(Closed) Oh good lord…

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time. It sounds to me like it’s just clinginess and an unwillingness to let go of her son. She probably didn’t see you as a threat while you guys were just dating, but now that you’re engaged she’s frightened and is taking it out on you by ignoring you.

This goes with her constant need for attention and visits too. She wants to be her son’s #1 priority—not you, not work, not anything. She seems unwilling to recognize that he has a life with you where the two of you live and so she might genuinely not understand that it’s difficult (not to mention expensive) to go see them so often. This could be exasperated by the other son living so close because she does get to see him all the time.

She really is being unreasonable. I think the best thing to do in this situation is stand your ground together with your Fiance. She’ll either learn to include both of you and enjoy the time you can spend together or she won’t. Either way, it’s important not to give in to her demands.

Good luck!

Post # 4
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

This reminds me of an old saying:

A daughter is a daughter all her life. A son is a son til he takes a wife.

Sounds to me like she’s finally realizing how true and close this is now and she isn’t dealing with it very well. I’m betting it really has nothing to do with you personally, but she knows her son is a man,moving on with his life and just doesn’t need her as much anymore.

Post # 5
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Side note: The reverse Oedipus complex is called the Electra Complex. I’m amazed I remember that from college lit!

Anyhow, good for your FH for putting his foot down! It sounds like Mother-In-Law is just freaking b/c she “losing her little boy.” The more boundaries he can put down the better!

Post # 7
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SimplyChic11: I think the reality that life is about to take a drastic change is what the issue is… It happened for a few weeks with me and my Fiance and my Future Mother-In-Law because my Fiance has been the man in her life for all his life and now she is having to share. Now it is better beause he let her know that it is not a contest so I hope it gets better for you.


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