(Closed) Oh No She Didn't!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I would answer… “how unthankful you are!”

and not give her the honeymoon, she can pay for it herself… she sounds spoiled…

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

How very ungrateful of her to say that.  If someone wanted to send me on a trip I’d smile, thank them, and enjoy my honeymoon.

To clarify- I was once sent on a one year, all expenses paid ‘vacation’ to a hot sunny location, however Uncle Sam was the one sending me and there was plenty of sand in Afghanistan but not one single beach.  That is just about the only type of free vacation I would turn down.

That bride has what I like to call a first world problem.

Post # 6
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It’s not wrong that they envision their honeymoon a specific way; what’s wrong is how they handled it.

If they’re set on honeymooning in Ireland, they need to pay for it themselves. They shouldn’t feel obligated to go to Mexico on their honeymoon if it’s not what they wanted, but they should have profusely thanked your aunt anyway and turned it down gracefully (“you’re already doing so much for us; we couldn’t possibly accept this too,” etc.)

Basically, the offer of a honeymoon was a gift. They can accept or decline, but they should NOT push the gift-giver into changing the gift.

Post # 7
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Well she is “entitled”. She should pay for her honeymoon herself.

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I’m going to agree that the way she worded her reply (if that’s really how she worded it) was ungracious – but it’s also a little weird that the aunt is trying to pick the honeymoon location for them (instead of, say, gifting them a set amount of money toward the honeymoon).

Is it because she has a good deal (a Groupon/Living Social offer or something, maybe?) specifically for somewhere in Mexico? If that’s the case, she could approach the couple and say, “I have this deal, would you like to use it for your honeymoon?” But yeah, if a relative or a future in-law came to me and said, “I’m buying you guys a honeymoon! You’re going to (place),” I would definitely be taken aback, and possibly a little resentful. (ETA: you should still respond graciously, of course, and she clearly didn’t, but I think both aunt & uncle and the bride-to-be are partly in the wrong here.)

Think of it this way: plenty of brides have really specific ideas of what they would like for the wedding, and they feel like their plans get hijacked if Mom or Future Mother-In-Law steps in to say, “We have to do X, it’s got to be this way …” Well, the same can be true for the honeymoon. If I’ve always dreamed of traveling to X with my new husband, and maybe I’m not really excited about Y or I’ve already been there or maybe I just never really though about going there – I’d be annoyed to be told, “I’m sending you to Y for your honeymoon,” without having been consulted about it first.

Post # 9
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

wow shes very ungrateful person! 

Post # 10
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Nona99:  I would tell her to enjoy her honeymoon in Ireland and not give them one more cent….I mean not. a. single. cent. That’s just rude.

Post # 11
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She’s stupid. Take the free honeymoon to Mexico now, and pay your own way to Ireland later!

Post # 12
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would tell her to pay for her own honeymoon then!!!! Spoiled!

Post # 14
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would say, you should think about how you sound when someone is offering you something!!

Post # 15
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@KCKnd2:  Agreed.

ETA: What if you’ve always wanted to walk down the aisle in a certain type of wedding dress, and someone decides to buy you your dress as a gift but they choose a style that you hate? You shouldn’t be obligated to wear it, you should let the person know the gesture was appreciated but buy your own dress.

Post # 16
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

While I agree that if someone else is paying for a honeymoon you should be grateful, I do want to note that Mexico has had a lot of dangerous drug cartel activity lately. I personally would not want to go to Mexico for safety reasons.

But I do not know that this was the bride’s rationale…If that was the case, she should clarify. Perhaps she is ungrateful… 

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