(Closed) Ok to use RAPE to describe something other than rape?

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Is it ok? Choose A or B, then 1, 2, or 3.

    A. No, it is ridiculous and insensitive.

    B. Yes, people know what you actually mean.

    1. I have been raped.

    2. I have not been raped.

    3. I have been molested.

  • Post # 3
    3967 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @myaltarego:  not okay, ever,

    Post # 4
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I’ve been molested. I don’t personally use the word “rape” so lightly in the contexts you describe. It makes me uncomfortable when others use it as well. It makes light of a subject that shouldn’t be joked about.

    That said, I don’t get too worked up about it. Makes me uncomfortable, yes, but I am not going to dwell on the use of the word.

    Post # 6
    6737 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    The actual definition isn’t always about sex:

    an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
    to plunder (a place); despoil

    to seize, take, or carry off by force.

    Post # 7
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Not appropriate IMO. It’s wrong on so many levels to compare the force of someone against another sexually, and someone beating you in a video game. 

    Post # 8
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We use “murder”, “strangle,” and “kill” far more liberally in day-to-day conversation. I think putting the word “rape” off-limits reinforces the ridiculous notion that we shouldn’t talk about rape, which feeds both ignorance and victim-shaming. Murder is not rape. But both are horrible in their own way. Perhaps becoming more used to saying and hearing the word will lead us to talking about it more.

    Post # 9
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @myaltarego: I think this follows along the lines of calling something silly “retarded” or “gay.” It’s not okay, because…it just isn’t. It’s rude and insensitive. It isn’t about being PC, it’s about using better words than those rude, derogatory fillers.

    Post # 10
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @myaltarego:  Absolutely! It is NEVER acceptable! I actually had to point this out to my FI’s college age cousin not too long ago. He said he “really got raped on that test”. I was like, OH HELL NO. He’s a VERY nice kid and I doubt he understood how awful that was. Goes to show that type of language is apparently accepted among some 20-somethings.


    Post # 11
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @myaltarego:  I have not been raped (thankfully), but I think it is absolutely ridiculous and insensitive to use that word for anything else. Of course, I also think saying things like “bending over and taking it” is rude because for a lot of people that is a pleasurable choice. So maybe I’m just sensitive to misusing sexual phrases in general. 

    Post # 13
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Rarely appropriate, but when used intelligently and in the proper context I don’t find it offensive. “Rape” by definition isn’t just sexual. When people who obviously don’t know the proper definition use it lightly, it’s offensive because it’s ignorant. 

    Post # 15
    2369 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @myaltarego:  I haven’t been raped or anything like that before but I never think its ok to use the word in such a loose term, like its not a big deal. I can’t even imagine what people have been througI and it can’t be easy for someone to hear that!!

    Post # 16
    1900 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I have been raped, and I genuinely don’t mind people using the term “rape” in the contexts you described. However, I will think less of people if they use it around people they don’t know very well – I see it in a similar way to using a swear word, or a derogatory term. It’s fine to use in some circumstances (usually with people you know well or are comfortable with), but you shouldn’t use it with people you don’t know and it’s just insensitive.

    So if I meet someone who uses it flippantly without knowing me well, I usually won’t go out of my way to associate with them, and if someone uses it, say, on here in their post, then I usually just won’t respond.

    Having said that, I am more than okay with rape jokes – I see them as being different to using rape “lightly”

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