(Closed) Oh, no…another bride with MOH issues :-( (rant…long.)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you need to try to keep the peace for as long as you can while you are going through the wedding.  I agree that you are probably right and she doesn’t see what an inconvience it is to you, but you need to just figure out how to get her to buy her Maid/Matron of Honor dress.  Why are you letting her pick?  Why can’t you just tell her what dress to buy? 

Post # 4
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you need to lay down the groundwork for her participation in the wedding.  Tell her she needs to have purchased her dress by [X] date.  Let her know that failing to do so means she cannot participate in the wedding because your other BMs need to order their dresses too and she is holding them up!  Honestly, she is cutting it VERY close and since she’s already married, she should KNOW that!!  Give her a date and stick to it.  If she hasn’t purchased a dress tell her that you love her to pieces, but she if she can’t get that done, you can’t penalize the other BMs and you’re going to have [so n so] as a Maid/Matron of Honor instead.  Maybe even give her the out (she’s got a lot on her plate, new baby, expenses, blah blah blah).  But really, she sounds…selfish.  Just REALLY selfish.

For the visit, I think you should just bluntly explain that there is a big difference between 2 people in a 2bed 1 BR flat and FIVE people.  If she cannot acomodate YOUR schedule, then YOU cannot acomodate HER selfishness.  It has nothing to do with your Fiance, she is being unreasonable.

Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like she’s a dramaqueen.  She’ll be A LOT to handle all the way through the wedding!!

Post # 5
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you need to set it out clearly for your MOH- give her a specific guideline for getting a dress and remind her that dresses can be altered if/when she loses weight.  Tell her she must have it by XX date and offer to make another shopping date with her or look online (I’m assuming you’re going off the rack instead of a bridal shop right?).  Have your bridemaids get their dresses.  It’s silly that they’re waiting on her- give them guidelines as well or take them shopping and get it done. 

You’re letting your Maid/Matron of Honor have a lot of control over the situation, probably because you want to be nice and you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, but it’s your wedding, and it’s coming up SOON, you don’t have a lot of time left for tip-toeing around the issue. 


Post # 6
36 posts
  • Wedding: December 2009

Just remember that this day is all about you. It is one of the only times in your life that can truely be the case. If she cant understand that then she needs to reasses what being a real friends means. Life is to short for people to push you around, and for you to be unhappy because of it. You are an adult, so you should be treated like one.

If she cant do the job she agreed to do she needs to go. Put the ball in her court, not yours. Give her some deadlines and some rules. If she cant do that then you know how much a friend she is to you.

Tuff love.

As for the house thing, that isnt cool. Let her know that, its your house, your rules. Again if she cant respect you then that isnt a friend that you want around.


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