(Closed) Old wedding photos as decor dilemma – what to do?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
4038 posts
Honey bee

For my daughter’s bridal shower, we had photos of the 2 mothers and 3 grandmothers (who attended), in their bridal gowns, on the fireplace mantle. It might be a better idea, considering the issues with photos for the groom’s side, to display your side at your shower? 


Post # 4
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It’s frustrating, but if they don’t have the pictures, they don’t have them. For whatever reason, photos aren’t that important in many families. I can’t see getting upset with your Fiance about it. Will he or the in-laws have a problem with you just displaying your pictures? If it’s important to you that sounds like the best thing to do.

Post # 5
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
BurlapnLace:  I’m in a similar boat. I wanted to do similar and make a family tree of wedding photos. On my side of the family, there are many strong marriages. Only one divorce and one separation, both cousins who wouldn’t be expected to be on this family tree. Not only is his family small, but the only ones who are still married and haven’t been disowned are his parents, his paternal grandparents and his aunt and uncle. I don’t know the history with his great grandmothers, so we may be able to get a picture there, but that’s really it. That makes a rather lopsided tree. He said I can talk to his grandpa about getting pictures for the family members they don’t talk to and won’t be invited, but I’m on the fence about it. 

Maybe you could do it as an “In Memoriam” thing. So your grandparents and maybe one of just your dad on the wedding day. Does he have anyone who’s passed on his side? Even if he doesn’t, I don’t think being left out of a memorial would offend anyone. 

Post # 6
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Go over your FI’s head and contact his mom about obtaining any family photos or ones of her in her dress. Even family portraits that aren’t wedding ones would make them feel included without making anything awkward. But I wouldn’t just take FI’s word that no pictures of him with his parents individually exist. Boys are dumb lol there have to be acceptable photos!

Also, how recent is the divorce? I’m totally displaying a picture of my divorced (well, actually, never married) parents! I don’t give a shit and neither do they because all the ugliness was 20 years ago.

Post # 8
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Sooo…do it for your family then? Sounds like you’ve done all you can, and if they aren’t getting you any pictures and don’t care about it, why would they feel left out?

Post # 9
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t do any old wedding pictures.   It is rude to the divorced/separated people, and not necessary.  You can do in memorian.  leave it at that.

Post # 10
2347 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
BurlapnLace:  I recently went to a wedding that had a “wish you were with us” table. It included photos of many disceased relatives. Maybe that would be better? 

Post # 11
4239 posts
Honey bee

Hmm, that’s tough. I’m going through something kind of similar. I want to have all of our parents and grandparent’s wedding pictures. His parents are divorced and his mother is remarried. Obviously, I don’t want to have pictures of his mom and dad, AND his mom and stepdad’s wedding, but then I worry his dad will feel left out.

I thought we would also put out some family pictures of when we were babies (just one or two), that way his dad will still be represented. Could you see if there are any baby pictures of him? Maybe ask his mom or dad directly instead of him since he doesn’t seem to care?

Post # 13
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are planning on having photos of our deceased grandparents on our guest book table, with a sign that says something about them being in memory. Right now, I have my dad’s parents wedding picture, and will hopefully get his mom’s parents wedding picture.

I lost my Grandma 2 years ago today, so I really want to inlcude her in some way in our wedding – I was her oldest grandchild and she never got to see any of them get married.

Post # 14
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL

No idea what to do about he lack of any photos at all on his side, but we did a huge photo display in the library at our reception. Some were wedding photos, including at least one from one set of my grandparents and I think his parents. My parents are divorced and my dad is remarried and we just didn’t use any wedding pictures of either of my parents. They were in plenty of other pictures and since the wedding pictures were mixed in with everything else, it didn’t feel like those were missing. (I even had one with both parents in it from when I was 2)

Post # 15
4104 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
BurlapnLace:  I would just do this for the shower, then. I had pinned a bunch of really cute photo ideas for the wedding a while back, but quickly realized none of them would work without leaving his family out. FI’s parents are divorced and he isn’t really a fan of having his mom and step-dad’s wedding portrait at the wedding (for fear his dad would feel left out). I am going to do it at my shower instead. Even in my family, I wouldn’t showcase my Nana’s wedding portrait because she and my grandfather had a messy divorce, so it’s not a happy memory, nor is it a happy picture (they both look obviously miserable to be getting married). Plus, he will be attending with his wife of 30+ years and I am NOT putting their wedding photo out. 

I still plan on taking pictures of me holding my parents wedding portrait and my grandparent’s wedding portrait. 

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