(Closed) Older Brides — Were your friends "over" weddings by the time you got married?

posted 4 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 31
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I totally know how you feel. I to have been a bridesmaid/moh many many times and loved being there for my friends on their special day! I already feel like that and Im getting married at 30. Crazy to be the last one at 30! They all have kids and all that and a lot “can’t come” to my events because of this but hey thats life i suppose! haha

Post # 32
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My friends are super excited, and many of them feel like we’re an old married couple anyways as we’ve been together 10 years (‘m 37). I can’t imagine your friends feeling over it no matter when you are married – that’s not the point. I’m sure they will be stoked for you and share in your happiness. It’s a contagious feeling too, happiness, like smiles 😛

Post # 33
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I’m in my late twenties, but two of my good friends (35 and 36) just got married and it seemed like everyone was just as, if not more, excited. One of be girls did a vineyard weekend bachelorette and planned it quite far out – there was one friend who didn’t come because she’s pregnant but the other women were all thrilled to get a break for a weekend! (They have toddlers though so in sure it would have been different if they were breastfeeding, etc)

Post # 34
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I feel you! I got married a few months ago at 35. Most of my friends got married in 2010-2011 so awhile ago. A few pros and cons I’ve noticed about getting married later in age/within my group:

Pro

– My friends gave me a good amount of wedding advice, all said they wish they could’ve done it more their way and spent less $$

– We had like 5 weddings for close friends in the span of 16 months (2 destination) from 2010-2011, having your wedding spread further out, people are not as wedding fatigued in a sense.

– People have now been to EVERY type of wedding, you really can do whatever the eff you want. For us no bridesmaids, groomsmen, father/daughter, mother/son, bouquet or garter toss. And guess what, people didn’t care! Try that 5-6 years ago 😛

Cons

– My friends have kids so although a destination bachelorette was in talks, we just did an overnight with us close gals….chill girl weekend (this could also be a pro for some)

– People may just be “planned” out, between weddings, baby showers, etc my group is pooped. But they were sweet and manned up (bridal brigade) for my shower, bachelorette, and helped with decor day of.

I guess most of these pros/cons also align with being mid 30’s vs late 20’s, but I enjoyed just doing our wedding our way the most. Embrace being a “later” bride amongst your group 🙂

 

Post # 35
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

beeingpatient123:  I chuckled at your ideal bachlorette party because honestly, that exactly what was planned for me and so “me.”  My three girls planned a great night, however, not one other friend RSVP’d that they would be able to come.  Due to the circumstances (kids, husbands, etc), yes, I do think many of our friends are unfortunately “over” many of the extra wedding festivities.

Post # 36
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Hey, So I was married and divorced. — Just newly remarried now. – So my first wedding I had 8 bridesmaids, it was over the top amazing big hotel wedding with all the frills. It was SO INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL. – It would have been more stressful if I had to actually plan and execute the specific timeline of the day. I’m glad the hotel had that all ironed out. – My bridesmaids were pretty much MIA. Even my sister who was my Maid/Matron of Honor, she seemed uninterested and blah. I had ONE friend who truly cared and was in it all the way with me. She was the one who threw me a shower.  — Everyone else just paid for their dresses on time with measurements as I corraled them. Then showed up for the day. 

Fast forward many years past lots of bad crap like dealing with crippling drinking addiction from my ex and blah blah blah – divorce. . .  

Here I am with brand new amazing husband!!! I’m 37 and he is 39. We went to the courthouse and had a no frills courthouse wedding with the Reverend. It was so personal and intimate. just us and the REv. I LOVED IT. – We plan on throwing a small one year anniversary vow and brunch for friends and family next year after he retires from his 20 years in the military. — No maids – no craziness. Just lots of flowers – cake and champange!!! 

I have found that the older I got- the LESS JAZZED people were for weddings. ESPECIALLY being in them. People love to say yes to being a maid- but its a lot of work and in the end, if they aren’t a true best friend. . . its like having a warm body show up in the dress you picked alone. ugh – not worth it. . .  . Please only pick people you think are going to be really and truly WITH you for the event. Don’t just pick people because you feel obligated!! 

Post # 37
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My Darling Husband is 36 and all of his friends are married, most with kids, however they’re a really fun group and I actually think everyone is missing the yearly weddings we all used to all go to! If anyone was still left to get married I actually think there would be more excitement as it’s a rare chance for everyone to leave the kids, get together with their friends and have a party! 

Im 29 and around half my friends are married, I’m still super excited about my newly engaged friends and in the next two years I’m down to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor and can’t wait to start planning things! 

Post # 38
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

I got married at age 44 for the first time. Everyone was so happy for me and people flew to Maui for a destination wedding because my friends are also older and can afford it. Didn’t do the whole bridal shower and bachelorette party? No because I am beyond that. I had a few brunches and dinners with close friends who bought me very nice gifts on a one on one basis. Some had kids that made it hard to get away but you’ll have that with any wedding. My wedding was far more elegant because I could afford a nicer wedding than when I was in my 20s. There are pluses and minuses to every age. 

ip

Post # 39
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I got married at 35; of my closest friends, 2 were already married, 2 are single.  They were great sports about everything, luckily! Wasn’t expecting that but it was a great surprise.

Post # 40
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Our family and friends are so very excited as it is a first time marriage for both of us! They love love and have another great party or two to attend as a result! It is a win-win for all! 

Post # 41
Member
11479 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

beeingpatient123:  I experienced a little bit of this, but there also was some additional excitement because I was about *twice* as old as many of my friends were when they married. I had joked with one of my two matrons of honor many years prior that I hoped that I would marry before her oldest daughter (who was almost 10 at the time I made that statement.) And, believe it or her oldest daughter was engaged at my wedding and was married a little more than a year after I was! 

Post # 42
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

I am almost 30 and am the first one in my group to get married (with a lot of my friends looking at least 2-3 years out!).  I definitely wouldnt say I would be less excited to attend my friends weddings if they got married later on, but it could definitely make things logistically challenging during the whole process.

Since my friends are spreadout, if I have kids I would have to find a babysitter (or leave the hubby at home), Also, most of my friends are talking about having destination weddings and destination bachelorettes, which would be totally fine for me now.  But spending a few weekends away from my kids, and understanding the cost associated with kids, I would feel very selfish dropping 1K on a bachelorette party in Vegas. 

That being said, not everyone is in this situation (if most of your friends/family are local, finding a babysitter is probably not an issue, and if your not the type of bride that is basically expecting a blow out vegas weekend bachelorette and are fine with a nice night in), then I dont see how age and logistics makes any difference at all!

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