- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
So this morning I was reading Dear Prudence (one of my vices) and saw a letter from a Husband about his new wife going bridezilla during the wedding planning.
Q. My New Wife, the Former Bridezilla: I just got married a few weeks ago. When we opened our wedding gifts, my wife was startled to find a book on bridal etiquette. The book came in a package enclosed with no name, just a note saying, “For next time, you might need this.”
Inside the book, there were things highlighted that my wife should have done, like paying for the rehearsal dinner and sending thank-you cards. My wife is FURIOUS. She knows it must be one of her close friends, because some of the things that were highlighted in the book were things that only our close friends and family knew. She’s on the warpath.
Here’s the catch—I know exactly who sent the book. It was one of her bridesmaids, in fact it was her “best friend.” I am torn between telling my wife and keeping it quiet, because truth be told, my wife was the DEFINITION of a bridezilla when planning out our wedding, and I felt bad for her attendants. There were times when even I was doubting our relationship. The girl who sent the book obviously has no intention of telling my wife, but I don’t really WANT to tell her either. I want her to think about how crappily she treated her friends and family, including her new in-laws. Am I obligated to tell my wife about her “friend?”
A: Your wife may be on the warpath, but I wonder if you’re on the divorce path, given the revelations about her character. I’ve often wondered what the grooms are thinking when they see their beloved turn into a demanding shrew because it’s “her” (never “our”) day. If you truly are going to build a life together, the conversation you need to have is not about who sent the book but why the book was sent. You can agree it was an insulting, underhanded thing to do (and her best friend should have spoken up, not sent the book). But then you need to segue into, “Honey, I know planning a wedding can be very stressful, but I think you actually do need to make amends to some people for the way you treated them.” Sure, she’ll probably respond badly, but if she can’t eventually calm down and look at her behavior, if she goes on the warpath against you, you really need to think about who you married.
Now after reading this, I was a little shocked, was she really so bad that a (hopefully former) friend felt the need to send her an etiquette book for her next wedding? With highlights? And no one addressed any of her attitude beforehand? Granted I don’t think anything allows a bride to go crazy and be super demanding of everyone in the pursuit of ‘her’ perfect day, but I think this reaction was worse than anyone could have deserved.
What do you ladies think?