(Closed) OMG the RSVPs are coming in all wrong! with added children and guest. long sorry

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ugh, what a pain in the neck.  I think your idea about putting in the add-ons before the B-list is good….it will save you a looooooot of arguing and family drama.

Post # 4
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wait, they are asking him why his own children are allowed to come to the wedding? Holy crap, I’d be ballistic. And children IN the wedding are totally different. Jeez.




Post # 5
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Your solution is really sweet… b/c if it were me… i would return their rudeness and let them know,, those who aren’t invited,, AREN’T INVITED. 


Post # 7
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

um, no. tell his cousin she CAN NOT bring her kids and tell the same thing to anyone else who tries to impose.  this is definitely one of the worst and unfortunately most common guest faux pas.  don’t even bother with “we’ll check with the catering” because that just opens the door wide open for them to REALLY push you over.  when it comes to guest list restrictions, keep the rules simple and clear and STICK TO THEM.  Tell his cousin that he was mistaken and that you can’t afford to allow kids outside the wedding party to attend.  she CAN get a baby sitter for them, who can’t get a baby sitter with mulitple months notice??  and if she insists then tell her you’d love to have her there but if she can’t make it you will understand.  that will get the point across.  

as for the grandmother who added 2 people, that is tougher because she contributed money to the wedding.  you are probably right to make an exception for her, but anyone else who adds guests MUST be called and told respectfully that they were only invited X amount of people in their party and you just can’t afford to let everyone bring however many people they want to.  even if you can afford it, that’s not the point.  when you bring up the notion of cost, people don’t tend to argue with that.  

Post # 10
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011


I am in the same boat but you’ve got to put your foot down. If people get upset, OH WELL. It is basically a free party for them anyway.

I’ve told my family early and those who protested were let know tactfully but firmly that is our rule and you can either abide by it or not come. Just let the pastor/cousin/guest know your budget limit, who unfair it would be to allow one child and not another and then have a hostess at the door to block unwanted guests from coming in.

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