(Closed) Older bride second wedding – elope or not?

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
587 posts
Busy bee

If I had a mom, that was going to go to like Hawaii or somewhere to elope and have a honeymoon there, I’d be proud to have a cool mom.

Do what you feel like you genuinely want. Wedding is not to please other people, it’s about you!

Post # 4
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

My advice is do what you feel will be most comfortable for the two of you. I’m 34 and a second time bride. First marriage was confidential with no witnesses in a park. Neither of us are very social so we settled on a small wedding with max guest list of 40. Our parents are both excited to attend, mine bc they weren’t at the first wedding and his bc he’s an only child. While its lovely that they are attending if I truly didn’t want to do this for myself we would have done a private destination wedding. 

Your parents would get over it, the kids would likely get over it even faster. 

Post # 5
7805 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m in the same situation and considering a small, family vacation elopement with just our children (14-23) and possibly our mothers, primarily because we feel we are binding two families together and not just the two of us. 

Post # 6
7396 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
wild4daisies :   I wouldn’t consider a wedding with your 6 kids plus partners to be a HUGE wedding. With parents you’re looking at 16 people….which is a far cry from 150. I would talk about it with your kids and see where they stand. Let them know youre desire to have an elopement (maybe with just parents) but that you want them to weigh in because you wouldn’t want them to feel excluded.

Post # 9
7805 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
wild4daisies :  I expect our combined brood will be sharing a lot of future holidays and such together and as much as I share your feelings about hoopla and getting married in front of anyone I wouldn’t feel right to not include them. I even thought it could be fun to have a few of them officiate a casual, short and sweet ceremony on the beach with little to no fanfare and then a fabulous dinner. 

If you and your Fiance want to go do something on your own and you’re fine with announcing it after by all means do that! I have a feeling if you announce it before you’ll get a lot of pressure (especially from your parents) that could be difficult to stand up to. You do you. Congratulations in advance!

Post # 11
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Family will get over it, you can always celebrate with them when you return and share photos/video with them.

We eloped, it was my second marriage as well and my husband has social anxiety plus we both have some family drama so we said let’s make this just about us and do what feels right. No regrets, and everyone was totally supportive.

Post # 12
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Do both!! Elope just you and the future hubs. Then have a party for the fam when you get back.

Post # 13
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Elope.  We picked an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica and our wedding was included with the 6 night stay.  We opted to splurge on a larger photo package and get a DVD to share at home, and it all cost less than a 30 person wedding would have run us here at home for anything we liked.


Friends and family were a little disappointed we did not throw them a party for us getting married, but they got over it quickly, and organized their own showers and parties to celebrate before we left.

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