(Closed) OK I’m officially losing it!! VENT

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Why are some people such dinglebats?

Honestly? I think it’s time to be firm to the point of being a b*tch (for lack of a better term). You’ve been accomodating, but it’s time to put that foot down, and I’d put it down firmly. 

Again, so sorry ๐Ÿ™ At least it’ll be over soon?

Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Use your words. Not any mean words, just the word, “NO!” His brothers response of plus three is ridiculous and his mother wanting to bring a guest on top of her co workers and her husband is outrageous. Just say NO.

Post # 6
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t have much advice as to what I’d do with those crazy RSVPs – though I do think you should firmly put your foot down, you said GUEST – singular. Did you not?

But I do want to say, please please please try to enjoy it. I was so stressed myself that I was bawling my eyes out in the hotel the night before the wedding. I had the worst stomach ache from all the stress. Looking back I really wish I had just let go and enjoyed myself more. I wish I had been able to laugh and enjoy the company of my girlfriends that night before in the hotel. If there’s anything I would encourage, it’s just let go of some of the things that aren’t perfect and enjoy yourself. I wish I did. 

Post # 7
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m reading your post and wondering if I wrote and posted this in my sleep—thank god I am not the only one dealing with this! We haven’t even sent our invites yet and we’ve had mulitple fights with Fiance parents about the damn guest list. We keep trying to tell them that we want an intimate, personal wedding with people who are involved in OUR life there, but they just don’t seem to get it. We finally put our foot down and told them that they no longer have a say in ANYTHING related to our wedding and that we were only inviting the people we wanted, and they could accept it or not come! I know it’s frustrating, but just remember it is about YOU and your Fiance, no one else matters!! Hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

Oh no!!! This needs to stop ASAP! Tell them unless thy are willing to pay for these “unwanted guests” then they can’t come! Plain and simple. At our venue we are allowed over 50 but at the rate of $15 per extra guest. Pays for more linens,place settings,so on. We are paying for this ourselves too. NO means NO tell them!! GL and let us know what happens…

Post # 9
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

his married parents RSVPed with a plus one?? that’s outrageous.

Post # 10
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Date Twin ๐Ÿ™‚ I can understand! I am so weepy lately, everything (and i mean everything) makes me cry. I am pulling my hair out trying to get everything done and make sure we are within budget. Our guestlist/rsvp has been an overwhelming gong show! Im sorry i have no advice for you but at least i can say your not alone in this! They keep telling me the day will come and everything will work out…well ill believe when i see it LOL.

Post # 11
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Gawd, I’m so sorry that you’re stressing out so much with the guests!! I, too, don’t understand why people cant seem to figure out that its YOU and your FI’s WEDDING, not a frat party! I agree that you need to put your foot down! Theres no reason why your Fi’s parents are trying to bring +1’s! They are each others +1!!! GAHHHHHH

Again Im so sorry! I hope you can figure it out soon so you can relax and enjoy your last month before the wedding a little bit more!!

Post # 13
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel you! I am getting very similar reactions from people. It gets very annoying and I am trying my best not to freak out. I have my simple response to people (even people that have mentioned they didn’t receive their invitation….because you are not invited DUH!) I tell everyone the same thing, no one gets a plus one, and hopefully the singletons will meet someone at our wedding, and that’s that.

People keep bringing up the No children thing to me too, and I just keep telling them, sorry no children, it’s an adult event. I hope it gets better for you, and I hope it doesn’t get worse for me in the next few weeks ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Wow…my fiance and I just started to plan for the wedding and got our invitation list together…and I can totally imagine the frustration because almost everyone around me that have gotten married have experienced the same thing.
so…yeah, you’re not alone.

once I was told that when we make our guest list, we should really divide it into 3 parts…1/3 for FI’s parents, 1/3 for my parents, and 1/3 for our own frds..
when I heard that I was like “that…sucks…”

then I was told that parents often think that this is not a celebration of the kids, but a celebration of them being able to bring up their kids in a good way and now they’re moving on into adulthood and their own lives and we should celebrate for their efforts (PS. kinda talking about Chinese parents..so perhaps it’s more cultural than anything).

and the suggestion I received was “should do two parties, one for parents..and another one just for you and your friends”..

 

well..unfortunately my fiance and I simply don’t have that kind of money.
and even if we max out the restaurant’s capacity, we can’t fit even 50% of our close friends with just 1/3 of seats to use….sigh

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