(Closed) O.M.G. huuge insane chaotic mess just blew up in my face ..

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

Oh my gosh, so sorry this is happening–big, big hugs!  Try to give it a few days, and then get everyone to sit down and talk things out rationally.  I can imagine how upset your parents must have to be to call off the wedding, but they appear to be doing this out of anger.  Let them cool off and then you and your Fiance can explain things to them.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Awe I am soooo sorry *HUGS*

Hopefully once everyone calms down things can be talked out! Emotions and weddings make people crazy!

Keep us posted!

Post # 5
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

First of all, I’m so sorry this is happening for you.  It sounds very stressful.

How much of this do you think is just over-blown first impulse reaction and how much is real?

Truth be told, no one can call off your wedding except for you and your fiance.  Your parents can choose to not pay for it, but they can’t make you not marry your fiance (so keep that in the back of your head).

You need to sit down with both your parents first alone to hear their concerns, and then with your fiance so you can address those concerns together.  Make sure you approach it in a mature and reasoned matter.  I know it’s hard, but you get so much more done when you can talk clearly and calmly about this kind of stuff.

It sounds like everyone is emotionally worked up, so if someone (like you) can de-escalate the emotion, that would be good.

If you don’t come to some resolution after reasonable discussion, I would seek the counsel of a marriage counselor who can help you and your fiance work through this with your parents.

Just remember, cool heads always prevail.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh, that’s horrible. *HUGS* Hopefully everyone will calm down after a few days and you can talk about it rationally. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

OMG hunny, I am so sorry.  You need to talk to your mom and explain that, in this day and age, pre-nups are far more common than they realize.  As hard as it might be for you, regardless of whether you believe it or not, you have to explain that it is not a sign of disrespect – it is practicaltiy meant to protect BOTH of you AND YOUR FAMILIES.  Say that it was an adult discussion, now you’ve both decided against it after thinking long and hard about it.  She is being irrational, you are both adults.  Explain that plans are made, and if she calls it off SHE can explain why to everyone that got an invite.  Just stay calm and DONT SIDE WITH HER.  She could use it as fuel to the fire.  Good luck <<<HUGS>>>

Post # 10
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Yikes – she is really pissed.  You are her daughter, she cannot avoid you forever.  Like DG said, THIS MARRIAGE WILL GO ON…with our without the bells and whistles, it will happen.  She just needs to get that because of modern day tribulations, it was mentioned as a safeguard.

Post # 11
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Then procede straight to the counselor to have them help you work through the next steps.  They are great for both venting to and problem solving family issues!

Post # 13
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow, can you have a close family friend or family member intervene who may understand the situation and talk them down a bit.  In the mean time what can you and your fiance afford to do for the wedding on your own?  It seems like if the invitations are out it would be hard to change the venues, is it doable?

Post # 14
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would let them know you are sorry they will be unable to attend, then go on with your planning.  (but not in a snooty way)

Could you take out a loan for the remaining balance?  I know it would stink, but it is better than changing venue, etc since invitations are out?

Maybe they will come around if they see you continuing with the planning?

Post # 15
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh MY! This is a horrible mess to be in the middle of. Just remember we are here for you!

Stay calm and keep your head up.

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

WOW, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.  ((((HUGS)))

Definitely try and get a third party to mediate this situation.  This sounds very much like a knee jerk reaction and hopefully things will calm down.

The topic ‘O.M.G. huuge insane chaotic mess just blew up in my face ..’ is closed to new replies.

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