Post # 1
I’m sorry, but I just have to go on a little rant right now, at 1 in the morning, because I am a bit frustrated, and often dissapointed, in my wedding planning as a non-white bride.
For the most part, color doesn’t matter when you are picking venues, or trying on dresses, or cake tasting… However, I get very frustrated when there are no images of non-white brides when I am searching for a lot of vendors where color DOES matter.
For those of you who have no idea what I may be talking about, let me explain. For instance, photography is very important to me. However, I would say about 80-90% of the photographers that I looked at had no African American couples posted on their blogs or websites. Perhaps they have just not had the chance to shoot a black couple, and that is understandable–you don’t pick your clients. But as many of my yearbook photos illustrate, not all photographers can photograph black people–they are used to photographing a particular skin tone and don’t know how to adjust. A good photographer can do a great job no matter who the client is–however I have no way of KNOWING that just based on the few selected couples that actually make it online & my wedding is not the time that I want to take it on blind faith that my photographer is “good”. Moral of the story–if you have clients who are of different ethnicities, include them all–preferably prominently–on your website.
Another example, for which I feel there is much less of an excuse, is when artists who do illustrations or cake toppers or anything else that depicts the happy couple may have a range of couples or even what they consider to be “generic” images and they are solely white. So, not only do I then have to contact these designers to find out if they are even capable of DOING non-white brides, I have to PAY more b/c it’s a “custom” job.
In addition to the practical aspect of all this, I will also say that its rather disheartening to look at image after image of what a “bride” should look like and have none of them look like you. I would be much happier to be able to see very diverse images of brides and grooms–black, white, asian, lesbian, over 30(!), etc.– and I think that vendors who are able to show that type of range and are able to do it well will be very successful in drawing in clients who can “see” themselves in that vendor’s work.
Post # 3
I’m a white bride, but marrying an Asian man, so I too have been frustrated by cake toppers! We haven’t looked into photogs yet, and I’m not sure I would’ve even thought about how skin tone photographs. Thanks for the heads up!
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2018 - Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Rey
I totally hear you! There are so few resources catering to brides of color. You should definitely post photos and reviews of your wedding, so that other brides will have access to them. I am guessing many will appreciate it.
Post # 5
so very very true. its more apparent in two things for me, photography and dress shopping:
photography since i am part of an interracial couple – im black and my FH is white – you HAVE to pick someone that knows how to adjust pictures or anything with the two of us will have me looking too dark or him too light.
dress shopping because PLEASE dress shops realize that practically NO ONE looks good in stark white. like ever. ivory or even champagne dresses are much better for ethnic brides, at least have SOMETHING in the store that you can see what it looks like on for the customer.
i havent thought about cake toppers much but i assume it will be just as depressing as the other few searches i have made for things that deal with pictures. *sigh*
Post # 6
I’ve looked at the few ‘diverse’ cake toppers out there, and let me tell you… they leave something SERIOUS wanting.
Here’s an idea I stumbled upon though, and I’m planning to do the same, personally. 🙂 DIY might be easier than frustration or acceptance of ugly (or inadequate) in this case 😉
Post # 7
We cataloged a bunch of interracial cake toppers once upon a time…
There are some options available, altho not nearly as many as there should be!
Post # 8
@MoneyPenny- I used to live in CA and my mom’s best friend is married to a photographer. I just emailed to get their website…as soon as it comes to me I will post it here for you. 🙂 I have always really liked his work. I’m sure he has photographed black people before as there was a girl he did senior pics of right before me. I don’t know if he has any of his pics on his website, but I am sure he would be willing to send you some samples of his work and he is hispanic with a darker skin tone, so I am sure he understands your frustration. Sorry I can’t relate, but hope I can help! 🙂
Do you know what I am sick of? All the stinking cake toppers have the wrong color hair! not all of us are blondes with blue eyes. Sorry, that’s my 2 cents
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
That must be so frustrating!!!! You’re totally right, I never noticed before but all the dress models are white (although it might help to know that wedding dress models are the bottom of the barrel in modelling world…So maybe all the black models are in higher demand for real clothes? Just a random thought…)
I am sorry so, that sucks! Definitely post your vendor reviews so other non-white brides can use your experience…Also, can you talk to any friends who have gotten married who are African American, to get a photog review from them?? Good luck!
Post # 10
I haven’t looked at cake toppers, but I pretty much decided on a letter. I get kinda ticked when the black people come in ONE shade. (don’t get me started,LOL)
I agree. Ask someone who has gotten married about their photographer, but then they may have different styles than you, so that may be hard. My friend got married this year, but I wouldn’t use her photographer because the pictures are so stiff.
Post # 11
This is a really interesting point. I actually had similar photographer frustrations even though we are both white. A couple of our top choices had primarily non-white couples in their galleries, and although I loved their work, I really wanted to see couples that looked like us! We did ask for more galleries and got what we wanted, but it was interesting that they chose not to display too many white couples on the sites.
We also noticed that high-end photographers had mostly white couples pictured on their sites, and the discount photographers, who we were looking at, had many more interracial, older, and not-conventionally-beautiful couples. Interesting implications there for targeted marketing 🙂
Post # 12
I think vendors who take this into consideration in their public presentation would benefit more than they realize. I’m a white woman marrying a white man, but my best friend and maid of honor is black…you can bet I care about having her look good in pictures too! And, in general, about working with vendors whose clients represent the diversity of my friends and family, so that I don’t have to worry about how they will react when the African half of my husband’s family show up.
Post # 13
check out http://www.rossoscarknightphotography.net/ He’s a great photographer and does a healthy mix of everyone! He travels as well.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
You are so right. I’ve never realized that before! WOW! That’s horrible!
Post # 15
I’m white, but Fiance is Korean…so I understand!!! When we are photographed together, it sometimes really works. But with the wrong flash….I become ghastly pale – he becomes a weird dark yellow colour – and the the combo is just bad 🙁 I finally booked my photographer today, and a big factor was even though they are brand new to wedding photography, they had already photographed a bride and groom with dramatically different skin tones in a beautiful way.
I gave up on interracial cake toppers a while ago, mostly because I could not find WF/AM – especially a WF without blonde hair (my hair has been jet black for years). And don’t even get me started about the models portrayed in wedding magazines. There is nobody that remotely looks like us. Sometimes there is a token Indian couple, or a WM-AF couple – but there is little diversity in even these images. Every Indian wedding I’ve seen in magazines is far different from the ones my friends have had. It’s frustrating to see that for all the room colour/flower arrangement/invitation design diversity…the wedding industry desperately lacks diversity in terms of the brides and grooms in their layouts.
Post # 16
Oh this sucks big time! The last photographer I met with, she uses the client’s face to meter her light…and she told us it only works on “light” couples. She said otherwise you’re kinda winging it. I thought this was a crappy thing to say. I would think that since you’re in LA you’d be able to find someone! Coming from So Cal myself, I can safely say that where I grew up, white was the minority. Maybe contact some higher end photographers like Jasmine Star (who repeatedly show minoirty couples on their websites) and ask if she can recommend someone in your budget that consistently does couples that look like you. You’d be surprised how many photographers DO email you back. I hope you find someone super fab!