(Closed) OH NO SHE DIDNT !! Get a load of this bees…..

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 62
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mzsimmons: OMG unbelieveable!!! I am so sorry you have to deal with that. Greedy Granny outta control!

Post # 63
Member
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

:P. Your wedding will be earlier, so that’s good at least! I bet your family won’t really care all that much about selfish granny’s wedding, they’ll probably even leave. The good side is that you come out looking like the rational adult in this situation at least. 😛 Your granny’s super selfish, though Cry.

Post # 64
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

OMG, I cant believe her.The nerve of some people I tell you!!Sometimes relatives are worse than strangers…You are her granddaughter for Crying out loud..You hold your ground..When she comes on the trip I would just ignore her and carry on with my wedding.If your other relatives ask, tell them the truth…I will keep you in my prayers and remember you are special and its your moment dont let her steal your joy…

Post # 65
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I was cold to her Grandma, as I explained on the phone, I was on hold and I needed to get back to that call before I lost my place in line.


If I was made that she was getting married in Jamaica “that was my problem”. (thats right, she said that) She also said that she did not have time for childish games Some would say that trying to piggyback your event on top of mine is a bit childish, but I really don’t care.  

and that she already paid for her trip and she doesnt have to do any activities with my group because she has already been there. Um, okay?  Don’t feel like you are obligated to attend any of my group’s activities, you have been there and that is fine.  We will have no problem enjoying ourselves.

She also stated that her wedding would be on Monday and she has asked some friends to come down and be a witness for her Good.  If I don’t see you, I hope you have good time!

 

Personally I’d be tempted to show up at her next birthday party with my own cake and decide to celebrate my birthday as well.

Post # 66
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Dude-I feel so bad for you!! Let’s just hope she doesn’t get both of you matching nighties!! 

Post # 67
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

HAHA edgypeanuts with the birthday cake.

 

You are stronger than me. I would have already called and flipped out on her, like straight snapped.

I wish you luck with this situation. I cannot fathom someone being so selfish as this.

Post # 69
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

Can another family member intervene on your behalf?

Post # 70
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say that while you really were on hold, you do feel a little hurt by her decision to get married the same time as you. You do appreciate her getting married after your wedding and having her own friends to witness, but that it is your big day and you feel like she is trying to steal the spotlight. I would stress that you love her and that you want her to be there for you on your big day and that amidst planning and being excited about her own wedding may take her attention away from yours?

 

Good luck. I am sorry she is being so crazy. I would also do as Fitzly says and have someone intervene – someone with a lot of gumption!

Post # 71
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have a crazy mom so I know how this is.

I got engaged last Dec to Darling Husband and within two weeks of my engagement my mom announced she had suddenly decided to get engaged to her old highschool bf and was kinda hoping for the same thing your gran is wanting.  I shot it down so quickly it wasn’t funny.

It is time for FAMILY INTERVENTION asap.  Your mom or dad (whoever is gran’s kid) needs to chime in on this one as Imho she is “granzilla” now.

She didn’t ever ASK for your thoughts and even though she says she is not going to interfere w/your wedding she WILL.  In one way or another.

She is using and hijacking your wedding for her getting A FREE wedding and is using it as a way to bogart the guest list too.  I have heard of a friend of mine who had their mom try to announce she was getting married during a pre-scheduled family reunion, which would not only 1)allow her guests to magically be there during her wedding but also 2)lower costs for her too but it didn’t go down either.

Do not let her ruin your day and her “secret” isn’t a secret since she also called YOUR planner in Jamaica and is trying to hatch her secret (and imho stupid) plan without your blessing.

I’d call the planner asap and let her know how you feel and get the family to intervene right now.  Trust me, nobody is going to take gran’s side on this one.  I think Granzilla owes you a huge apology, and needs to realize a destination wedding isn’t time to hijack a wedding and plan their own just because it’s free (she is there after all to attend YOUR wedding right?) and because their guests are there and b/c it’s cheaper for them.

I call it like I see it.  stop granzilla now.  Many times I take the side of the encore bride (since I was just one last month) but not at all in this case in any way.

Post # 72
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well, actually this sounds like good news. Her wedding is a day or two *after* yours right? In that case, it won’t be taking anything from you and it should be fine. You can ignore the whole thing if you want.

Am I misunderstanding the timing? Because if I’m not, then I really think this is resolved.

Post # 73
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well she will take some events from her spotlight as a bride in an inappropriate manner (imagine the rehearsal dinner, any outings, and the details such as location of wedding and reception especially if it is at same resort). 

How would granzilla have the rehearsal dinner?  Or would she use the “coincidence” her guests are already there and dining at the bride’s (her grand daughter’s)rehearsal dinner?  Where would her wedding be?  If it is at same resort, it could be even in the same spot.

I’m all for sharing and caring for most siutations, but this is a recipe for disaster imho.  Even if it is a few days later, because there will be already hurt feelings to begin with before even one guest arrives.  Not the place or time for any family issue to happen. 

If the bride suggested this, then I’d think it was fine.  Then ok for the sharing and caring, but since it never was something the bride wanted, I don’t think it’s ok even a few days later. 

Post # 74
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I really don’t see where a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are going to be necessary for the grandmother. I’m guessing she has no bridal party, just the witnesses. So there’s really nothing to rehearse. A destonation wedding can be an extremely simple thing without all the pre-wedding events and such that we’re all used to. Trust me, I’ve done it.

Even if she does have an event before her wedding, it would be on Sunday, the day after this poster’s wedding. And also the day before hers.

Seriously, you’ve said it can’t be changed and granny won’t listen to reason. So find a few positives (like the timing) and then let go. Stressing and being upset isn’t going to change it and it isn’t going to make you feel any better. That’s all I’m saying. No, I don’t think the grandmother is right, but if you can’t change it then it’s better for your own sanity to find a way to roll with the punches.

You still have my sympathy, and I can’t imagine how much it sucks. I’m just trying to suggest a way to deal with what seems to be the inevitable.

Post # 75
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would ask her if she could just wait, till after. Not while your family and Fiance are enjoying your moment. Obvisously if this is her 4th wedding, she shoud be practically a pro, and should be able to make other plans. If you don’t say something to her, your going to give yourself an ulcer being upset and let down be her.

Post # 76
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy

Wow, this is so unbelievable!  Are there any updates?  I don’t know if there is anything you can do since it sounds like she is beyond reason.  Wishing you all the best!

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