(Closed) Okay this is really eating at me

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

with my upbringing godparents are family – no blood relation but they might as well be

it obviously made her happy to be invited, sounds like she had done ALOT for your Fiance over the years  so focus on what is important to you and your fi right now, being in love and getting married

congrats to you both

 

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry you are feeling distraught over this, but in my opinion, she family based solely on this statement: “She does whatever she can for Fiance, she’s baked him every birthday cake growing up etc.” Even if she is an “oddball”, she is still your FI’s godmother and she has been there for him through all of his years.

Post # 5
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m not sure why you need to tell your parents. It will just cause drama and they will feel like they should invite someone else too. It’s just one person, and yes I’d think she’s family if she’s been there for every important moment in his life. You’ve only talked about the ceremony being family only just once with your FI? That doesn’t make sense. I don’t really understand why this is bothering you, she is important to him.

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

vent away MissB, i understand its easy to get sidetracked/flustered by things that trust me later on, you will wonder why you even bothered to care at the time 

 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Right now this seems like a big deal, but after the wedding you’ll look back and see how silly it was to get irritated about. I totally get how you feel though 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MissBabeski: I didn’t think you would be worrying about another mouth to feed since you said it was for just the ceremony. Are your parents paying for everything? I’m just saying that with my family, my side barely knows FI’s side just yet so they wouldn’t be able to tell if she was family or not. Regardless, family is whoever he considers family to be. One of my bridesmaids is my sister’s best friend, because she is like a sister to me, I consider her family even if it’s not blood.

Post # 12
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know, and sometimes you need to just go with the flow. So much has changed over the course of planning my wedding, there will always be adjustments and you learn to get over it quickly.

Post # 14
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I understand wanting to keep it small and intimate but what is one more? Especially since she has been a part of his life for so long, but i’d draw the line there…just think of it as doing someting nice for someone, im sure she an invite would mean the world to her.

Post # 15
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

If I’m not mistaken, mother is in the word Godmother.  Parent is in the word Godparent.  In the eyes of the church, a Godparent is another parent to the child … one who parents them spiritually, makes sure they get spiritual enrichment.  In many families, a Godparent is considered family.  If you want to get techincal, there is a reason parent/mother/father is attached to the God part.

It sounds like this woman has been a big part of your FI’s life.  Probably moreso than any of his aunts!  In many families a Godparent is considered a family member.  If my Godmother wasn’t out of town when I had my impromptu JoP wedding, I would’ve been sure she was there!  It honestly made me a little sad that she wasn’t there … but Darling Husband hit me with it out of the blue and, after 10 years and 3 kids and putting off marriage for that long, I was getting married come hell or high water!! 

Post # 16
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Well it obviously means a lot to your Fiance parents that she’s there, as they see her playing an essential role in bringing him up. Since its just one more person I’d go with the flow and not risk upsetting the situation.

It’s a little unfair but continue handling everything with grace and vent all you want here.

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