(Closed) Older Brides — Were your friends "over" weddings by the time you got married?

posted 4 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 21
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee

Not that I noticed! I got married at 40 just 5 months ago. The wedding I had was not the one I’d have had in my 20s…it was better. I make a lot more money now, was able to spend more on those that I love, and like a pp said–make my affair Pinterest worthy. 

My best friend is married and was my Maid/Matron of Honor…she was just the best and so excited to be involved. She threw the best shower for me. I had many out-of-state friends/family fly/drive in for it. Maybe it was such a long time coming for me that everyone was very happy to watch my long, painful dating life come to a conclusion! Hahaha.

Post # 22
Member
7106 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Gsxr06: – this rings very true!

I got married at 27, and in the south when all but two of my friends were already married, I was considered “old” haha. However, the bonus to that was that I had a rockin’ wedding because we were much more established than our friends were when they got married. We had a huge formal blowout for 200+ people simply because we could afford it. Most of my friends had pretty modest weddings, and I’m sure I would have too if I’d gotten married at 23. Our friends and family had a blast.

Post # 23
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’ll be 35 when we get married, but I’m by far “the last” of my friends to do so. That’s probably because we all met in NYC, SF, and LA, where people may focus on their careers and having fun a little longer before settling down. So, it probably matters more where you live than how old you are.

That said, I see the upsides and downsides with the situation. My friends are now scattered across the country. As a result, weddings are some of the only times our group gets to hang out without children. We all congregate, usually choosing the same hotel and coordinating our flight times, and it’s a great time.

Then there’s money. No one’s really worried about money because we’re not in our 20s anymore. I remember flying in the morning, attending a wedding, and coming back the next day because that’s all I could afford. Not anymore! I know, as a guest, I can afford to give MUCH BETTER gifts at 34 than I was at 24. Also–partially tied to that is vacation. When I only got my 2 weeks a year, I was very conservative about where I traveled and how I took time off. Now? I get 4. As a result, it’s not a big deal to take a Friday off and be rested before a wedding.

We will probably lose a few guests because they’re due to have their first kid in the months and weeks before our wedding. BUT–our friends who are on kid #2 and #3 aren’t as neurotic about leaving their kid at Grandma’s for the weekend. So, it will even out!

Not sure if I’m going to have a shower or bachelorette party–that’s primarily because I live in California, the wedding is in Philly, and friends and family are all over the place, and not really a function of my age.

Post # 24
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Vineyard & Winery

I’ll be 38, he’ll be 46…first time marriage for both of us and the planning has been awesome! We’re both very financially secure, know what we want and everyone is thrilled for us! I am having 4 bridesmaids (my 2 sisters and my 2 best friends) and Fiance has his 4 grooms. There was no weirdness at all about asking anyone. As a matter of fact one of my BF’s is super excited bc she has never been a Bridesmaid or Best Man before and thought she never would be! They are throwing me a big shower, my work is also tbrowing me a shower and we are going to Vegas for my bachelorette…all planned by them. One of my very good friends is 47 and invited to the bachelorette—she is beyond thrilled bc she has never been to one in Vegas and was convinced she never would have the chance to do so.

For me, the whole experience of getting married a little later than the “norm” has been VERY positive on all counts! It has been a while since our friends have gotten to do wedding-y things so they are having fun with it too. Enjoy yourselves!

Post # 25
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m 37 (will be 38 at the wedding) and I think most people are just happy and excited for me. It might be harder for some of them to drop everything for wedding events, but it’s also nice for them to get a chance to go out again after the partying has slowed for a lot of them. I have one friend on the younger side (early 30s) who is so excited for weddings because she’s so sad hers is over. Plus my Fiance is younger so his friends are all in the thick of it. It balances out!

I’m definitely going lower key with bach and bridesmaids (just my sister). I guess that’s easier for everyone but it also just suits me better at this age. 

Post # 26
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m the last of my friends to marry as well. While life has gotten more complicated and busy for friends in the 30s/40s, most people are still very happy for me, with just a couple people that seem a bit over it.

Some friends have commented they are so happy for some new and great news. Friends & Family usually enjoy, and sometimes need, a reason to celebrate something as the years go by!

Have you considered having a unique, really creative, or maybe just an incredibly enjoyable & relaxing wedding venue your friends have every experienced?! You could make your wedding something “new” for people if you feel you’re are missing some of that past excitement. I completely understand, as it does tend to change a little when we get a little older.

Post # 27
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Heck, I feel like I’m over weddings and I’m getting married in  a couple months…ha

But seriously, I feel like i was going to a ton of weddigns in my mid 20s and now they’ve really died down SO I know my wedding will be the first wedding in awhile for many people (well I guess in past 1.5 years I’ve gone to 3 weddings but it was so nice just being a guest and having a lot of friends at that wedding)

 

Post # 28
Member
1378 posts
Bumble bee

I attened a wedding in September. The Bride and Groom were one of the last to get married from a very large, social group of friends. Most of their freinds already had babies at home. This was their ‘night out’, and some of them were drunk and rowdy during my friends familys toasts/speeches. They definitely seemed over ‘weddings’ and more interested in having a night away from the baby. 

You’re excited, your family is excited and those people who care about you will be excited. 

Post # 29
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m speaking from a guest perspective rather than a bride’s perspective – but I am really looking forward to the weddings that happen after the typical wedding craze time that’s going on right now with all of our cousins being in their 20s and most of them in serious relationshps. I think I will be able to appreciate the wedding more because 1) I will be older and more mature myself and 2) I won’t be juggling all these family events and family drama at the same time. I have really started to hate weddings because of the family drama that comes with 5+ cousins getting married within 2 years of each other…..so I think I will really appreciate later weddings once everyone has had a break.

Post # 30
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

beeingpatient123:  I was 50 and had the works. All my friends were into it (it had been ages since they had been in bridal parties) but obviously none of them had babies. 

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