(Closed) Okay with name change… BUT…

posted 8 years ago in Names
  • poll: How did you feel when you changed your maiden name to your married name?
    Excited! : (57 votes)
    41 %
    Scared! : (35 votes)
    25 %
    It was no big deal. : (19 votes)
    14 %
    I didn't change my name, I kept my maiden name. : (29 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I didn’t change my name, but that was partly because both my mom and her best friend felt like you feel.  Don’t worry  – I think it’s very normal and completely understandable to feel this way!  And, no, the guys totally don’t get it.  My husband didn’t care if I changed my name, but he also didn’t understand at all why I wrestled with the decision so much or why I bristle if anyone acts like I did the wrong thing by not changing my name.

    Hang in there — I’m sure you’ll get used to it and, FWIW, I’m jealous that you all will have a family name and be “The Somebodys.”  Maybe focusing on things like that (the good aspects of changing your name) would help?

    Post # 4
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I haven’t changed my name yet, but I’m not looking forward to going through the process. Seems like so much RedTape.

    Post # 5
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I changed my name and I’m still getting used to it 6 weeks later. When I initial things at work, I keep using my old initials. I also have to think twice when I leave a voicemail for for someone. I’m so tempted to say my old last name. Also, when other people say my name, my first reaction is “who’s that? Oh yeah, it’s me!”

    Overall, I really love it, though. I feel such a connection to my Darling Husband when I say my new name.

    Post # 6
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m not married yet, but will be changing my name.  Funny thing though, the other day I took my new last name for a test drive and tried out my signature.  Turns out, it looks almost idential to my current signature although I swear it’s totally different.  (My last name starts with a U and is 4 letters long, his starts with a V and is 9 letters long… let’s just say I don’t think my subconcious is ready to let go- lol).

    Post # 7
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i’ll be changing my name, and i’m expecting there to be an adjustment period. there are things i like about my name, and there are things i like about his. i don’t think feeling a momentary sense of loss is uncommon — you’re changing your childhood name! i would expect to feel nostalgic and maybe a little sad — but focus on why you’re changing it — because you took a joyful, loving step in your life! it’s okay to feel totally ambivalent about changing your name!

    Post # 9
    4311 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I am going through the same thing.  3 weeks left with my name :/  I WANT to change my name, it’s just… a mourning feeling.  I explained it to my Fiance and he totally understood which made me feel a lot better that he a) listened b) pretended to get it lol.

    Post # 10
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    My feelings are somewhere between excited and scared.  My name change at school (I’m a teacher) just became official this week.  The kids have been calling me my new last name all year and I sign passes with it, but when it became final I was a little sad…

    Post # 11
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I felt excited, nervous AND it was no big deal – is that possible? It was no big deal because I always knew I would change my last name even before I knew who I was marrying. I was excited because it meant that we were uniting as a family and that made me feel good! I was also scared because any big change is a little scary and I wasnt sure how it was going to feel having a new last name.

    After 3 months, I am still getting used to it but its starting to feel a lot more natural!

    Post # 12
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’m not changing my name, but I think that what you’re experiencing is normal. Chances are, you’ve lived with that name for 20+ years!

    I understand how you feel about Fiance not acknowledging it and I think that it’s worth just a casual conversation because I’d be irritated and a tad resentful if my Fiance just assumed that I was okay with something that I was having a little difficulty with–so I’m all for diffusing the tension. Ask your Fiance how he would feel if the situation were reversed and he was going to change HIS name. Tell him to imagine you had to go into witness protection or something.

    Post # 15
    1213 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I have a kinda unusual first name and it seems to fit well with my given last name, so I’m hesitant to change my name. I’ve thought about hyphenating it, but that’s so much extra effort!! We’ve talked about how I feel, but I know that deep down my Fiance would be a little hurt if I decided that I didn’t want to take his name.

    To be honest though, my Fiance is actually kinda bummed about his own last name – his parents divorced when he was young, but his mom re-married and then changed he and his brother’s last names in the process. He went from having a very unique last name to one of the most common last names in the country. Since his first name was already a popular one, he’s now one of thousands in the country with the same exact name. It’s NBD – he loves his stepdad as if he were his bio. father (his real dad was kinda a dead-beat), but it just bugs him from time to time.    

    Post # 16
    3575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m hyphenating.  But I haven’t officially changed it over yet.  And it sure is odd writing both names together.  Thank the lord they are short!

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