Post # 1
Is it ok to ask the bride how much I should budget out for her wedding about a year out?
I’m a new college grad and am worried of getting hit in the face with a $300-400 dress that I’ll never wear again, $50hair, $50 makeup and $100 in shoes unexpectedly.
She is a new college grad as well but her parents are covering the wedding.
Post # 3
I think it would be wise to discuss your concerns with her. Let her know that while you would be honored to be one of her bridesmaids, you are not sure you will be able to afford it.
I actually asked a close girlfriend to be a bridesmaids but asked in a way to give her an option out. I knew she was already in two weddings in the same year and had a lot of personal things going on. She declined and I completely understood! My other friend who ended up being one of the bridesmaids actually has not given us a wedding present because they had to travel to attend the wedding. She told me about it and felt horrible. We assured her that her (and her daughter who was the flower girl) participation was a wonderful gift in itself!
My point is, your friend will understand. 🙂 Better to be up front than have it all blow up later.
Post # 4
Theres nothing rong with asking.
Post # 5
Absolutely, in fact it may be helpful to her to have a price range in mind when she starts looking at dresses for you guys. It would be worse if you couldn’t afford something you needed half way through the planning. Maybe mention that when you ask her, if she’s the type who might take the question the wrong way.
Post # 6
I would ask, sometimes the bride pays for these things too, at least in the UK. So it might not be as bad as you are thinking.
Post # 7
@purehart:I think it’s so ridiculous when brides make their bridesmaids shell out HUNDREDS of dollars, I think it’s frivilous and rude. I would see no problem asking her what is expected. Explain, just like you did to us. You are a new graduate and don’t have mommy and daddy to pay for everything.
Post # 8
Personally I think brides should always give their BMS an idea of how much they will be spending so the BMs dont have to worry about it or have to ask the bride. I told all my bridesmaids how much they would be spending the very day I asked them to be my bm, its so much better this way
Post # 9
I feel like the only stupid question is one not asked. You should absolutely talk to her and ask her, let her know your concernes and let her know that when she does make a decision to let you know so you can add that into your budget and you have plenty of time to save. There is nothing wrong with this and I think it will be less stress on everyone in the long run.
Post # 10
It would be perfectly fine to ask, as long as you don’t do it in a “great, how much is this going to cost me?!” kind of way …