Post # 1
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
Some of you may remember my major vent HERE. I send high praise to anyone with enough nerve to read through it… My vent today will not be nearly as detailed or as long… more of a wisp of feelings..
SO
Last Monday one of my four bridemaids, my step sister, sends a text (a month before the wedding) that she isn’t coming to my wedding.
Yep you heard right… a text message. Something about she couldn’t afford the $175 ticket from New Orleans to Dallas… I could understand something like that had she not spent it partying the week before, or if she didn’t just get $1100 from my parents as a graduation gift, or if she hadn’t been my bridesmaid for the past 2 years of planning… or if I didn’t get her the shoes and dress for FREE, or if I hadn’t spent about $100 on Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts, OR that she didn’t wait until a month before to tell me…
But reasonably she has no excuse… She made it clear the week prior that she hates that she is in so many weddings this year… I took this as my first hint… I asked was she going to bail… she said no… four days later… she bails… You can imagine I am sourly pissed, especially since I have no last minute replacement.
The next thing is moreso sad….
My Older sister, mother of my nephew went into preterm labor at a mere 5 months… The baby was born at 1lbs 2 oz. He is my second nephew and will likely be at the hospital for a long while. That means not only will she not be able to make it, but my oldest nephew won’t be able to come either… he is my ringbearer 🙁
I can totally understand and agree to my siswter not coming. I mean, who wants to be 800 miles away and find out their baby might not make it? I would feel responsible.
I am sad that my sweet nephew was born so early, and also very sad my eldest nephew won’t make it and I wont get to see him… it will be almost 2 years… *sigh
So now I am out of a Bridesmaid or Best Man and a Ring Bearer… My Bridal Party is going to look awfully crooked….
Ok… I’m through… its about time to wrap up my little pity party…
At least my Bachelorette party is in a couple weeks….take my mind off the “Days of My Life” lol
Post # 3
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
Ugh yeah I know how you sorta feel. Two of my bms canceled on my wedding by text message. And it happened like two days before the wedding. One had strep and the other got in a car accident. Yeah, forgave the one that was sick. Haven’t talked to the one that got in an accident. Think it was bs.
Post # 4
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@ttn133: I dunno… strep throut isn’t that debilitating…I would have expected that she at least make an appearance… And the car accident.. what made you think she may have been lying? I mean, if it was just a fender bender… thats real messed up to cancel. I think people give text messages way too much credit. I got laid off through a text just last October… Classy right? I would lose it if anyone else decided to bail at the last minute. I hope your day still went off without a hitch 🙂
Post # 5
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
@lwilliams107: that is so terrible I’m really, really sorry. Just remember, an uneven Bridal Party is nothing to be worried about – mine is uneven even without any bails! In fact, if one of my BMs bailed it would actually look better in the photos 😉 But seriously – your step sister sounds like a piece of work..hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her after a while. And your poor sister, having to go through what she’s gone through…try and think about times in the future where you all can visit and really take the time to catch up, when you won’t be distracted by wedding stuff. My thoughts are with her (and you of course!!! having a nephew in the ICU is no joke, and wedding drama sucks)
@ttn133: what makes you think the accident was bs?
Post # 6
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
Wow… I can’t believe all of the horrible things you have to go through….I even read through your first post, and I am still shaking my head.
First of all the stupid text message…. I personally believe the text message is the same thing as breaking up via post-it-not (Sex in the City). You just don’t do it, it’s cowardly, rude and pathetic. I think she did it that way because she know’s she is 100% wrong and basically “screwing” you over. Arghh – I am almost mad at her now and I don’t even know her!
With your older sister, I think you are handeling it very well. Nothing can be done to change the situation. Hopefully baby and mother are both happy and doing well. Hopefully you can plan a get-together after the wedding to see each other.
I peeked at your pictures of your bridal portrait and you look stunning! I really hope your luck starts to change and only good things happen from now till your wedding day. Hope you have a great bachelorette party!
Post # 7
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
@lwilliams107: OMG a woman in Australia just got $12000 compensation because she got fired by text message! See a lawyer!!!
Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@ScarletBegonia: Seriously?!? Hmmm That was back in September… I don’t have it anymore, and I wonder if it would matter? There was quite a bit of sexual harrassment by one of the other managers, but from what I know he was let go too… by text message I’m sure LOL
Post # 9
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@lwilliams107: aww, i am sorry all this is happening. i will say that a crooked bridal party is not so bad! i have very little wedding guests with four BMs and 1 GM! and in the end my wedding was perfect no matter what. these things just dont matter, or rather, wont bring you down on the day of! hugs!
Post # 10
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
@lwilliams107: News story Here
I think there is probably some way to get the message back if need be, through the phone company or something?
Post # 11
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@ScarletBegonia: I dunno… it was a Metro PCS phone. I will do what I can to look into it though…
Post # 12
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
Post # 13
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
@lwilliams107: Oh, yeah the strep I was annoyed because all of a sudden her husband couldn’t go either. Both of which needed special gluten free meals and so I was annoyed that I accomodated them for no reason. She is a super close friend and she sent me a sorry note and she apologized a lot for it. She said she felt horrible about cancelling but she asked her family and friends and half of them said to not go because she didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick. Yeah, it would have been nice for her to show up to just the ceremony or maybe just show up to the reception and just wave. Although she does have some other health problems so I don’t know how sick the step got her, she might have been bed riddened because of it.
As for the Bridesmaid or Best Man with the accident, she said she or her husband (it wasn’t clear) hit a dear and that they couldn’t afford make it up. I understood she was having money problems. But I had known this for like months and I offered to almost everything to help. I offered gas money since they were driving to the wedding, I offered to help pay for her dress. My wedding was adult only but I made an exception so that she could bring her 3 kids and I had a room setup at my reception for the kids to play with kids meals and toys. I had asked her what toys her kids liked. I would have paid for a rental car so her family could make it up.
Yeah, maybe I was bitter that about $150 went down the drain just because the family of 5 couldn’t make it.
I think what really annoyed me was that weekend after the wedding, her facebook statuses were cheery (sp?) and happy. I don’t know if I missed a friends wedding and I was in an accident. I don’t know if I would be updating my status with happy fb statuses. Oh, my sister is a car insurance agent and I told her if she needed to talk to someone about it, that she could call her. Oh, did I mention that I asked her about the specific of the accident? I was really concerned at the time, wanted to make sure her kids were okay. She didn’t get back to me. Yeah, sounds like bs to me.
Maybe she had issues with the adult only reception, maybe money was really bad, maybe other things were going on. I don’t know. Pick up the damn phone and call me and tell me. I thought she was a good friend and good friend that would tell me what was going on.
Anyway, end of rant. lol
Yeah, oh, I had uneven BMs and GMs. Two of the GMs got to walk down with 2 BMs, so the guys loved that.
ETA: Oh, yeah, other than that, my wedding was great. You kinda of forget about all the bad stuff when you are having a great time at your wedding. I pretty much forgot about how annoyed and angry I was with the two BMs until I just rehashed it back up. lol
Post # 14
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
That’s a lot of stress! I hope that everything else settles down for you soon.
Post # 15
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
Yea.. the doctors just said that my nephew isn’t going to make it 🙁
Post # 16
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
That is horrible of your step sister… but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. You wouldn’t want someone to be part of your Bridal Party if their heart wasn’t in it.
VERY sorry to hear that your nephew isn’t going to make it.
