(Closed) Old Situation, New Specifics: Kids at the wedding!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll:
    John and Sally Smith and your "Admit Two" invites should mostly do the trick : (21 votes)
    50 %
    Say "No Kids", people understand that doesn't mean no children at all will be present : (2 votes)
    5 %
    I say push the word of mouth as much as you can. You can't rely on people to just understand. : (19 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    @SBourgeous:

    But if you have ‘admit two’ and the invitation says ‘John and Jane Doe’ than I can’t even imagine how that would be considered rude since it’s clearly an invite for two people, right?

    Plus, I just figured everyone knows that there are going to be kids in the wedding that will be there and also some other exceptions.  I can’t imagine why the parents would lament that their kids weren’t invited unless they were also paying for the wedding/hosting at the venue.  I guess I just can’t wrap my head around getting upset at the bride and groom because they have decided on limits to their guest list and they chose not to invite every single child that belongs to every adult on their guest list.  It just seems presumptious.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    @luckyprincess:

    Well, I write out Christmas cards to “Mr. and Mrs So and So”. If they have kids, their kids are automatically included in my merry wishes without me having to write “Mom, Dad, Son, Son, Daughter”. If someone was specifically planning on NO KIDS AT ALL, it would be nice for the invite to say that or they may just assume the whole family is invited. I always write “Mr and Mrs So and So” if I’m not sure they have kids or am unsure of their children’s names.

    A few kids I can see, but if there’s a dozen or more kids running around and I didn’t know it was limited to just the bridal party or whatever, I might be confused as to why my children weren’t invited…. or if maybe my children were the only ones not invited.

    Basically, if it isn’t clear your children aren’t invited, they may just assume. If they don’t know that only children of the wedding party are allowed, they may feel awkward. It nice to let your guests know whats up.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    @kala_way:

    Haha, I think the little “fine print” is a cute idea on a move stub. If you shorten it up a bit I think it’s great. And I fully support putting PG-13! Goes with your theme and drives home the “no kids” idea.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    @SBourgeous:

    That makes sense that we’d see that differently – I always write ‘The Doe Family’ or something if I’m including children in Xmas cards, invites and that sort of thing. 

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with writing ‘adult only reception’ or something and then if there are 12 kids there from the bridal party and immediate family, people can just quietly assume in their chairs ๐Ÿ˜›  I’m sure they’ll get over it or they will be so upset that they’ll ask and someone will tell them the situation and then tell them to chill out and enjoy the night without their kids ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 22
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    @kala_way:

    I love your lighthearted ‘small print’.  Very cute and I think it should go on the website or invite.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1843 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I like the PG-13 idea too – maybe incorporate that to get the point across.

    Honestly, until I started visiting The Bee, I was completely unaware of a lot of etiquette issues.  I don’t think we can assume that everyone else knows all these “rules” either. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1086 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    People will most likely still ask about kids, so I’d write something along those lines…PG13 is cool…

    Post # 25
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Is it possible to prove a baby sitter either in a seperate room in your location or at a local house?  Kids can watch a movie and have a pizza party.  This would especially be good for any out of town people.  And your relative kids could go to it too.  What time is your reception?  If its late, parents of young children would be less inclined to bring them (I would think anyway).

     

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @kala_way: No, I’m not saying it’s etiquette!  Sorry it came off like that.  What I’m saying is from my own personal experience as well as from recap posts from other bees, it seems to be common for parents to assume their children are invited, whether you explicitly list them on an invitation or not.

    Like PP stated, some parents won’t attend things like weddings without their kids.  And some guests will ignore your request and bring their kids anyway.  And some people will RSVP for their kids and cross off the “Admit two” and write in “Admit four.”

    I’ve just heard about it so many times, I thought I’d let you know that you can probably expect it from at least ONE family, if not more.

    Post # 27
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think you can address it to the two adults, most “family” invites would say “The Green Family” and that to me includes kids.. But I wouldn’t rely on just that I would definitely spread it word of mouth. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Not sure if I can help a bit. My Fi and I are also paying for the wedding, and his parents initiated to pay for the reception. We 4 people all agree that only kids from close family members will be included. We won’t include that information directly on the invitation, but we will:

    1. Only put Mr. xx and Mrs. xx instead of xx’s Family

    2. Word of mouth…. tell them through facebook something like that

    The reasons we don’t want kids:

    1. Too noisy

    2. Black tie formal event… so we want all adults to enjoy

    3. Reduce cost

    Post # 30
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We are having the same issue.  We are inviting the children of relatives and the wedding party, but no other guests.  On the invites, we are saying (& Family) if we are inviting children and just Mr. and Mrs. if not.  To be extra careful, we are doing the ___ of 2 or ___ of 3 method on our RSVP cards so there is no confusion.

    We talked to one or two friends with kids that were not invited and they totally understood.  Luckily, most of those guests are from in-town so babysitting is an easy option for them.   So, do what works best for you!  I think the people who want to complain will complain no matter what.  The people that you consider to be real friends will be understanding. 

    The topic ‘Old Situation, New Specifics: Kids at the wedding!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors