(Closed) “Oh, you have plenty of time”

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just think that people like to judge you when you present yourself as a bride-to-be. I started seriously planning my wedding with 5 months to spare and I thought that was fine, but all I got from vendors and sales people was this weird guilt trip and shock about how “last minute” I was doing everything. I also sensed this judgey attitude when I told people my dress budget (laughably low at $1000 apparently!), that we are doing it at a cheesy wedding hall (not indie enough), that my fiance’s aunt is marrying us and not a minister (“Is that even going to be legal??”). Can you tell that I’m getting sick of wedding planning?

I think you are awesome for starting to plan one year out and knowing your mind, and anyway I actually don’t think that starting to plan a year ahead of time is that weird at all.

Post # 20
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am also planning way a head… we have our rings and a lot done.  Today I was so glad I am a head of time….I went to pick up my dress and there was pink coloring along the length of my strap….urggg…..they are replacing it but I can only imagine how stressful it would be if I felt under the gun.

Post # 21
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I totally understand where you are coming from.

I have been told that too. If a vendor doesn’t want my business because “oh dear, you have plenty of time.”, I just move on to the next vendor that does want my business. I have all of my vendors booked and the majority of my DIY stuff done because I am not a procrastinator and I too love to cross things off of my list.

Try not to get discouraged, and just move on the next vendor that will be happy to help you. It might be a tough go, but if they want your business, they will accommodate you now. I got a lot of good deals because I booked early. I am paying 2009 prices for the most of my vendors and I am locked in. The other small majority of vendors I am paying 2010 prices.

Starting your planning a year in advance should be considered a good thing. It frustrates me to no end when brides wait until the last second and then complain because they can’t get what they want because they waited too long.

Post # 22
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I totally agree with you.  The moment my Fiance and I had gotten engaged, I went to work.  Buy the time January rolled around, I had my Venue, DJ, Florist, Limo, Make-up Artist and all the ‘big ticket’ items chosen and done.  This allowed me to relax for a little bit and stress over the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and etc.  And now (with 4.5 months to go) I’m working on the escort cards, programs, cardbox and menu (all the little stuff).  People dont seem to realize that yeh here’s ‘plenty of time’, but do they realize during that ‘plenty of time’ how many projects can build up for you to finish?!  And yes, I agree with Melissa, I also lied my face off when I ordered my wedding dress and gave them a date 2 months earlier than my actual wedding date.  No problemo.. my dress is here now, and I told them my date changed.  heehee. 

Honestly its a good idea to start booking early, because a few weeks after I had contacted my vendors for my date, right before we signed contract, the vendors called me to let me know there were other qouples who were inquiring about the same date.  And this was a year in advance!!!!

Post # 24
1102 posts
Bumble bee

I started planning a year in advance (we had a 13 month engagement)…it meant I really didn’t have last minute stresses at all. I booked chair covers in February for a December wedding and I would have been cranky if someone tried to talk me out of it for the single reason of having plenty of time. WHO CARES. Seriously, it was just one more thing I didn’t have to think about. Why would you organise your planning so everything had to be done in a single two month period? Seems silly to me, so I think you’re perfectly alright ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 25
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My wedding is in 3 months and I still hear this from people! Especially my fiance who hasn’t even had a tux consultation yet, and my Maid of Honor who hasn’t purchased her dress! (I’ve been engaged since last December too.)

I’m with you, I like to check things off my list.

Post # 26
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We’re really lucky – our venue reps were so excited that we looked about two years in advance of our date. But places book up fast here, and they just had to turn down a bunch of people who were looking only a year in advance. 

I’ve been getting this mostly from family. It’s so irritating! What’s wrong with getting things done early? Everyone is different, and this is what works for us. People have told me this all my life – when I applied to university early admission and accepted, when we started dating seriously young, etc. I get that some people change their minds, but saying something is not going to change how I live my life! Some people are just planners. Don’t listen to naysayers. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 27
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have a close to 20 month engagement and we booked vendors nice and early.  For the majority of people, I got “oh, you are so early” comment, which came along with “you’ll have plently of time.”  It’s now less than 9 months away – go with your gut- time flies!!!  We ended up with a bunch of vendors whom we booked early and as someone above pointed out, got either 2009 or 2010 pricings!  And if vendors are telling you, “you have plenty of time, come back later.”  I normally take that as code as they aren’t interested – find someone who is excited about your wedding!  and work with them instead. ๐Ÿ™‚  I recently met with a baker, who told me “i had plenty of time” and seemed disinterested – the cool thing is, we have “plenty of time”, so “next baker please”!  And interestingly enough, I found another baker who is excited and full of ideas!

Post # 28
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m the same way. I have about 75% of my planning done and will only have to finalize a few things. I had one person get a “tone” with me when I inquired about their services b/c she thought it was too early, I kindly told her that I had additional phone appointments that same day and if it was too early for her that meant its too late for me.

Post # 30
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I planned my wedding very soon after getting engaged in December 08, for October 2010… i got that comment ALL THE TIME!! from family, friends, vendors etc… but now that we are 3 months out, my family and in laws are in awe and commenting about how fun this all is now, because nobody is stressing out, things are done, or times set to get them done, and how everyone can just enjoy, compared to our siblings weddings!!

The only issue I had with pricing was florist… she gave me an estimate, but said that because flower costs change each year based on the growing seasons etc, she could not guarantee the prices… but I was still able to see she was more reasonably priced than others… and in the end, we had our meeting with her last month and prices went DOWN from her estimate, which is always a bonus ๐Ÿ™‚

just do it!!! if they dont want to deal with you, find another ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 31
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I got estimates for ALL possible venders (and few of each) so that I could create a realistic budget for my wedding and I did not have anyone say this or if I did I didn’t take it negatively.

I usually just told them upfront. I am trying to plan my budget for my wedding next August can I get a quote for X, Y, Z. They all responded to this really really well. I usually didn’t book the vendors until a little while after that.

I am sorry you feel like you are being brushed off. Just be assertive and you will get what you need!

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