(Closed) Ok I will throw this out there.. I’m sure to be RIPPED to shreds..

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

How much do you need?

Who’s calling you a loser? you could uninvite those people right there…maybe it’ll save you some $.

Ask a family member or friend for a loan? 

Cut the vendors you really don’t need…even if you lose the deposit is better than owing what you don’t have?

CUT the chair covers!!! 

Post # 4
67 posts
Worker bee

maybe make some menu changes?  can you register for monetary gifts and phrase it apropriately?  that way you could get a loan and then pay off some of it with the wedding gift money?  definitely ask your parents if they can give you a loan (you have two sets theoretically) or ask your family that they pitch in for the vendor as your wedding gift.  yeah the chair covers could save you anywhere from 200-500 dollars.  i hope it works out for you!  cheer up – there have been "minimalist" wedings that were very beautiful and meaningful.

Post # 5
228 posts
Helper bee

CBride, sorry to hear about your troubles- no one should be calling you or your fiance losers! 

 I don’t actually know how wedding sponsorships work, but if they’re like any other kind of sponsorships, they might be hard to find, and take a long time to finalize, so it might not be wise to count on something like that.  More likely you will have to work with what you have.

I don’t know how much you still owe your vendors, or how much you would stand to lose by cancelling, but it sounds like something drastic may have to be done.  If you really have your heart set on something fancy, it might be best to cancel/postpone until your financial situation is better.  Yes, you’ll lose deposits but it will be better than spending money you don’t have.  And your guests will lost their money, but they will understand.

If you think you will be happy with a more budget affair, consider cancelling some vendors, like a DJ, or cutting catering.  Again, I don’t know what your plans are, or how much you’d be willing to trim.  Things like chair covers and favors shouldn’t really still be in the picture if you are worrying about paying your vendors in the first place.

 Anyway, good luck, and good wishes!

(Sorry this was bugging me: loose=not tight, lose=to deprived of.  Ie., losers, lose your deposits)

Post # 6
2 posts

Why don’t you consider a cocktail reception rather than a full meal? If you’re offering a bar at your reception, limit it to wine and beer. You could also go to your local liquor store and talk to the owner- see if they would consider giving you a deal on the alcohol. It’s all worth a shot… I hate to say I agree with the ladies- chair covers shouldn’t even be a question at this point if you’re worried about paying vendors. Are you going on a honeymoon? You can always postpone that too…best of luck..

Post # 7
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

All the pp have really great suggestions. Finding a sponsor might stress you out even more, not only the search itself, but the fact that they’ll probably want to change a lot of things around (alter the color scheme, meal, etc.)

Good luck. That sounds so stressful – I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with all of that. It might help to let your Fiance know how overwhelmed you feel…

Post # 10
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

A cocktail wedding might be your best bet! If you can’t come up with $4000 on your own in two months PLEASE don’t keep hoping that it’ll just fall from the sky!

cut, cut, cut!

Do you have a photographer? Reduce his hours. Have friends take lots of pics.

Wedding cake? switch to cupcakes.

DJ? switch to less time, less lights, no lights….ipod.

3 course meal? Make it two…use cupcakes as dessert

Fish, steak or chicken? feed everyone chicken 

Limo? have your friend drive you.

Can you return your favors? can you return anything?

finally…TALK TO YOUR Fiance…he might have ideas and you need the support…that’s why have each other…it’s also his wedding! 


Post # 11
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008 - United Methodist Cathedral & historic downtown hotel in Cleveland

First of all, sunk costs are sunk costs.  Don’t think about the money that you have already put into deposits.  If you put down an $800 deposit, and have another $3000 to put in, then bailing on the contract will save you $3000.

You could also advertise that you have a wedding for sale, and try to get another bride to book the venue(s) that you have if you wanted to get your deposite back.

If guests have already arranged for travel, then you do need to do something for them.

It is possible to have a very nice wedding for not much money.  Would you be averse to having a picnic in the park, with family helping to pitchi in?  Guests would be fed, and even if you bail on your original reception/ceremony venue, you would probably save money from what you still have to pay.  

Cut out the alchohol.  Cut out the chair covers.  Cut out fancy table linens.  

If that sounds unappealing, then reduce your everyday budget.  Cable TV?  Get rid of it until after the wedding.  That’ll save you at least $40-200, depending on the package.  Cell phone plan?  Cut back your minutes/texting/etc.   Car insurance?  It might be worth it to reduce your coverage (but definitely check into the pros/cons of this.)  If you have 2 cars, try and use only the one with better gas mileage.  Or better yet, walk/bike/use public transport if it is an option in your area.  Turn off the AC (especially when you’re not at home.)  Think about selling unused items at a yard sale or on Ebay- Mrs. Tulip just blogged about it yesterday.  

Don’t buy anything else at the store- no clothes, shoes, etc.  Stop going out to eat and make meals at home (which you should have time to do!)  Make enough for leftovers so that you have something to eat for lucnh without going out.  And if you are a regular coffee drinker, make it at home instead of Starbucks. 

You might also want to think about working in retail/waitressing to earn a little bit extra to help out.  

If you work really hard at reducing your unnecessary costs (the things you need vs. the things you want), I think it is totally possible to save the money you need if you are willing to make some lifestyle changes.

Post # 12
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

V has some great ideas. You can make this work. It might not be perfect right now, but it will be perfect the day of. As far as people losing money in your cancel, that’s not necessarily true. Non-refundable tickets can me changed for a fee most times and they can cancel their hotels. Have a small wedding at your house or out in a park. Depending on where you live, you could get married at city hall (some are even pretty) and then have everybody go out to lunch or dinner. People will understand. It’s just one day, don’t let it ruin your life. You’ll get through it and you’ll be married!

Post # 13
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

On the subject of food and cake—decreasing meal options (hors d’oeuvres and cocktails instead of a full dinner) would probably help on the food budget.

Also, if you’ve not spent a lot of money on a wedding cake, grocery store bakeries can craft beautiful, delicious cakes for dramatically less than a wedding bakery. You could get three single-tier cakes from the grocery store and have a cake spread instead of the traditional tall wedding cake. See if friends and relatives have cake stands you can borrow. If you’re wanting to decorate them on the cheap beyond what the grocery store bakery can do, buy fresh flowers the day before and decorate the tops of the cake. Once they’re out of their boxes no one will know the difference and this could save you hundreds of dollars.

Post # 14
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Waitressing!!  You say that you are looking for a job – not sure what industry you are in, but now may not be the time to look for a career job – but a money job.  Being a waitress at a busy place that sells alcohol (seriously, even an Applebees will work) brings in a lot of cash quickly.  You should be able to average a minimum of $10 an hour in wages and tips at a busy place, and that will get you very close to $4k in 2 months time.  Plus, you would wait tables on nights and weekends, so you would have your days to work on wedding stuff (and find ways to cut costs) and look for a job in whatever career you are in.  Do not waste your time trying to get your weddding sponsored – that is near impossible to get – just go get a job, any job, that will pay you a minimum of $10 an hour, and work 40 hours a week until the wedding and you’ll be fine.  Good luck.  (Other things I’ve done when I’m strapped for cash – I’m a grad student – is secret shopping, babysitting, and tutoring).

Post # 15
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would check your contracts – many of mine have caluses that say the final balance is due on x date, but if not paid by then they will charge interest on the balance. So maybe you could contact your vendors and work out a payment plan with them. Say, I can pay you the remaining balance in 3 monthly installments following the wedding. With the bad economy, I think vendors would be happier to receive a delayed payment in full than receive nothing because you had to cancel them.

Post # 16
40 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

A few thoughts …

Check at local community centers or colleges for new vendors. You may be able to find photography students, musicians, bakers, even hair stylists, who will work waaaaay cheaper than paying the remainder of a vendor fee.

Register at a few temp agencies. You should be able to get work fairly quickly (banquest servers, clerical, etc) while you continue to find something permanent.

Talk with your fiance! He needs to know how you feel.

Stop looking at any wedding TV shows, magazines, and websites (except the Bee of course!). I find that those things really get me down, because I get wrapped up in what I’m not or can’t do. Focus on what you CAN do – and it sounds like you’re already doing a lot.

Have you fiance meet you half-way down the aisle and escort you the rest of the way up. My bro and SIL did this and it was incredibly sweet and touching. This way, he gets to see you coming down, but you also don’t have to walk alone.  

Out-of-town guests are coming because they love and support you two, NOT because they are expecting to be wined and dined. You can always create a (free) wedding website for any changes, then e-mail the link.

Additionally, I wanted to offer some support. I don’t understand how you all could be losers. Any time two people want to make a formal commitment, the LAST thing they are are losers, cheap, immoral, etc. Ultimately this is about you and your fiance being in love and wanting to be together. THAT’s what matters – and the day will be perfect because you all will be together.

Best of luck!

The topic ‘Ok I will throw this out there.. I’m sure to be RIPPED to shreds..’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors