(Closed) Oh, hello, random friend of a relative. Please enjoy my wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Not a big deal.

Post # 4
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i actually dont think it would have been weird for your cousin to say to her hiking buddy – “i am planning the timing of this vacation around my cousin’s wedding, so for that one day i won’t be able to hang with you”.  i am sure the hiking buddy could entertain herself for one day.  i know i could if i was said hiking buddy.  that is really nice of you that you are going to accommodate her after all.

Post # 7
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

There is no sense in stressing over something so minor in the big scheme of things. It’s simple, if this is such a huge source of stress for you just tell your cousin you are unable to accommodate her friend.  It’s better to be honest than to resent your cousin over this.  I had a few people bring uninvited guests to my wedding.

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Has the cousin ever been involved in weddings or wedding planning before.  Has she been to a lot of weddings?  We aren’t doing +1s for our wedding and it seemed like the people who have been to several really understood that not getting a +1 on the invite meant they didn’t get a date.  For the few who hadn’t been to many weddings before, they (for some odd unknown reason I still don’t understand) assumed they would be entitled to bring a random date to the wedding and some were very upset to learn that wasn’t the case.

You could explain that to her, but it seems like you’ve already decided to let the friend come anyway, which I think is very big and understanding of you!!

Post # 9
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@dynamic_duo: I agree. I don’t think it would be awkward at all to ask the friend to figure something out on her own that day, and if it really bothers you, I’d have a polite discussion with your cousin. I do think it’s weird that she’s using the opportunity as a vacation and your wedding is secondary to her plans.

Post # 10
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am actually guilty of assuming I could bring a date when I wasn’t given a plus one.  The bride had to send me an uncomfortable email about it.  I got over it!  She might just not realize that she wasn’t supposed to bring a guest….if it’s an issue I would talk to her about it.

Post # 11
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@vabride2011: I agree. I know it’s annoying, but I’m impressed that you’re just going to drop it. I’d think the friend could’ve just hung out by herself for one evening.

Post # 11
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t see how her response is rude. Sometimes we need someone to smack us and tell us to stop being hysterical over something that’s not a big deal.

OP-You really have two options. Allow the plus one, or call her and tell her that she can’t bring the plus one. It sucks, but people who aren’t getting married aren’t spending their time on websites and reading through wedding etiquette. Maybe she should have checked with you first, but she didn’t. You need to deal with it however you are going to deal with it though, because if you let it stew, you are just going to be pissed about it.

Post # 14
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@UrbanAlaskan: i dont think you were being hysterical either, you already decided to let the random guest come so it seem like you were just venting. Im with you, i would totally be annoyed too but you are handling it very well.

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