(Closed) Old Friend = Fiance Foe

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Without knowing more about the situation, I think you have to respect your Fiance and not invite the third friend.

Are all three friends still close, will the third guy not coming cause a lot of trouble?  If so, then maybe leave all three off the list.

Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think you can if he is a friend of yours. I guess I think it depends on the kind of beef your Fiance has with your friend. ….and if these issues were a few years ago, maybe it’s time to let the past be in the past. depends on the situation i guess.

Post # 5
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Go with your gut!  There’s obviously a reason your Fiance and YOU, don’t feel right about inviting him. 

Post # 6
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Agree; It really depends on the situation. If your Fiance feels uncompfortable because say (this is just an example) he thinks your friend has a thing for you…. then I’d say don’t invite him. You wouldn’t want your Fiance to feel uncompfortable because of somethign like that. But if it’s not personal and more on the lines of a silly spat on some drunk night I say talk to FI about how you’d still love to invite your long time friend. In the end you or your Fiance don’t need to feel weird on your own day.

Post # 7
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I say don’t invite him.  If your Fiance feels so strongly about it, I think that trumps a ‘we keep in touch but haven’t really been friends since Jr. high’ type of friendship.  Chances are if your Fiance dislikes him so strongly, the feeling is mutual and your friend will understand why he wasn’t invited.

Post # 8
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Your fiance is more important then some friend. Your hubs comes first. If your friend has a problem with this then you just simply explain that your husband comes first. If he is married he will surely understand.

Post # 9
226 posts
Helper bee

I say leave them off of the list. It doesn’t matter the reason. Whatever it is, he felt the need to let you know that he would be miserable–how often do guys really express things like that? That says that forgiving and forgetting will take some time and energy that you might not have at this point in the game. So what happens if this friend comes and your honey is miserable all day? Will you be ok with that? Then guy friend has bragging rights that you chose him over your hubby on your wedding day–imagine that coming up in the futre. That’s the akward-moment-maker of a lifetime.  A good friend should understand that you need to choose your husband first.

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