(Closed) Oh, just your typical “thinking about eloping” post… (long, sorry!)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

DH’s family is huge and we solved the problem by eloping (or, to be more accurate, downsizing a hell of a lot to a 12-person courthouse ceremony and a 16 or so-person restaurant reception). And to be honest, I have no regrets–thinking of all the money we saved is a relief!

Post # 5
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Have a destination wedding and invite all 200 people.  If they can’t come, well, you tried.  Right?

I told my dad either he had to contribute or I was having a Destination Wedding.  It wasn’t a threat, and frankly, I wish he had said ok, go for it, because overall I would be less stressed and happier, I think.

Crunch your numbers.  Find a reasonable venue.  Figure out how much you would need from your dad to bridge your budget gap, and if he balks again, start planning your Destination Wedding.

Post # 6
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you and your Fiance sounds like us when i was trying to plan a wedding for our italian/greek families and one day i had enough and i asked my then Fiance what he wanted and he said i just want to be married to you – so we eloped to a south pacific island

we didnt invite anyone else but what about you having a destination wedding and everyone can pay for themselves to go

as far as telling everyone, we mailed “message in a bottle” themed annoucements and had a big after party when we came home and the cost of that went from $150pp to $25 because although catered with wait staff it was at home so no venue fees and decorating was at a min

goodluck, my only advise is to think about what you and your Fiance want and try not to please the masses

Post # 7
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I went through a very similar situation that you are in. We decided to invite immediate family, grandparents, and our closest friends for a total of 35 guests. FH’s extended family was and still its upset about our decision. We would have had a Destination Wedding but my Future Father-In-Law recently became very ill so this is our “DW”in town! 🙂 in order to please his side of the family which lives here (my family is on the easy coast) they will be invited to either the rehearsal dinner or his grandma will host a day after brunch so they feel included. FH and I couldn’t be happier with our decision. We are able to splurge on things with a smaller group than a larger group (lots of yummy food and drinks). I say do what will make the two of you happy!! Sorry for rambling…:) hth

Post # 9
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@GreenGables: Sorry for the delayed response! As far as I know, no one was really upset–a few cousins were bummed that they couldn’t come, but we were strict on it–immediate family only, pretty much. There just wasn’t room in the courthouse and we did not want a big wedding at all. We apologized and explained the situation (we basically scrapped our original idea and re-planned in about a month and a half, and a close relative had passed away during that time period as well–hectic!) and everything’s cool now.

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