(Closed) ok, i have to ask this board…

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
  • poll: would you be willing to miss Passover one year to attend a super close friend's destination wedding?
    yes : (46 votes)
    67 %
    no : (16 votes)
    23 %
    other - explain below : (7 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I am not Jewish; however, I do believe that it would depend on the persons commitment to their faith. If they are extremely devoted to their faith, and demonstrate that with how they live their daily lives, then I say that it would be okay for them to miss the wedding. I am not saying I wouldn’t be hurt, because I would be, but I would also understand the why, and not be mad at them. If they aren’t extremely devoted to their faith in their daily life, then I would not think that it would be okay to miss the wedding, and I would be mad at them, and probably not be their friend anymore.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5890 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i’m jewish, and it would, as you mentioned, certainly depend on the closeness of the relationship.  we usually host our own passover and it is a big deal to us, but i would move my seder to one of the other nights.  however, if it were my family hosting (which they always do, but since i live on a different coast now we do our own), this would be trickier since i would risk offending the parentals and rest of the fam.  long story short, i would for a close friend, particularly if i am hosting and have the power to change the date.  that being said, i totally understand why someone wouldn’t.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5890 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    oh, just read that this is a destination wedding.  that definitely makes things trickier as i might not simply be able to move the seder to another night of passover if i’m out of town…

    Post # 8
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m Jewish. Not very religous, but I go to my good friend’s seder every year; it’s a 10-year-old tradition by now.

    But I would definitely go to a close friend’s Destination Wedding.  It’s easier for me than for some because I don’t keep kosher for Passover.  And I would DEFINITELY do it if I could do First Night Seder and only miss Second Night.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Honestly, I wouldn’t.  I am not the most religious person out there, but my family is and I always spend the Seder with them.  Passover is a really important holiday in the religion and is actually one of the most celebrated, so even if someone isn’t religious in other aspects, chances are they celebrate Passover; it would be like faulting someone for not going to a wedding over Christmas if they don’t attend mass every week.  Now, if the wedding fell during chol hamoad or the non-seder days/nights, I might consider it, but it would be so hard to actually keep the holiday… So, unfortunately, I don’t think I would be able to attend.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1999

    @dynamic_duo:  I am Catholic, but do not attend mass regularly.  I believe in God, am faithful in my beliefs, and pray regularly.  I voted “yes” because I feel that a wedding is a once in a lifetime event.  I, personally, would not want to miss out on such a wonderful event for a close friend.  I might suggest that the individual partake in what they could (fasting), possibly readjust the Sedar schedule, and ask for forgiveness.  However, I would respect the individual if they were not able if he/she was very holy because it is the most signifcant Jewish holiday. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @dynamic_duo: Not, I’m not saying you are.  I just wanted to put that input it, because it really isn’t as easy to just change the Seder, or celebrate it on a different day.  Also, I am honestly not so surprised the vote is showing the way it is; WB, while I love it, has never struck me as a place very observant people post on.  I know this must be hard though.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @dynamic_duo:

    I understand your feeling that way, but for some people it would be like being asked to miss Christmas or Thanksgiving. It’s a very family-centered holiday. 

    And, if she is observant, it would be pretty much impossible to keep kosher for passover in Jamaica (I think that’s where your wedding is?).  For an observant Jew, that would be a dealbreaker.

    The topic ‘ok, i have to ask this board…’ is closed to new replies.

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