(Closed) "Oh it's your wedding….BUT"

posted 6 years ago in September 2012
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not doing a lot of the traditional stuff either. No bridemaids, groomsmen, no bouquet/garter toss, no grand entrance, having a man of honor and best women, instead of Maid/Matron of Honor and bestman…

So my mom said my wedding sounds boring… Thanks mom. lol. But honestly we are having a small wedding, 50 people. No kids. My Fiance is pretty stern on what he says and we both want the same, so I’m just doing it my way and not letting anyone tell me different.  Its your guy’s day and go with what you want. You might have to compromise with somethings I’m sure. I’m sure everyone will have fun and all that extra stuff wouldn’t even matter. 

Post # 4
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you need to relax a bit.  Quit stressing, and honestly some of this stuff if it happens won’t be the end of the world or ruin your wedding.  Just try to remember you are marrying the man you love and that is all that matters.

Post # 5
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Your wedding sounds very simliar to mine.  We are skipping a lot of the traditional stuff too.  Its your wedding and you arent being unreasonable.

Post # 8
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Ashley_B:  I know it does, but in all reality once the day has come and gone you realize that all this stressing about the little things was not really worth all the stress.  Just try to relax and enjoy your last few weeks here…

Post # 9
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

For quite some time, I have been following the boards and learned a lot and received support and help. I am 56 years old and this is my second marriage. We had a courthouse wedding and we are having a vow renewal in Jamaica in November.

One thing everyone says is “it’s your wedding, do it your way” BUT how many of us actually do that. I realize there is etiquette and some things are just plain poor taste. I think many get into the mindset that we have to do all the standard wedding things. Think of the times when you have been a guest at a wedding. Some of the weddings that stand out to me are those when it differed from tradition and had unique aspects. It’s not the traditional garter and bouquet toss. We are each unique, wonderful individuals and our wedding should reflect that. It’s hard to stand true to who you are but it is worth it. Pick your battles. What can you compromise on for family and what can you absolutely not give in on?

I liken this to Christmas. Somewhere throughout the years, all of these Christms traditions were born. Cookies, cards, decorating, gifts, big dinners. My mother used to bake about twenty five dozen cookies. Before Christmas we had to sneak a cookie. Christmas Day and after it was “eat the damn cookies” before they get stale! Over the years as a working mom, I would make myself crazy trying to do everything. Well after awhile, I thought I’m not enjoying this at all and this is not what the holidays are about. I stopped sending cards and just did what I could do. We still had Christmas and it was good……maybe we didn’t have as many cookies and stockings got missed once every few years. Christmas came whether I had everything done or not.

That’s the way I feel about weddings. The most important thing is marrying your love and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. When I attend a wedding I want to see the love between the bride and groom, have some food and drink, celebrate with the couple, and I love to dance. That’s all.

Post # 11
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh honey I heard so much of that crap. Just tune them out. Everybody wants to put their two (or more) cents in before the wedding and “fix” it when there’s nothing wrong. Try not to let it get to you.

Congrats on your very near wedding!

Post # 12
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, when I go to weddings and they have all the traditional routine stuff, it gets kinda boring. Its about an hour long of seeing the grand entrence, introductions, first dance, father bride dance, father in law dance, vis versa. The bouquet/garter toss. Who really enjoys watching all that? Besides enjoying the couple ceremony of getting married, the fun really starts when everyone is relaxed and in party mode. 

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel you. Our wedding will be very similar, and it’s like, “This is OUR wedding, we will or won’t do what we want, thank you.” My grandma was scandalized when I said that our ceremony is only going to be 15 minutes long. She said it NEEDS to be at least 30. For what? 3-4 minute processional, and then a quick ceremony, recessional, the end. It doesn’t need to be any longer or more involved in that, mostly because we don’t want it to be. Again, our wedding.

The pictures…argh. I’m stressing about this. I do NOT want a million pictures of the families. There are only so many ways you can jostle that many people around before it gets tedious. We both have big families, so I really don’t want to spend a ton of time taking pictures with them in every possible combination. I got really annoyed at FI’s cousin’s wedding because their photographer wanted to take multiple pictures of every combination of the family, the wedding party, etc.

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sorry you’re dealing with so much nonsense. I got the same thing while I was planning. My hair, my shoes, the venue, the time of day, the food — every little detail I wanted was sure to make it THE WORST WEDDING EVVAAAARRRRR. But afterwards, the biggest criticizers gushed about how great everything was. Tune them out for now, and if you are concerned about anyone in particular making nasty comments the day of, assign a bridesmaid or a tactful friend to keep an eye on them and intervene as necessary.

Post # 16
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your wedding sounds just like mine!! We’re not doing much traditional stuff that takes more time. Some people probably won’t even notice.

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