Post # 1
So if you recall … I posted about fiance bringing up the issue of drawing up papers together so that we would agree upon a prenup. Well my fiance got my father involved for some reason, he thought it would be in my best interest … that was like 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I questioned my father about why he never got back to fiance about it.
Now it has blown up. My parents are FREAKING OUT. Like insane. They are saying that he has no respect for me to bring it up now and that because of his timing he is wrong and that the wedding is off. They completely called off my wedding.
As of right now my mom says she doesn’t approve of me marrying him and will not be a part of it or pay for it anymore. Now everything is ruined. I only have like 1/2 deposits on everything.
Fiance told me that he would call off the prenup, he didn’t realize this would happen and that he wants to marry me. My parents will not approve anymore and completely called off everything. THE DAY EVERYONE IS GETTING THEIR INVITES. TODAY.
Now fiance just talked to my mom and my mom was heated and said mean things, he told her that he is not pushing the wedding back, he will still marry me whether she pays for it or not and she can be there or not.
OMG. Is this really happening? Wth. Everyone has fuc*ing gone insane. I feel sick.
Post # 3
Oh my gosh, so sorry this is happening–big, big hugs! Try to give it a few days, and then get everyone to sit down and talk things out rationally. I can imagine how upset your parents must have to be to call off the wedding, but they appear to be doing this out of anger. Let them cool off and then you and your Fiance can explain things to them. Good luck!
Post # 4
Awe I am soooo sorry *HUGS*
Hopefully once everyone calms down things can be talked out! Emotions and weddings make people crazy!
Keep us posted!
Post # 5
First of all, I’m so sorry this is happening for you. It sounds very stressful.
How much of this do you think is just over-blown first impulse reaction and how much is real?
Truth be told, no one can call off your wedding except for you and your fiance. Your parents can choose to not pay for it, but they can’t make you not marry your fiance (so keep that in the back of your head).
You need to sit down with both your parents first alone to hear their concerns, and then with your fiance so you can address those concerns together. Make sure you approach it in a mature and reasoned matter. I know it’s hard, but you get so much more done when you can talk clearly and calmly about this kind of stuff.
It sounds like everyone is emotionally worked up, so if someone (like you) can de-escalate the emotion, that would be good.
If you don’t come to some resolution after reasonable discussion, I would seek the counsel of a marriage counselor who can help you and your fiance work through this with your parents.
Just remember, cool heads always prevail. Good luck!
Post # 6
My mom told me not to misunderstand her anger, it’s not at me, but at my fiance. She told me that she is on my side and that I should not marry him.
I mean … wth. We’ve lived together for a couple years now and are so happy. We’ve been dating almost 3 yrs. I mean … he is the love of my life. Now my parents will not be part of it.
Are they doing the right thing? I feel like they are out of control.
Post # 7
Oh, that’s horrible. *HUGS* Hopefully everyone will calm down after a few days and you can talk about it rationally. Good luck!
Post # 8
OMG hunny, I am so sorry. You need to talk to your mom and explain that, in this day and age, pre-nups are far more common than they realize. As hard as it might be for you, regardless of whether you believe it or not, you have to explain that it is not a sign of disrespect – it is practicaltiy meant to protect BOTH of you AND YOUR FAMILIES. Say that it was an adult discussion, now you’ve both decided against it after thinking long and hard about it. She is being irrational, you are both adults. Explain that plans are made, and if she calls it off SHE can explain why to everyone that got an invite. Just stay calm and DONT SIDE WITH HER. She could use it as fuel to the fire. Good luck <<<HUGS>>>
Post # 9
Mrs.DG … my parents said they will not discuss this any further and will not meet with me or him. They are being so harsh and mean. I don’t know what to do. =(
Post # 10
Yikes – she is really pissed. You are her daughter, she cannot avoid you forever. Like DG said, THIS MARRIAGE WILL GO ON…with our without the bells and whistles, it will happen. She just needs to get that because of modern day tribulations, it was mentioned as a safeguard.
Post # 11
Then procede straight to the counselor to have them help you work through the next steps. They are great for both venting to and problem solving family issues!
Post # 12
I think I am going to let this marinate and not call anyone. Seriously. They are so mad that it does no good. They have huge tempers and are so irrational.
Post # 13
Wow, can you have a close family friend or family member intervene who may understand the situation and talk them down a bit. In the mean time what can you and your fiance afford to do for the wedding on your own? It seems like if the invitations are out it would be hard to change the venues, is it doable?
Post # 14
I would let them know you are sorry they will be unable to attend, then go on with your planning. (but not in a snooty way)
Could you take out a loan for the remaining balance? I know it would stink, but it is better than changing venue, etc since invitations are out?
Maybe they will come around if they see you continuing with the planning?
Post # 15
Oh MY! This is a horrible mess to be in the middle of. Just remember we are here for you!
Stay calm and keep your head up.
Post # 16
WOW, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. ((((HUGS)))
Definitely try and get a third party to mediate this situation. This sounds very much like a knee jerk reaction and hopefully things will calm down.