(Closed) OMG Family Drama! Mom wants wedding date moved earlier (long)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
116 posts
Blushing bee

I would stick to your plans on you original date. From what I am getting is that she is used to making all of decisions for your family and she still wants to have control. Let her know that you have A. Sent out the invatations, B. Everyone agreed on the date. 

Tell her you will send lots of  pictures. 

Post # 4
2889 posts
Sugar bee

This semms like a very hard situation. Why can’t your in laws make the new date? On one hand it seems like your Mother-In-Law guilted your mother into comign early and then when you found a wedding date that would work for your mother’s travel schedule it was a problem for your Mother-In-Law. So I can see why your mom thinks it looks like you are favoring the other side. Do your paretns both live in the same country? Would it be possible to get married there if so? I do think your mom coming to help with your newborn was a large sacrafice on her part and should be considered when planning the wedding. It is pretty rude IMO to say thanks for your help but you can leave now and we’ll get married when you are gone because that’s whn Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law can make it even though they weren’t the ones present when I neded baby help. I would cater to mom and tell the inlaws to change their plans as an aknowledgement of her sacrafices (i.e. being away from home) to help you out with baby.

Post # 5
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m confused, if you legally got married in March, why do you refer to your husband as your FI? 

If she is upset that you got pregnant before marriage, you need to have an honest conversation with her about it. There is clearly nothing she can do about it, so why offer guilt to you, makes no sense? 

How is your relationship with your MIL/FIL? I guess you have to choose who you would rather “not upset” and go from there.

Post # 6
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My question is, what could your in-laws possibly have that would be more important then your wedding? That makes absolutely no sence to me whatsoever. Unless its something life altering I cant understand what they could have going on that couldnt be rearranged to accomodate their sons wedding. Aside from that I agree with the other ladies. It sounds like you need to have a conversation with your mom and explain to her that the way you had everything planned out is how its going to stay. Sorry your in such a bad position with this!

Post # 7
3306 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@BrookieCookie9:  Yeah, he is your husband, not your fiancé. A lack of a party doesn’t make you not marriage. Signing that certificate does.

Post # 13
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Go on and do what you have planned. You have already spend money and time on your wedding. It sounds like no matter what.ya’ll do it’s going to be wrong anyway, so just go for it. At the end of the day it’s really about you and your husband’s new life together.

Post # 14
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sometimes with weddings there’s no pleasing anyone. Your wedding is planned for next month and I will assume you have booked several vendors like a caterer, photographer, cake baker, DJ/band, etc so it’s not just the venue to change. If your mom is saying she wants you to change your date is for her convenience  but your in-laws have a business project that can’t be moved, to me the logical choice is to keep your wedding date for October 2012. If your mother chooses to go home rather than stay for your wedding then that’s on her. Honestly what could be so important that she has to leave earlier and not attend her own daughter’s wedding?

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