Post # 1
Ok, so first off my Fiance DOES know all of this, I just need more opinions.
I met this guy in high school. We clicked. Never dated, I only wanted him as a friend. I was 16 & pregnant, but that didnt stop him from having feelings for me. I cant even begin to explain how he felt about me. The whole entire school knew it, everybody knew! He was friends with everybody at school, and I mean everyone! I dont know a single person that does NOT like him. But he was all about me. Me me me. It made me feel good 🙂 He cared about me soooo much!
Well a few years have past (I am now 22) Basically, I have hurt him. Over and over again. I had a boyfriend for 4 years, and during that time we would talk for a couple months, then stop talking for about 5-6 months, and I would start thinking about him again, and text him. We use to talk about how we were gonna get married, and have a family, and all that good stuff. I loved him alot. I truely thought he was the person I was suppose to be with. (And honestly, sometimes I still wonder. Is he the person im suppose to be with?) He STILL loves me so much! He is such a great guy, Just thinking about him makes me smile, he is so funny, and I miss that! I miss him in general. Well now I am with someone else, and engaged. He knows this, but when I told him he was mad and didnt want to talk to me anymore. (Because he still cares for me, and it hurts him.) I text him a couple days ago (He was on my mind, once again) He wasnt sure about talking to me. . Then he said he was willing to try. That made me SO happy. I want to be friends with him!! I want him in my life! But how I am taking it is, either We are TOGETHER, or nothing at all. So yesterday, all of a sudden he told me he didnt want to talk or anything! I dont know what to do. . I dont want to give up on him, I want it so bad, and so does he – put another part of him doesnt. (Kinda sorta his words.)
If we stop talking now, in about 6 months, hes just gonna be on my mind all over again, and im going to try. I dont know what I should do. All I want is him in my life. So basically, should I give up, or keep trying? Like I said, I DON’T want to give up so easily.
Post # 3
My instinct is that he just needs space. It is really difficult to watch someone you’ve been pining over since high school get married. I think you should let him call the shots, as hard as that may be for you.
Post # 4
Leave this poor guy alone. It’s clear that he wants to be more than friends with you and all you’re doing is giving him hope. The more you contact him, the more he’s going to think that there’s eventually going to be a chance for you guys. Let him get on with his life and find someone. Delete his number from your phone and stop contacting him. I don’t know how your Fiance knows all of this and is still ok with it. I’d be livid if it were me.
Post # 5
So do you want to be with him or do you want to be with your FI? I think you need to figure that out and if you want to be with your Fiance, you need to leave your HS friend alone and let him move on. He obviously wants to be more than friends with you and by you contacting him, even if it is just occasionally, you’re leading him on. As tough as it is to lose a friend, you’re hurting him. If you really care about him, you’ll let him go.
Post # 6
I second 2PeasinaPod. You chose Fiance over this guy and you need to stop stringing him along. Cut off contact. Don’t contact him in 6 months when you miss him.
Post # 7
I think you need to delete his number. I have that feeling every once in a while about my first love but I never reach out because it wont do any good. I always know we will end back where we started. It natural to wonder how someone is doing. But I think you need to just wonder and leave it at that. I love my FH and I know I don’t want to be with anyone else its just my curious mind wondering the What if… You are only human 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Yeah.. you may want him in your life, but you want him as a friend and he wants something more. I would not initiate contact again; he needs space to think about what he wants from you. If he believes he can and is willing to have just a friendship with you, he will contact you again. If not, it’s not fair for you to keep him in your life while he suffers from unrequited love that could prevent him from finding his own happiness.
Post # 9
@elysion: Thank you 🙂 I think thats just what I needed to hear.