(Closed) OMG i'm too OLD?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 76
Member
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

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daniellemc:  No, not at all. I conceived my first baby when I was 30. 

Post # 77
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I just had an uncomplicated first pregnancy and was 36 at the time of birth.  Found out I was pregnant less than 2 weeks after DH and I stopped preventing.  There is variation in how we age.  

Post # 78
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I think different generation’s have very different child rearing ages, my mum was married at 19 and had me at 23, I think I’m late getting married at 25, I wanted at least 1 before I was 25 but a lot of people are having kids way over 30, certain risks go up slightly I think, but I think 40 can be measured as the danger zone. Don’t worry about it.

Post # 79
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Wow. What a moron. I had my first at 30 and just had my second at 35. Both healthy baby boys. We waited until we had a house too 😉  You’ll be fine.

Post # 80
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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daniellemc:  Are you in competition at your job? Maybe he wants you to take a baby hiatus for a while so that glass ceiling can get a little thicker

Post # 81
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Definitely not too old. Of course the chance of birth defects rises the older you get, but I know lots of people who have had kids in their 30s. 

Post # 82
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

You are not too old, but you’re not getting any younger it’d seem.  From an article on fertility on WebMD:

Fertility peaks in your 20s. Most women hit their fertile peak between the ages of 23 and 31, though the rate at which women conceive begins to dip slightly in their late 20s. Around age 31, fertility starts to drop more quickly — by about 3 percent per year — until you hit 35 or so. From there, the decline accelerates. “The average 39-year-old woman has half the fertility she had at 31, and between 39 and 42, the chances of conceiving drop by half again,” says [Dr. David] Adamson[, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine]. Approximately one in four women age 35 or older have trouble getting pregnant.

The average woman can have a baby until age 41, but that’s no guarantee. Your ability to naturally conceive a child ends about 10 years before menopause, but “we do not have good tests to predict when that life change will occur,” says Adamson. While the average age at which women deliver their last child is 41, for some women it’s 30; for others, 45. Currently, doctors can measure a few markers of fertility, such as the hormone FSH, but “these only tell us the bad news,” says Oktay. “Even if FSH is normal, that doesn’t tell us how many reproductive years this woman has left. Once it’s elevated, we know it’s too late.”

 

It goes on, but basically… no, you’re not too old.. but he also might have read these stats (not unlikely while trying to get his own wife pregnant).  Most people aren’t good at stats and don’t process this type of information accurately… he might have seen that at 31 your fertility is dropping, but he didn’t realize that it’s not dropping quickly just yet.

Post # 83
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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amanda1988:  most of us want our fertility to drop off a bit. We don’t want to worry about conceiving a baby every year or constantly worrying about birth control after having had several kids.  

Post # 84
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

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nycsa:  Haha, fair enough!  I didn’t really want to make much of an opinion, just was curious what “officials” said on the matter and posted what I found since I can see how someone would read that and misinterpret it to think you must have babies before 31, since (as I said) most people aren’t very good at understanding stats and probabilities (and a fertility rate is just that).

Post # 85
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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daniellemc:  I had two kids in my first marriage really young.  I’m giving it one last try at 38. So if you are old, I’m really really old.

Post # 86
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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daniellemc:  my husband is 32 and were not trying for another few years. This guys sounds like a southern debutante mom.

Post # 87
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Just tell him, “yep I’m 8 years late but heres hoping for a miracle! . Keep your fingers crossed for me!”

Post # 88
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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daniellemc:  I’m 30, no kids yet, will be waiting another 2 years ish.. i work in the medical field and while many “older” mothers do have healthy children, high risk pregnancies concerning age, are considered to be mothers over 35 years old. You also have lower progesterone/estrogen etc after 30 years old which can make it a little more difficult to conceive. BUTTTTTT.. mothers in their 30s, are more established, more mature, and more settled in their life which makes for a very functional home for a child. Don’t worry, you have plenty of time. 

Post # 89
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

The guy obviously has no clue what he is talking about. 30 is not old to have your first child! I am in the UK and the average age a woman has a first baby here is 30. I am 29 and about to start ttc and i have had comments from people that I am still young and should wait! (You can’t win can you?!) 

I think you’ve done the right thing by waiting to buy a house before ttc and you are not too old at all. For what it’s worth my 37 year old friend started ttc on her honeymoon and was pregnant by the time she got home!

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