(Closed) OMG!!!! The Last Name Dilemma!!!

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, to be honest, it sounds like you just don’t want to take his name. So don’t.

Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Why can’t you sign your maiden name as your middle name.  My middle name is on EVERYTHING, one reason why i dread changing my name.  It’s on all licenses, degrees, paystubs, passport and checkbook it even shows up on airline tickets.  

Post # 5
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I second Belle2Be–it sounds like you don’t want to take his name, so maybe you should have a frank conversation with your fiance on how you feel. I personally did not take my husband’s last name and would not have tolerated him insisting that I took his. If he was not willing to change his name, neither was I.

I don’t much about the legality of using different names. That said, I would assume that your last name is your last name. If you try to have a two-word last name (which can likely get problematic with some State’s driver licensing systems), they are both your last name and I would think you would always have to use both on legal documents.

Have you considered using his name socially and yours professionally? I know some people who do this, although it does have its problems. One name has to be your legal name, so if you (for example) kept your maiden name as your legal name and someone wrote you a check to Firstname Hislastname because that is what they know you as, you could have some trouble. On the flip side, at work your tax documents etc have to be in your legal name.

Post # 6
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m a social worker and Fiance has a reasonably well known last name.  I don’t want his last name to get in the way of building rapport with clients so I’ve opted to keep my maiden name at work, but legally and socially change my last name to his.  No hyphen, no dropping my middle name, just a plain old-fashioned change.  But I was always the little girl that practiced writing her first name with her crush’s last name.

If (and this is the key part) you really want to take Fiance last name there’s not anything that I can see stopping you from using your maiden name at work and your married name everywhere else.

For me, I’ll have to notify the licensing board of my intentions and the HR department at my office.  THat’s it.  My professional license will maintain my maiden name, as will my e-mail and all public work documents; however my paycheck and insurance info will be in my married name.

From my experience it seems pretty common in the helping professions.

Post # 9
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@rainymorning: That seems illogical to me, I don’t understand why people wouldn’t continue to see you as your own person with your husbands last name. I’ve never thought” oh, she shares the same name, she must just be that guys wife”. It doesn’t make any sense.

Post # 12
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my mil is a lawyer, and she uses her maiden name professionally but legally her last name is fil’s. i have no idea how she has pulled it off, to be honest!

i added my hubby’s last name to mine, so now i have 2 last names (actually 3–my middle name is my mom’s maiden name). it works great. socially i can go by both or either, and legally it’s like i have a hyphen, except there is no hyphen.

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