Post # 1
My Fiance is having his bachelor party in Vegas with his best buddies. It will be debaucherous (within reason). I’m fine with this. But my mother thinks that the FOB is typically invited to the bachelor party, and is making m dad feel bad because he’s not invited. My Fiance loves my dad, but doesn’t want him at that weekend because (a) it’s a bunch of his best friends, (b) they’re all about 30 and my dad is almost 70 and (c) it’s going to be somewhat debaucherous and that’s awkward with your future Father-In-Law there, and (d) they’re all sharing a suite. My mom says my dad has been invited to something like 30 bachelor parties in recent years (he’s a fun guy) and she claims the FOBs were also invited to those parties.
So which one of us is crazy?
Post # 3
She’s crazy hands down and I feel bad that she’s making your dad feel bad.
Post # 4
I do’nt know, I think that’s crazy. My Fiance had a cabin bachelor party with his buddies and I can’t imagine my dad going – even though they get along totally great.
I just think of it like this: would I want my FI’s mom at my bachelorette? Absolutely not, and I love her to death. But that’s gal pal time. I would be weirded out having any parent at an event like that, even if it was pretty tame.
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s crazy for your mother to ask – but I do think it’s crazy for her to insist. It is NOT typical for FOB’s to go with the groom to a bachelor party. Is there anyway you can plan a ‘guys’ party with your Fiance, your dad – and maybe any siblings? Or, have your Fiance hang out with your dad for some ‘guy’ time?
Tell your mom to zip it!!!
Post # 6
Those are parties for your friends. Just tell her that because everyone else did it doesn’t mean that even you personally condone it, and that FI’s buddies are throwing it so they get to choose who’s there.
I don’t get how she doesn’t understand that awkwardness… my dad wouldn’t go in a million years to my FI’s, and he’s only in his mid 40s!
Post # 7
I didn’t pick a choice because I think it depends on the situation. In your case, NO, FOB should not be invited. That sounds like a crazy guys gone wild time and FOB would be out of place.
In my FI’s case, he’s planning on having a golf/casino weekend. Best man (his brother) is clueless and FI’s dad is helping to plan. He was always planning on inviting my dad and his dad. But they definitely won’t be all sharing a room, and the dads will probably head back when it comes time for barhopping and such. There will be no strip clubs or anything involved because Fiance is not into it.
It definitely depends on the situation.
Post # 8
my fi is inviting my dad to the dinner part, but that’s local so the dad’s can leave while the boys go do their thing.
Post # 9
If the bachelor party were in your town and were not going to be outrageous, then I would say to invite him. However, under the circimstances, I’d say NO WAY! In Vegas, things tend to get more out-of-hand then anyone plans and I’ve been shocked before at hearing about bachelor parties that I thought would be conservative. No way would I want my Dad there and he is very open-minded and “hip” compared to most 70 year-olds. My parents actually hang out with some of our friends w/o us! If my Fiance were going to Vegas, I wouldn’t want my Dad to go and he would understand.
Post # 10
It’s the bachelor party: the bride doesn’t have any say over the guestlist. Not your problem.
But of course, it is! So: tell your parents that your Fiance really wants to have a special night with his close, close, old friends from way, way back when and there will be inside jokes and already formed bonds and it would be way, way, way awkward for your dad to be there.
Post # 11
No, no, and no. Yes, sometimes grooms choose to do a low key steak dinner or whatever and in that case it might be appropriate. For a full-on bachelor party, though, no way!
I think this is a situation where you just have to put your foot down and be up front and honest. Tell your dad that Fiance loves him, but that it would be inappropriate for him to be there. Trust me, if your dad asks around at all other people will back that up.
Post # 12
My dad’s going on FH’s because they are golfing and everything, but I’m honestly sending him to make sure none of the groomsmen try to pull a fast one. Now that we’re almost there, I don’t think they will. But FH loves my dad and my brother is now going too. It will be almost a family thing since his dad and brother are groomsmen as well.
I wish I had advice for you, but it would definitely be awkward for your dad to be around all of that craziness.
Post # 13
Um, the gender parallel to that would be my Future Mother-In-Law attending my bachelorette party. Oh, hell no. Seriously. Hell. No.
Post # 14
@redherring…AAAAAAA!!! Noooooo! Ha ha, too funny. I heart my Future Mother-In-Law but she is a sweet, somewhat older woman from the country. NO way would this fly!
Post # 15
@redherring – Great point! My Mom and Future Mother-In-Law were invited to my first bachelorette party. I was trying to avoid having one since I got married on an island, but NO! my friends called ahead and made arrangements for the entertainment staff to do a striptease for my bachelorette party. Thank god my FI’s Mom did not come but my Mom did, not knowing what was happening and it was not good. My friends coerced my Mom into dancing with the stripper!!! Bad, VERY BAD!!! THank God I do not have to worry about that this time around!
Post # 16
@arizonabride – Oh God. There are images that, once seen, can never be unseen.