Post # 1
Im.SO.Done. Seriously, im sooo finished with my mom. She has been NOTHING but problems since i announced that im getting married and now THIS…
ok so the conversation goes something like this
me : hey i heard you found a nice dress?
mom: yeah, its soo nice kristi, its just ONE SHADE DARKER than your bridesmaid dresses, and the same material.
shocked face and speechless
mom: im going to look SOOOOOOO good, I bought irredescent shoes (wtf?) and jewelery, im (gasp) just going to look sooooo good.
me: still in shock…..speechless
mom: I just dont want to outshine you though…
me: no words…..breaks over gotta go.
WTF?!?! seriously,who does she think she is?!?! I told her already, please mom, dont wear the same color as the bridesmaids, wear like navy blue if you want but just PLEASE dont try to fit in….WHY doesnt she just LISTEN?
This is like such a slap in the face…my own mother. and”i just dont want to outshine you” THEN WEAR BEIGE!!! GAHH im done with her.
Sorry just needed to let it alllll out.
Post # 3
Maybe I just don’t see what you do… but I don’t see what she did so wrong.
Post # 4
Agree w/lilyfaith. May this be the worst of your wedding problems! It sounds like your mom is actually excited about her dress. Why is it particularly important that she not have the same shade as the BMs again? Am I missing something?
Post # 5
I don’t really see the problem. I mean, there are only so many shades of navy blue…
She’s never going to outshine you, no matter what color she wears.
Post # 6
I agree… I don’t see the issue. My mother is so insecure about finding a dress/pantsuit that she’ll feel pretty in… she could wear a purple polka dot jumper for all I care, as long as she feels pretty and proud to be my mamma at the wedding!
I actually think it’s great that your mom will co-ordinate with your wedding party–at the very least, she won’t clash!
Seems like good news to me. I second rplatzer–may this be the worst you go through.
Post # 7
I agree with the prvious posters, I don’t understand why your upset, I would be happy if my mom color coordinated with my wedding look also.
EDIT: sorry i posted at the same time as you and didn’t see your reply, i guess that would explain why your so upset. Eh let it go she’ll coordinate with the wedding and she’ll never outshine you.
Post # 8
Lol, because my mom and i dont have a very good relationship. She has never been there for me and it seems like every time she gets the chance she will steal the spotlight. she will go literally like 2 months without phoning me, and then when she does its to say something like..oh this persons dead..or, oh im sick. basically shes just a big attention whore. I just kind of feel like for her to say “im going to look sooooo goood” is kind of crossing a line. I would never go to a bride, even if it was y best friend and be like ” oh im going to look fabulous” but to say that to your own daughter?? I dunno, why would she even pick a dress that she thinks would outshine me?? what is her purpose? i guess im just kind of confused on the whole situation.
Post # 9
Oh honey! I can SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO relate to you but my mom’s exact words were: “I’m afraid I might upstage you.” She said this twice to me and finally I just looked at her and said, “Mom, no one is upstaging ME on MY day!” and I walked away. She hasn’t peeped about upstaging me since.
I recommend saying something like this to your mom. If I hear my mom mention it one more time I’m planning on having a talk with her. Perhaps you can do that same? It was very upsetting (angry upset, not crying upset) to me when she said this to me and I can tell by your post how upset it made you.
Post # 10
I understand where you’re coming from. I personally did not want my mom or the MOG wearing the same color as the bridesmaids because EVERY time I’ve seen the moms wear the same shade, I’ve thought it looked like the moms were really old bridesmaids. I think it looks silly. Others might think it looks cute, but I don’t. So I get that you didn’t want your mom to match the bridesmaids.
Have you seen the dress yet? Maybe it’s not as matchy matchy as you think… besides, you probably won’t be taking that many pictures where your mom AND your bridesmaids are both in the pictures. I would try to just take a deep breath and move on…. you have SO many more things to stress out over that this is probably going to seem SO small and tiny once you look back on it. 🙂
Post # 11
Oh, and i forgot to mention that my wedding isnt formal. its laid back easy going…the groom isnt even wearing a tie for petes sake! Shes going to show up in a bloody gown made for the oscars and so naturally people are going to be like..ummm ok, did i miss something? And she knows its not formal. I told her wear something casual, nice, something that you can wear again. But no, she goes for some kind of bedazzled, bejeweled, bedangled something or other and its just ….annoying…
Post # 12
I don’t think your overreacting. I think if you specifically asked her to stay away from a certain color than she should have respected that. She’s pointing out that its only one shade darker than the Bridesmaid or Best Man so she knows what you requested. She knows she didn’t meet your request. & for someone to say their going to “outshine” you on your day. Well that’s just rude. I don’t care who it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Especially from your mom. Wowza. Sorry Girl!
Post # 13
I feel for you!
My mom’s total “all about me” person. She keeps reminding me that her Mom book says that she’s the second most important person next to the bride.
I’m sorry!! Not much advice to offer you. Just pick your battles. I’m sure more will come 🙂
Post # 14
I don’t think you are over reacting. I’d be annoyed if MOB or MOG was wearing the same color as the bridemaids (hello – they aren’t young and shouldn’t try to dress like the bridesmaids).
If your Mom is way over dressed for your wedding, she will stand out, but not in a good way. There is no way she will out shine you at your wedding and you should tell her that. And explain its tacky for her to even try.