(Closed) Oh gosh. I think I’m losing it. I am not sure if I even want to use her anymore

posted 9 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Do you think she is avoiding me because I have not given her the deposit yet? I have until 4/23 ...
    Yes, she is avoiding you until she has the money : (15 votes)
    100 %
    No, she will remain distant : (0 votes)
    Fire her, this is not how you should feel : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think at your meeting with her next week (before you give her the deposit) you should put in writing your expectations for her services and outline for her in detail how you like to work to get things done.  If she seems at all hesitant or you don’t have warm and fuzzy feelings about her, I would go with a different planner.

    Post # 4
    2765 posts
    Sugar bee

    Maybe you could talk to your friends, and ask them more about what their experience was like?

    Post # 5
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m not trying to be mean, but I do think she’s waiting to start doing work until she has your deposit. Right now she’s taking it on faith that you will pay her. I’m NOT doubting that you will by any means, but I think it’s important to see it from her side. If she has no money in hand why should she start planning? Like I said not trying to be rude, I think she’s just following business ways and waiting. Honestly, I would do the same, although I’d tell you that I cannot start doing any work for you until I have the deposit. If she’d give you a list of photographers and such she’s basically doing work for free and I can see why she’d avoid that. It doesn’t make it right to not tell you that up front though.
    I agree with Erindesmar that you should outline how much she’s going to be doing before signing the contract or giving her money. If you don’t get a good vibe from her then I wouldn’t go with her but try to understand she may just be cautious of planning without a contract or deposit.
    Just my $.02! 🙂

    Post # 6
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Agreed. I think she does not want to start working with you until she has her deposit.

    Post # 8
    398 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    First, look for other reviews besides your friends, try online.

    Second, make sure you outline what you expect of her.

    Third, make a provision in the contract that if you aren’t satisfied by X date that you will get some percentage of your money back.  You should have the ability to change your mind and replace her if she simply is not doing her job!

    Good Luck! 

    Post # 9
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I agree with checking reviews on her..and also realize she’s a professional and if she gave away basically free wedding advice before she is signed on and hired as a planner, she’d be basically broke.

    And yes, have a list of things you expect her to do for the price and go through that list LINE BY LINE UNTIL you feel comfortable or have a good answer. 

    Post # 10
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If I were a planner, I would not start working with a client until I had the money. I would talk a little more to your friends though about their experience.

    Post # 11
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    A lot of vendors won’t focus on your wedding details until they received signed contracts and deposits. That’s just how it goes. Once you have your next meeting with your planner make sure to speak with her about your expectations. A lot of wedding planners want/ask for assistance from their brides. Don’t expect her to do all the intiating without your input.

    Post # 12
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it’s a bad idea to confront her before your next meeting. It’ll be awkward to have your Fiance say "MsHymanRoth needs more attention from you" and Planner says back "I need a deposit from MsHymanRoth before I can give her attention". I think you should wait for your appointment and see how your Mom feels and to see if she’s treating you better. She may not be what you’re looking for but at least you’ll find out sooner rather than when you’ve signed the contract and she’s STILL not there for you!

    Good luck! Let us know how it turns out!

    Post # 13
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    When did you set your wedding date?  Does she know about it yet?  I only ask because your profile still says "Not sure yet" so maybe she’s operating under the assumption that you haven’t yet set the date.

    Also, I wouldn’t begin really working for a client until I had the retainer in hand.  I’m sure she’s been burned before, and it always makes you much more cautious!

    Post # 14
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

    If you have not paid her a penny yet, I would say it’s probably safe to assume that she’s waiting for her deposit before working with you. Otherwise she’s working for free. And I’m sure she’s dealt with flaky brides before; not saying that you are flaky, but in all reality, unless you are a friend of hers, she wouldn’t know. That would be like asking a photographer to photograph your wedding, but telling them you’ll pay them when the photos are ready. It just doesn’t work that way.

    To be on the safe side, make sure you read reviews on her and her work.

    Post # 16
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m sure she’s just waiting to get started until she gets the deposit.  But either way, at your deposit meeting coming up, you should definitely be going over expectations.  Even if she’s the "best" for a lot of people, she may not be the "best" for you….ask all these important questions before you sign on the dotted line…

    The topic ‘Oh gosh. I think I’m losing it. I am not sure if I even want to use her anymore’ is closed to new replies.

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