Post # 1
Omgsh – I am shaking as I write.
I share a phone plan with my fiance. This is a recent development. He had like 6000 roll overs so we added me to his plan without upping the minutes. Now we are monitoring the usage to make sure we don’t go over. Well I normally just get on there – look at the number and log off but I noticed right under the minutes – that he has been texting like CRAZY. He has 2222 texts and i had 432…. and I am an avid texter.
I go into the history and it is the same number over and over
I *67 and called the number – it was a girl named jaimie.
Early in our relationship – i went through this a few time with him. The first time the girl came to tell me about it ( she found out he had a girlfriend) – she said they never had any plans or intentions to meet up – they just flirtily texted back and forth. I confronted him and he admitted he was texting her — he said he had no intentions to do anything with her – it was harmless – she hit on him at a bar and he responded to texts. He said he flirted and was wrong.
A few other times I caught him with girls numbers and confronted him– he would deny, say it was so and so– blah blah blah.
I was ready to give up and then it’s almost like – he saw the light. He started puting more into our relationship – we moved in together, we basically never do anything apart – we live with his brother right now, he doesnt go out without me really ever — unless it is something for work.
what the hell do i do?? Should I call her back and ask for details? Should I confont him? Should I buy one of those reverse Cell phone things and figure out her last name and stalk her on facebook?? What if he says it was harmless texting again — should I call off this engagement?
HELP HELP HELP HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Post # 3
Here are some things I was thinking:
1. Bring to his attention how much he has been texting and ask whats up?
2. Call girl back and ask for details.
3. Buy reverse cell phone searcher and find her last name and really stalk her to figure out what is going on.
Post # 4
wow. Well. Follow your gut. If you think he’s up to no good, he probably is. Confront him. Over 2,000 texts is a lot. Especially if you’ve had this problem before. That’s crazy. If I had given him that many chances and he still was doing this, I’d be done. But that’s just me.
Post # 5
You need to confront him. This rings to me like he was looking to get caught. I mean, you’re both on the same cell phone plan and watching your minutes, so clearly he knew you were going to see it. And if you’ve caught him doing this exact thing multiple times, I think you need to evaluate if that’s something you’re okay with or not. I wouldn’t be okay with Darling Husband texting some random girl he met in a bar, there’s nothing “harmless” about that to me.
Post # 6
Talk to your Fiance and see what he says, but I would probably call off the engagement. I wouldn’t stalk the girl, though, she might not even know he’s engaged and you’ll just freak her out.
Post # 7
I don’t believe in this “harmless flirty texts”. That right there would have been a deal breaker for me.
I think you should ask him honestly. Just tell him you saw the number and you want to know whats up.
Post # 8
I think you need to talk to your Fiance. Stalking this girl is not going to do you any good.
And I really don’t think you should be putting her name and number on a world-wide forum like this.
Post # 9
I think you should confront him directly and asap
Post # 10
I hope you don’t really think stalking the girl is an option…
Confront him and dump him.
Post # 11
First of all, sorry this is happening to you. But before you go “crazy” on some girl named Jaime I think you need to stop this at the source….your Fiance. This happened when you were dating, and it’s happening now that you’re engaged. Do you want to risk it when you’re married and can’t go everywhere with him because you’re pregnant and/or have babies, or like, a life besides babysitting him at the bar? I think you need to go home and sit down and discuss this with him. Some men are addicted to feeling wanted/needed by other women, and even if this is just a textual relationship can you handle that? I’m assuming not. Calling this girl isn’t going to stop your Fiance from thinking this okay, and it’s not going to fix what’s wrong here. I’d recommend counseling, but honestly, I’d also recommend you really spending some time thinking about whether or not you want to be engaged to/planning a wedding with someone who would do this to you. There’s a lot of great men out there, and not all of them will hurt you like this.
Post # 12
OK – Side note –
while he was being an a*shole of a boyfriend a year and a half ago – I obviously had serious trust issues and went through his stuff constantly.
I feel like he will turn it on me immediately and ask why I was going through his stuff.
I know it sounds strange but he has won so many battles with that tiny argument. Its like I want to talk to this girl and have her email me the texts and then show it to him and say she came to me …. I know this sounds immature– and I need to just grab some balls and talk to him but … OMG i seriously cant think straight!!!!!
Post # 13
Don’t sneak around. Be upfront and tell him what you did. Ask for answers.
Post # 14
I, like some other bees, believe you should contront him about the texts…just casually bring it up like ‘wow babe, you sure did text alot last month…I only used 400 and I text all the time, but you used over 2000!’..just to see what he’ll say. Then after that I’d go ahead and mention that you called the number and it was Jamie. I wouldn’t put up with that – AT ALL. If this has happened a few times in the past with the same girl, i’d honestly be done with him. He thinks he can get away with it because you’ve forgiven him every single time. He thinks you will believe anything he says. Thats why he continues to do it. I’d wipe my hands clean of this guy. Let ‘jamie’ have him. He’s obviously never going to change.
Post # 15
Oh my gosh – so you guys think I should call it off.
oh my god.. i need to leave work. I need to get out of here.
Seriously– YOU ( think about your relationship) YOU WOULD leave him?!!?!? Don’t just give me advice that you think is what a woman should do…
Post # 16
i woudl skip the stalking her on facebook part, but i would confront him and it couldnt hurt to put in a phone call to her as well, let her know that yes we are still dating and 2 we are engaged. hopefully that will at least give her perspective into what she is getting herself into. I would FLIP if this was my fiance. in no way shape or form is texting anothe girl ok with me..especially as much as he seems to be doing it. I would seriously take a step back and look at the relationship you are getting into. he has done it before and will probably do it again. Doesnt sound like he is quite man enough to take on the commitment of a marriage. Good luck! and keep us updated, we are here for support! 🙂