(Closed) Okay to NOT Use Mr./Mrs./Miss Titles on Invitations?

posted 10 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

my fiance got a wedding invitation in the mail that was addressed:

Dr. Full Name of my Fiance and Vee

literally, they only have my first name, and I didn’t even get a title (I’m a Dr. as well, so it should have been Drs.)

honestly, it’s nice to try and find out the last name of the significant others…

Post # 4
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We didn’t use titles. No complaints so far

Post # 5
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Oh, but I should say that we didn’t use the titles of ANYone – It’s bad form to only use them for the one person you know best. Be consistant.

And get the last names. A quick email or phone call will do it, so it’s not that hard.

Post # 6
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

I think it’s fine not to use titles, especially if the invitations aren’t very formal.  Honestly, I don’t think it would be a breach of etiquette at all, even if the invitations were quite formal–just a stylistic choice.  I might be wrong about this one…anyway, I think without titles you are actually less likely to offend people.  There are a lot of women who seem to have big issues with being called Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast (which I used anyway–oh well.)  I used Miss for unmarried women who are roughly my own age or younger, which I thought was quaint, charming, old-fashioned and ladylike.  Well, my Maid/Matron of Honor informed me in no uncertain terms that she is a MS.!  Well alrighty then!  I know how to address the thank you card.  Or, maybe I’ll just forego titles altogether.

I would use last names for significant others.  I don’t think it’s that big a deal to just call people or email and say, what’s your boyfriend’s last name?  Or whatever.  That’s what I did anyway.  In general I don’t really like omitting last names on envelope addresses (the outer one that the post office reads, at any rate) but this may just be my own personal preference–I’m not really aware of any rule to back it up.

ETA: I just read Vee’s post, and she brings up a good point–it seems a little rude to just throw on someone’s first name only, as though you couldn’t be bothered to find out their last name, or they’re just some appendage of the main guest and not a person in their own right…which of course is not actually how you feel about them, but omitting a last name might inadvertantly convey that impression.

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I also didn’t use titles, except with people who I knew would be offended if I didn’t use the title.  I couldn’t fit the titles on the envelope.  It’s probably a no-no accordingly to Emily Post, but certainly no one has called me on it.

Post # 8
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

not using titles like Mr./Mrs. and we’re also using nicknames (i.e. Christy rather than Christine).  They don’t go by their full name for a reason and we know them by their nickname, so why address it to a name that you don’t even call them by?  That’s my reasoning for ours.

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

And idea, if your wedding is really informal is to use + sign instead of an "and" or "&". So it would be… john+joan.  It might give it a creative/designy feel and look more intentional instead of "opps, I don’t know your name". We used this format (the + and no last name) for our return address and RSVP stuff. That way it really flowed and didn’t look like a mistake.

If you only know one title and can’t get all the information for the other person, then I would definitely recommend leaving off titles all together. That way you avoid a situation like vee’s.  Etiquette is supposed to be about honoring people, so if they will end up feeling offended instead of honored, then it’s better to ditch the etiquette in favor of not offending. (IMO)

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I was in the same position… I just did my wedding invites.  My male cousin lives and owns a house with his girlfriend (I’ve met her a handful of times)- and while I know they are pretty much married (he’s putting off the legal aspect until they are positive… the he’s been married twice)… I wasn’t sure how to include her on the invite.  I didn’t want to put:  Mr. blank blank and guest.  She’s not just his guest…  she is invited!  I just decided to put their first names (no one knew her last name that was around).   I know this isn’t proper etiquette- but they aren’t the type of people who care.  

 

  I personally would prefer not to have titles on the invites.  I am not changing my last name once I am married, I’ve already gotten a few pieces of mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. X.  It’s irritating 

Post # 11
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

For family and parents’ friends, we did Mr and Mrs John Smith, but for our friends, we did John and Jane Smith without the titles.  I think no titles is fine for people that you know will be comfortable with it.

Post # 12
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m like alli– I won’t be doing titles or addressing people by "formal" names, either.

Post # 13
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

tivoli

I’ve never received an invitation with formal addressing like Mr./Ms./Mrs./Miss . . . It’s fine..Do what you see fit and is appropriate for your situation! 

Post # 14
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i did all of my invitations without titles and if they have the same surname i wrote it like this: Alice & George Valis

my invites are informal and casual. i hope no one complains! 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

oh and i did have one invite that i could not get the last name for even after asking the person directly. weird right? no one know his real last name.

i have no idea what the story is and i can’t find anyone else who does either. 

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