(Closed) Okay, I need a little venting and suggestions

posted 8 years ago in October 2010
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it might benefit you to work out a budget. Do you know who is contributing to the financial side of things? If your parents aren’t chipping in, they don’t have any business knowing what anything is costing, but if they’re paying for a significant portion, they DO have a right to know where their money is going, and that it’s being spent well.

Costs add up REALLY quickly when planning a wedding, so it’s important to go in with a plan. There are countless budget programs out there; try weddingmapper.com or theknot.com and they’ll give you a sample breakdown – then just tweak depending on what you actually want to spend your money on.

At that point, when people ask whether your ideas are financially responsible or not, you’ll be able to point them to your responsibly-created budget and explain that by DIY-ing your centerpieces, you’ve freed up the finances for a six tier cake, or whatever.

Post # 4
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) definitely let your mom know that the average wedding in nashville is about 16 months ish to plan.. this may also be a great tool to show her as well to let her know everything you want to do is normal and exciting… can you ask her why she’s not excited about the diy projects or ask her what she suggests etc?  also let her know that some wedding dresses take like 9 months to come in… some take shorter but that may get her on the ball, you know… btw is arzelle’s still around in nashville (went to college there and lived there for five years) taking her there to see costs etc may definitely start to anesthesize her.  everything involving the word wedding is over priced and it’s quite sad, but that’s the way it is until consumers start refusing the costs. 

if you are paying for the majority of the wedding, i would just say “it’s in the budget” whenever they ask how much something costs.  that should keep them in check…

http://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/weddings/budget/average-wedding-costs-tennessee-00000000006645/index.html

Post # 6
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am planning a October 2, 2010 wedding currently as well and I am practically doing everything myself with the help of others.  My fiance and I am paying for the majority of the wedding, so I am not letting anyone try to persuade me into anything I dont want to do or persuade me out of something I do want.  Remember one thing – this day is about you and your fiance.  Everything can be done on a budget and it can be very beautiful.  Since we are paying for our wedding ourselves, we are definitely on a budget as well.  If you would like some ideas, let me know.  Also – I am not sure what type of dress you are looking for, but I do have an extra one that would go GREAT with a fall themed wedding.  I love this dress but unfortunately purchased it way too early and it doesnt fit now and it would cost more for alterations than buying a new dress.  It is a Maggie Sottero Limited Edition Size 10 in light gold/brown.  LEt me know if you are interested in seeing pictures – I am asking $400 for it – I paid $600 and the original price was $900.  Good luck with everything!

Post # 7
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I definitely feel overwhelmed at times when I look at prices. FH and I are paying for everything on our own with a teeny, tiny budget. I get frustrated because we just want a modest wedding and reception. Even the cheapest of the cheap is expensive! I am trying to think of DIY stuff, but there is only so much I can do! 

One positive thing is that at least no one can push their input because they’re not paying for anything!

Post # 8
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hey girl.  I’m having similar problems although my family is pretty supportive.  My fiance and I are pretty much paying for everything (except the rehearsal dinner and my mom is helping with a lot of the girly things…dress, etc.).

My mom went with me once and didn’t want to go again because she is going through a lot and it really isn’t her thing.  So, I just went with my bridesmaids the second time and bought my Karena Royale (like you!) with them. 

I have 6 bridesmaids, 2 step parents, and da lot of future in-laws.  You know what I found out?  Only one bridesmaid is super supportive and listens to everything I say.  I had to relaizze that it’s really about me and my fiance.  We are the ones who should be excited and it’s ok if no one else wants to talk about it as much as you do.  I know it hurts sometimes but just try and focus on you and your fiance and have fun with it as best as you know how.

I’m in school too so I know I’m gonna start stressing real soon (wedding is 8/21/10).  All we can is our best and I hope and pray things are getting better for you!  All I can say is find those few people you know are supportive and loving, and go to them when needed.  Otherwise, don’t let too much get you down.  We’re getting married WOOOO!!!! lol Best of luck.

Post # 9
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I feel your pain! My mom does the SAME thing. I mention something for my wedding and its like little dollar bills wearing devil horns appear in her eyeballs!!! Her first response is either ‘how much’ or something along the lines of suggesting something that i completely dont like, dont wanna hear about, or will cheapen my whole look!!!! UGH!!! You are SO not the only one and yes, it does SUCK! Just keep thinking of how beautiful your wedding will be in the end and know that it will all settle down afterwords.

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