- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
My fiance is out of town, so I’m addressing our (what feels like) 293874 invitations myself. Yesterday, I emailed him with three issues: (1) HisFriend1 has a significant other and I need to know her name (since we’re not just doing “and guest”); (2) HisFriend2 got married recently (lives in South Korea, we did not attend) and I need to know the name of his wife; and (3) I need to know if his relatives (aunts, uncles, parents, etc) would prefer to be addressed as “Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst HisLast” or “HerFirst and HisFirst HisLast”. I have never met either of the friends or any of his aunts and uncles, nor do I have their phone numbers or email addresses, or I’d just contact them myself.
I didn’t hear back so I emailed him again today. He emailed me back and apparently “hasn’t had a chance to deal with it yet”. Now, even if he’s absolutely INSANELY busy, it takes less than two minutes to email someone and ask, “Hey, what’s your lady friend’s name?” And in the time it took him to reply to my original email, he could have simply said, “Do Mr. and Mrs.” or “Use both first names”.
It would be one thing if this were the sole example, but I swear, every single time I ask his opinion about anything wedding-related, I either get ignored or he freaks out and says that there’s no rush. The other day, I blew up after he continued to state that he didn’t see why anything needed to be done so soon, and he declared that he’d just take over planning from here. And when I asked him if he even knew how to contact our DJ, florist, photographer, caterer, wedding party, officiant, bridal shop, seamstress, invitation designer, or bakery, his eyes basically glazed over.
I never wanted to plan a wedding, but I have accepted that if I don’t plan it, we’ll end up getting married in his fraternity house next to several kegs of beer. There are SO MANY DETAILS I do not even bother him about, but for the 5% of subjects that require his input, it would be really nice if he’d buck up and offer some help.
Thank you for allowing me to vent 🙂