(Closed) Ok I will throw this out there.. I’m sure to be RIPPED to shreds..

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
40 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

p.s. – sorry if any of that came off short. I had just finished when my computer decided to erase my post … my computer was in grave danger of being thrown across the room (=

Post # 18
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Your location on profile says Midwest — I don’t know where exactly that means, but I’m from MN and I have found that people in general and professional and sales people in particular tend to be very understanding and sympathetic compared to other parts of the country.

What I mean to say is, pick out the vendors that you’ve deposited with who seem the most nice, sympathetic, or easygoing. Then go to them and just explain what’s going on. Cry if you want to — it might help! Tell them that you understand the deposit is not refundable, but that you’d like to scale back to a lower grade of whatever service it is they offer. I don’t know, I’m a small woman, and I look about twelve, so my crying routine usually works — not everyone’s will. Sort of unorthodox, but it might help!

I hope that everything turns out for you — I’ve been working 3-4 days at a time at temp positions this summer, and my Fiance is working construction, so we know exactly how that cramped budget feels.

Post # 19
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I just want to say that anything you ever write here will be taken kindly and never think that anyone will "rip you to shreds"–I truly believe we are all like-minded people here–we all want to have and everyone else to have a wedding that will leave them with happy and lasting memories.  I agree with virtually everyone on this post–cut out as many frivolities as possible.  If you cut out the cake and do cupcakes, can you bake them yourself?  Expensive wedding dress?  Sell it on ebay and buy a simple white sheath from a department store for $100.  I say cut the reception all together and gather your guests at a park for a picnic–weddings do not have to be fancy to be beautiful.

remember, at the end of the day it’s about you and your future husband. So dry those eyes! and get to work on finding a job (there is no shame in working *anywhere* to pay your bills dear!)


best of luck and we’re always here to lend support! 

Post # 20
378 posts
Helper bee

I second to quit watching the wedding shows and reading the magazines. I have come to hate my dress (I’m three weeks out) because of the ones I see on Platinum Weddings. I don’t even know why I watch that show. One bride spent more on her bridal CAKE jewelry than we are on our entire wedding.

Pick up a waitressing job to earn some money at nights, that will absolutely help you out. Good luck! 

Post # 22
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this at all, let alone now. There was a post a few weeks ago about wedding sponsorships, but the site it linked to wasn’t very impressive and didn’t seem to have actually worked for anyone yet – it was brand new. 

Other than that, I don’t have much to add – the other posters have some great advice. Just wanted to lend a sympathetic ear. 

Post # 23
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Maybe you can get a lil more creative? I saw a bride post on ebay asking for $2.00 donations. And another bride auctioning a spot to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. LoL. If you don’t want to go that crazy, maybe just look and see if there are things around the house you can do with and sell on ebay or post on craigslist. Every penny counts!

Post # 24
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like it might be time to take out a loan… It seems like you’re doing everything possible to cut back on costs where you can. Maybe you could meet with a financial planner who can help you sort some of it out?

Post # 26
228 posts
Helper bee

If you’ve exhausted other avenues, maybe it really would be best to postpone/cancel.  Like another poster said, money in deposits is already lost- putting more money in won’t help.  Some vendors may also let you postpone without losing your deposit.

If you’re out of a job now, any additional money put towards the wedding is money that you might need later to pay the bills.

Is there a reason you *need* to be married now/soon?  If so, you could always do the legal/courthouse thing now, and a wedding later.

Whatever you do, don’t take out a loan, or go in to debt over this.  Especially if you don’t know when you would be able to pay it back.  A wedding isn’t worth a lifetime of ruined credit and money troubles.

Post # 27
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

if you’re in SF, and i’m available i’ll come take pics! I have an SLR but by no mean do i know how to use it well… but i’ll come snap as many as my card will take 🙂

Post # 28
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Have you tried temping?  I worked for a temp agency for years, and it put me through a lot of high school and college…

Post # 29
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

If you are unable to find a job, you may have to take out a loan.  $4k is not a huge amount….and you’d probably get that back as wedding gifts.  By no means would I suggest paying for your wedding by building debt, but I know the option of cancelling everything is not desirable.  I wouldn’t want to do it either.  You’d most likely lose everything you’ve put into it, and then you’d have to come up with it all over again.  I too completely understand the job thing – I lost my job the day I got back from my honeymoon.  And I busted my a** for them for years…..I hated the job anyway though.  But the job market is terrible right now, I know.

Post # 31
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

It sounds like you are going to have to postpone the wedding. I would ask your vendors if you just postpone and use the same vendors could you still get to use your deposit. That way you aren’t really losing any money. It doesn’t hurt to ask. It’s better than having to auction a spot in your wedding off on eBay. 

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