(Closed) OMG Bees….IT’S OVER

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh girl I’m so sorry.  I think only you can know if it is the right thing but it sounds like you were wondering if he would ever be ready months ago and he wanted to stay together.  Be strong and good luck on your interview!

Post # 4
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I broke up with my bf of 7 1/2 months that I was so sure I was going to marry. I was devistated and thought I’d never meet my guy. 6 months later, I met my hubby, who is so much better for me than my ex ever could be. I’m so much happier now.

If you have that different of views about your future, it is probably best that you are not together. I know that I really wanted to be married and to start a family, and I would not be happy in life if I didn’t get to have that.


Post # 5
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I am so sorry you are going through this!!  That had to be so hard to say goodbye and show him the door since he said that he doesn’t know what it will take to feel ready.  BIG HUG!!

Post # 7
168 posts
Blushing bee

Oh, honey.  ((((HUGS))))

This scenario sounds just like me and my ex.  And I had the same reaction as you – just kind of shocked for a while.   I don’t think I cried for a few days. 

Here’s the thing:  You did the right thing.  You can’t change what you want – and you shouldn’t!  But, you also can’t change him and what he’s ready for.  You deserve a partner who is 100% excited and onboard for the next step.  You really do.

And your BF is brave and honest for telling you the truth.  So, the best advice I have is exactly what you are already doing.  Go for a run, lean on your amazing girlfriends, take immaculate care of yourself.  And, send him love and light, and good thoughts. 

Maybe he’ll come back, maybe he won’t.  Maybe by the time he figures it out, you will have moved on. Who knows?  But this is the universe telling you to keep moving forward.  And huge KUDOS to you for having the guts to show him to the door, and not comprimise who you are and what you want.

The end of my own personal (similar) story is this:  We’ve been broken up for almost 5 years now, and I just spoke to my ex yesterday.  He told me that he’s finally in therapy,and dealing with his “committment issues”.  He just turned 30.  He asked me if I would go to dinner with him.  I’m not.  I don’t think my SO would appreciate it.  The point is: Everyone is on their own path.  Sometimes it takes the boys YEARS to catch up to us.  Sad, but true.

Let yourself grieve.  And then get moving.  That’s my two cents.

((((HUGS))))) to you. And best of luck on your interview!!

Post # 8
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I’m sorry, and I almost started crying reading this.  Maybe, just maybe, a short break is what he needs to put everything in perspective for him.  You both love each other, no question about that, so his fears of marriage may pale in comparison to his fears of going through life without you.  I hope this turns out to be the case, but if it doesn’t….yes, things will be extremely hard, but you will survive and become stronger.  Props to you for standing your ground and realizing that if he won’t or can’t give you what you want/need then it’s time to move on.  I hope you eventually get the happy ending you want, however it comes to be.  Stay strong, be hopeful, be happy, and blow them away at your interview.  *Hugs*

Post # 9
27 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you did the best thing! Obviously its something more to it if he says (i dont want to spend time together) etc. thats your warning sign and im so proud of you for just saying goodbye instead of being cornered into being a sitting gf whenever HE is always ready! You will find someone that will knock you off your feet and swing you into the heavens dont give up! No man is worth your tears and the ones that are wont make you cry!

Post # 10
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

DB, I just want to send you my love and support…I know it was a tough decision to make, but today is a new day with unlimited possibilities.  The memories will last, the pain will fade, and you’re going to be all the better for this experience.  Give yourself time to make sense of it all and to come to terms (on your own terms) with the outcome…you are wonderful and can definitely look forward to a beautiful future (single or not)!!   

**HUGS** I’m proud of you!!  Good luck on your interview!!


Post # 11
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You did the right thing.  I’m so proud of you for staying strong and letting him go.  I know it’s hard, but this will pass and you’ll be better for it in the end–you will see how completetly different it will be when you find the right one –I speak from experience.  Good luck on your interview!!  ((HUGS!!))

Post # 12
242 posts
Helper bee

I’m very sad for you, but honestly, it sounds like you’re at a great point in your life to start over.  You’re going out of state for a job interview.  You should rock that interview, move away for your new job, and make tons of new friends.  I bet the best years of your life are yet to come.

Post # 14
3330 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

*Big hugs* If you feel at peace, you probably did the right thing.

Post # 15
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This sucks! But you need to make yourself happy and make sure you’re living the life you want. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you rock that interview! 

Post # 16
656 posts
Busy bee

You did the right thing, 100%. I think all women have been through this at one point or another… Mine, like the others, was the bf before I met my husband. He didn’t want to get married or have any more children (he already had one from a previous relationship) and I just didn’t want to give those things up.. so we broke up and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And before you consider taking him back (should the opportunity arise) consider if you want to go through all this emotion again. I’m not saying men don’t change, but it sounds like he has some serious commitment issues and those just don’t go away.

Good luck honey, and it’ll be okay!

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