Post # 1
This is pretty long, so if you actually get through it, thank you…LOL. Just venting as usual.
A very good friend of mine met a guy about 4 months ago…they started dating right away and things were going pretty good. At this point, my SO and I had talked about getting engaged and he mentioned that he started saving- so I didnt get a detailed timeline, but it helped a ton to know I had planted the seed ( we are 28 and 29 and have been together over a year). So, here I am thinking at the very least an engagement will happen before her and her guy ( Not that it is a competition, but it was just a feeling I had…). So me and my friend would have countless convos on my wedding and planning, thinking my proposal would come this summer.
Well, all that has come to a halt, because now, after 4 months, friend and SO are engaged…I am totally and truthfully happy for them, I love them and love them together. But it just hit me like a ton of bricks, they decided to speed things up and get married and have a wedding at the end of this summer, and all of a sudden the roles have been switched and here I am, helping another friend/sister plan their wedding. I just thought it was going to be different this time, and for once I would get to plan my special day…it just kind of sucks. I have learned to not mentione anything about my wedding until I am engaged, so I probably jumped the gun, but still. So now I am focusing my own wedding planning energy into hers, and it’s just not easy. I forgot what it’s like to be excited for my own, because there is always someone who will be doing it first.
She has been married once before too, so its not her first rodeo.
I may be sounding jealous- and I probably AM- but I just dont know how much of this I can keep doing…always the bridesmaid and never the bride, always.
If this has ever happened to any of you, do you have any insight? Thanks 🙂
Post # 3
First, I think your feelings are yours, and this is a safe place to share them 🙂 When you are waiting, it can be frustrating to see people ‘pass you up’ time and time again, especially when you feel yours is so soon!
Just because this friend is engaged does not mean you guys have to stop ‘dreaming’ about your one day wedding! It just means that when she needs you to talk about hers, you respect that, and do what you can, etc.
It also does not mean that a potential engagement of yours needs to be put on the back burner when it happens. Many, if not ALL OF US, would agree that getting an engaged is an event, just like having a wedding is ONE day. All the days/moments in between those are open to many many life changing events for others, such as the announcement of an engagment, another wedding day, pregnancy news, etc! It gives you, or anyone an opportunity to share tips, share excitment, have your parties, and have someone elses!
I think my insight for you is to be supportive of your friend, just as she will be supportive you when your time comes!! AND, to help turn this into something positive…hopefully…I find that the more people that ‘go ahead of me’…and there have been LOTS is an opportunity for me to keep learning what I want, or do not want. Great ideas for my one day wedding, and maybe not so great ideas. Ways to save, and ways to spend, etc. Consider yourself lucky to have that too!!
Post # 4
Well she moves fast lol. What’s her secret? 😡 I’m definitely the eternal bridesmaid girl so I get your disappointment. All you can do is try to be ssupportive and try to keep the green eyed monster at bay. It doesn’t mean your planning has to stop if you are certain your guy is on the same page.
At your ages you two should be progressing a bit more. Atleast engaged by the 2yr mark. Do you live together? I don’t know if you plan to have kids but timing is key at our ages. Have you ever asked him for a timeline?
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Aww, I don’t have any advice but I do feel for you! It really sucks, vent here all you like and continue being the best friend you can be.
your time definitely can’t be that far away and no matter what has happened before it, it will still be special and exciting. All the best to you x
Post # 6
You’ll have your special day to plan when you get engaged.