(Closed) OH the sister in law….ughs

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Do about what, exactly?  From your own post, this girl hasn’t done anything to you – you’re just angry she got engaged, married and pregnant before you.  Let it go. 

Post # 4
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not saying this in a mean light by no means…but why do you care what she does?  I mean I would totally understand if you were scared she would act out or cause a scene…but just stare off into space?  So what? 

I totally understand being upset she’s getting the attention of the family, but she had the first grandchild and she lives with your SO’s parents…naturally they are going to be closer to her and the child. 

I think probably the best thing to do in this situation is to let go of the hurt and jealous feelings, and move on with y’alls life/marriage/professional situation.

I’m not trying to be harsh, I just think that sometimes we get to close to situations sometimes to see.  And obviously there might be more to this than what’s in your post as well.

Either way good luck!

Post # 5
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

What are you asking for advice on? You hate this girl even though she’s done nothing to you. I agree that it sounds like you’re jealous. Just minimize contact, I guess.

Post # 6
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i feel sorry for this girl.  i’m sure a shotgun wedding and living with her in-laws wasn’t her dream plan.  i’d try and be a shoulder for her.

Post # 7
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You Future Sister-In-Law does have a job…she has a baby. Are you suggesting that all stay at home mothers are useless?

Other than smoking while nursing, I don’t see what she has done to offend you so much. Your post radiates a lot of jealousy and resentment and it sounds like your future in-laws have picked up on it and don’t like it. For the sake of family harmony, you’re going to have to be a little more charitable. When you get pregnant, I’m sure there will be a big fuss over you too. Just try to focus on your own life and happiness and don’t let your bitterness that someone managed to marry and procreate before you ruin your life.

Post # 8
3943 posts
Honey bee

Your Future Mother-In-Law was right-you should stay out of it.

I’m not sureprised she is quiet and reserved around you…you sound extremely judgemental and rude.

Post # 9
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

hate is a strong word… I dont really get this either… she doesnt sound like a horrible person to me… I think you never gave her a chance, and the fact is that your step brother CHOSE her… so why are you placing all this blame on her only, it’s half him too.  Besides, I truly dont see anything wrong with her getting married and having a baby first, and her living with the inlaws is their decision… I think you need to reread your post, and maybe you will see what everyone is saying, it does sound like jealousy issues to me, sorry.

Post # 10
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m not quite sure why you complained to your Future Mother-In-Law.  What exactly were you looking for?  Did you think she was going to trash talk the mother of her grandchild?

I’m sure it’s not fun to feel like she’s come in and stolen your special role in the family.  But instead of trying to compete with her, maybe try to get to know her and see her as a friend.  If nothing else, she’s likely going to be a part of your life in some way forever, so you may as well try to figure out a way to at least tolerate, if not get along with her.

Post # 11
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like your SIL is shy and not in the best situation. I highly doubt she had in her mind that she’d come in and steal your thunder. The “only” negative thing I see is her smoking while breastfeeding/smoking aroudn the baby.

It just sounds like you are jealous that she had the “first grandchild” and took you special spot away.

Have you tried to talk to her? Befriend her? Or have you just written her off as “too quiet and boring” from the start?

I would think it would be REALLY hard for her to come into this kind of situation especially with the hostility she’s probably picking up on from you.

Post # 12
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ll have to agree with the others-I don’t see what she has specifically done to you. It just seems like you are annoyed that she lives with your MIL? It sucks that you don’t get to have the first grandchild but other than that I can’t really see a reason for you to be too upset.

Post # 13
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

So, far, the only thing I see that she’s done is smoke/drink when nursing a baby…I don’t know if drinking is bad, but smoking definitely isn’t cool.  As for that, what exactly has she done?  It almost sounds like you more so have a chip on your shoulder because she stole the spotlight and become the first to get married and have a baby….which is just life.  There’s no rule out there that specifies who gets married first or has a baby first…She may be quiet and shy, and if your words, boring…but…maybe she thinks you’re loud, obnoxious and too wild.  I’m totally not saying you are, I’m just saying, don’t hate on someone because they are too quiet & shy because you don’t know…maybe she doesn’t like your personality.  I personally tend to be on the quiet/shy side when I’m around a group of people.  I HATE being around large groups because I tend to get really jittery/anxious/feel clostrophic.  Thankfully I have a great group of family/friends that are accepting and understanding when I do have to be around groups.  And you can ask anyone that I’m close to and they will tell you I’m one of the most outgoing people they know….once they get to know me.  And honestly, it doesn’t sound like you have created a welcoming environment for her to come out of her shell.  Even if you haven’t vocally expressed your dislike for her, she probably senses it.

Post # 14
2790 posts
Sugar bee

You sound totally jealous of this girl. What has she actually done but be different than you and not be outgoing? Sounds like your pissed off because she got married and pregnant before you and your mad because her in-laws are giving her more attention than you. I think you need to get over and quit being so cold towards her. She has a child who will one day be your niece or nephew. Your mother-in-law is right. Yoi do need to mind your own business because it does not effect you how they raise their children.

Post # 15
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is this for real?? If so, please just calm down and focus on yourself and your Fiance.

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