Post # 1
So from the beginning of wedding planning my mother has input some ideas and discussion, but for the most part has stayed out of it.
She did want to carry a bouquet along with the bridesmaids ( down the aisle? All night? Who knows) and reluctantly agreed to a MOB wrist corsage.
When I said that my bridesmaids dresses would be navy blue , she went out and bought a navy blue dress.
I bought navy blue robes for my 2 bridesmaids and a white one for me to “get ready in”. Well shit hit the fan. I showed my mom the robes and all she said was “only 3?… I guess FI’s mom and I don’t need to get ready with you on your wedding day then”. I could tell she was hurt I didn’t get her a robe, and tried explaining to her that she is held in higher esteem as the MOTHER of the bride compared to a friend and she would be getting something special , a thank you gift etc etc. By the way , I’m paying for her and FI’s mom’s hair and makeup to be done with us in the morning, so all along was under the assumption that everyone would be getting ready in the same room …
A week later, she has now sent me a text of the same robe in the same colour from the same Etsy shop saying she was just going to buy herself a robe to wear .
Ibknow these are just little things so be annoyed about , but we’re down to the wedding wire here and knowing that my mother is just bottling up hurt feelings then passive aggressively acting on them is causing me more stress than needed.
Post # 2
These all sound like things my fiance’s mom would do. I love her to death, but she is so jealous. We make her feel left out without ever meaning to.
The thing I keep trying to remember is that there is no way to please every single person at my wedding. I want to try to please all of the immediate family members, but even they aren’t going to be happy 100 percent of the time.
I’m sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you are doing your best to make sure she feels appreciated and she’s still finding ways to not feel appreciated. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d just let her keep to her antics and ignore them as much as possible and plan on taking lots of special pictures with her and doing things the day of to make her feel good.
Post # 3
What weird behaviour for a grown woman! lol
Sorry – I know this must be super frustrating… but honestly, I think at this point the best thing you can do is just laugh about it and let it happen.
Post # 4
My mom does this shit. She texted me last night at almost 10 o clock knowing full well I work all day, get up at the crack of dawn, go to school, and care for our home (most women do!) to start a convo. I replied, ‘He’s doing well. I’m going to bed. Sorry, night love you’. She just said, ‘night’.
That super irritates me. Like, do you wnat me to just drop everything for -you- to make -you- feel better? Obviously I don’t voice my concerns to her because that would just make things worse but sometimes I want to!
Post # 5
sboom : It is SO frustrating!
I feel like I have to walk on eggshells as to not say anything to hurt her feelings, but also make sure she feels included in things along the way. This isn’t the first or last time she will be like this lol.
Post # 6
Sounds very similar to my mom lol. Sorry, this is annoying.
Post # 7
avprobeauty : my mom does this too!
except she calls me , at work during the day , every day, just to chat… about nothing. Then gets upset when I’m short with her or not saying much.
Woman, I am at work!
Post # 8
jazzybee83 : no kidding Im like it must be nice to walk dogs twice a week and stay home all day but I have a f*cking job lady! LOL
Post # 9
avprobeauty : our mom’s would be friends LOL!
Post # 11
out of curiosity, growing up did she shirk her mothering role in favor of trying to be your BFF?
It just really sounds like she’s upset she isn’t the same as your bridesmaid, and strange she doesn’t see the value in being the MOB.
Post # 12
amanda1988 : She was very much the mother figure,friend second… I think.. omg just one more thing to add to my list to get myself to a therapist haha
I also don’t understand why she is downplaying her role as MOB, I think she just wants to put on a pretty robe and felt slighted that I *gasp* would not also buy her one.
i should have just bought 5 effing robes.
Post # 13
jazzybee83 : Have you always felt like your job is to protect your mothers emotions, even if you think they’re over the top?
Do you find you often put your own wants and needs aside in order to satisfy hers?
Do you find it very difficult to establish/maintain boundaries with her?
Sorry, you don’t have to answer any of these to me. I’m just a nosey nancy. For the most part nothing you’ve described is particularly insane, aside from the fact she clearly is jealous of your bridesmaids and wishes she was one of those rather than MOB. I’m just curious if this is part of a deeper pattern.
Post # 14
This would bother me too. It’s kinda weird behavior for a mature woman.
My mother was SHOCKED when I said that my dad was walking me down the aisle. Literally, SHOCKED. Because she thought she should too. And they’re married, so it isn’t like a resentment toward the ex thing.
Post # 15
jazzybee83 : I would hide the one she bought and give her this one: