Post # 1
fi finally fesses up last night that he hates the dress i am getting made !!!! OMG now he tells me. i am a 2nd time round 40 year old disabled plus size bride finding any dress was hard enough but now he tells me he hates lace and he thinks i am hiding behind and old ladies dress and not being my true self.
he says he loves my curves so why am i hiding them in a frumy dress
he did actually come shopping with me once for my dress as i knew i could never afford a shop one so we just went for ideas and although he has not seem the actual design for my dress he knows the direction i was going as he will be helping me dress on the day
what the heck do i do now
he says the satin strapless sparkley lace back princess (he means a line) was the one he loved
i felt it was to young and to bridey for me.
any clues bees i am at my wits end
my design was based on allure 8714 (
Post # 3
8714 does not look frumpy…at all!!!
and if you really feel bad about it you could try to find a different used/preowned dress… to save money ya know…
Post # 4
I am so sorry! Something very similar happened with my Darling Husband and I… he doesn’t like lace either and I do, so it was a tough decision. The allure gown is very pretty and I think once the day is here, with all the emotion that goes along with it, and he sees you, he won’t be thinking about lace or satin or anything else.
Is it possible to have them make some changes to the dress? Like making it more A-line or more similar to the one he does like? (What is the one he likes?)
Post # 5
The dress you’re having made is BEAUTIFUL.
Do you love it?
He shouldn’t care what you are wearing on the day…he will be too wrapped up in marrying you!
But you need to feel good about yourself and if those “princess” gowns aren’t your style anymore, don’t get one!
Wear what makes you feel good!
Post # 6
I just took a look at that dress, it is NOT frumpy at all. When he sees the finished product on you, he will love it. If you love it, you will be radiant in it, and that is what he will see. Don’t worry about it.
Post # 7
aww wlike all the bees said, on that day, his concentration would be on you- the woman hell be marrying, not the dress the woman hell be marrying is wearing.. hahaha, it comes down to how you feel.. if u feel like u wanna change the dress because he thinks its ugly, then go for it, but just as long as u feel that is something you are willing to do — to find something you bth love. Or keep this one if you trully love it and hell accept it. Hes not wearing it, so he wont care. and guys arent like girls btw- you might care what ur Fiance is wearing on his wedding day because we have this thing with perfection and- orginization, and yada yada.. if it was up to the man, hed just go in with his boxers if he had to.. ( LOL) but, he wont really make it a big deal when he sees it on you. With your make up, accessories, and hair done- ur gonna look fantastic.
Just do what makes you feel good <3
Post # 8
I think this dress is absolutley gorgeous and will definatley show off your curves.
Post # 9
i think this dress is beautiful!!
Post # 10
Oh, dear, I can see how this must have pulled the rug out from under you. If your design has the portrait neckline like the Allure, and the fitted skirt, then Honey, your Fiance is going to love your curves in this dress! You are really going to show them off. 🙂 And the sleeves are so classy! My guess is that he can’t totally picture what this dress is going to look like on you. From one 40+ bride to another, my Fiance is terrible about choosing styles of clothing for me. In the 12+ years that we’ve been together he has never gotten it right. LOL. My advice to you is go with a design that works for your body shape and taste, because you really do know what works and what doesn’t.
If his dislike has totally ruined this dress for you: how far into the process is the dress making at this point? I see that you are 11 months away from your wedding date, so is it possible to talk to the seamstress to see what kind of changes can be made to the design to accomodate his tastes?
Personally, I think the dress style you’ve picked is a winner. In fact, I looked at it and thought, “Hmm, I could see myself wearing this! It’s beautiful!” I think the style offers many complimentary features.
Good luck with your decision.
Post # 11
@LauraBenbow71: So he hasn’t see the actual design of the dress? He just kinda knows the direction your going for it? And he hasn’t seen the dress on you yet? If he hasn’t seen you in the dress, then how can he presume it is not “you” enough and that you will look frumpy in it?
Tell him you love him, but his assessment is inaccurate and that he needs to trust you (there’s that word again) that you’ve made the best decision for you, for your taste and body. If you love it, then clearly you are listening to yourself and what you love. Your dress is STUNNING and so very classic. He’ll just have to wait and be patient for you to knock his socks off that day.