(Closed) Okay to tell guests to wear formal attire?

posted 11 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Is it ok for me to ask them to dress in formal attire?

    Yes absolutely!!

    yea but they may not appreciate it

    No they will take offense

    Who cares what they wear

  • Post # 3
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    No, I think a lot of people having more formal weddings but “black tie required” or a nicer “black tie optional” on their reception cards.  I think it’s fine and they probably don’t want to show up in jeans if everyone else is in formal attire.  I know I would be embarressed.

    Post # 4
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I think people appreciate being told what the dress code is.  At least I always do.  One of my friends put “dress to the nines” on her invitations.  I thought it was a super cute way of telling people black tie.

    Post # 5
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Our invitations says: what to wear: please wear black & white or black only

    We don’t want to sound demanding, but if 1 person wears a crazy color, they may feel odd.

    Maybe “we kindly request our guests to wear formal attire” or something like that?

    Post # 6
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Etiquette wise, yes this is offensive.  Just make the wording and design of your invitation is more formal.  On the reception card also put something like, “Please join us for a black tie celebration!”  Also, your venue will set the formal tone so give guests the Web site link.  Word of mouth with be your biggest friend! lol.  If you are really worried about it put something like, “Please be mindful of venue’s dress code,” and link the venue’s dress code or copy and paste. on your wedding Website.

    Good luck! =)

    Post # 7
    2039 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Oops, I posted on your other thread. What I had said was, I think the only time it’s technically appropriate is when it’s black tie, and then you would put that on the actual information on the invitation. But I think it would be okay to put “formal attire requested” or “cocktail attire requested”. How formal do you want it to be–tuxes, or nice slacks and a button down?

    Post # 9
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I think I am going to put on ours:

    Formal adult event

    Hopefully, 2 birds with one stone regarding children and attire.

    Post # 10
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2021

    we relied on word of mouth/ fancyness of invitations. one of my husbands friends wore jeans and a snap up flannel shirt. you might want to tell any likely offenders specifically. He sings with DH so I know he owns slacks. This still makes me mad. he also knew the groomsmen would be in tuxes. grr.

    Post # 11
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think guests DO appreciate being told how to dress. Otherwise, they have to guess and might get it wrong. I think saying “required” is a little strong, though. I like the “dress to the nines” suggestion. Many people enjoy the chance to get dolled up occasionally; don’t assume they’ll hate it!

    Post # 12
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I’m with hilsy. “Formal attire” or “cocktail attire” would be fine. “Black Tie” suggests that men have to rent a tux.

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