- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
I’ve been a bride, but never a bridesmaid. All of my bridesmaids were different sizes and I wanted them to feel comfortable, confident and beautiful. As long as the color and fabric were the same, I had no issue with what the style of the dress looked like. Miraculously, we were able to find one that looked good on a size 2 and a size 28, and everyone was happy.
Fast forward to my first go around as a bridesmaid. I am one of three bridesmaids in my friends wedding. The 2 other bridesmaids and the bride are sisters. They have been blessed with good genetics and obsessive gym habits. I, on the other hand, have not. While I fully intend to shape up for the wedding, I am currently battling some health problems that have slowed down the process.
The bride has chosen a dress that never in my life, even at 120 pounds, would ever consider wearing, due to modesty and style. I have small hips, no butt, skinny legs, but I am considerably bigger on top and through the midsection. I always wear dresses that have some sort of empire waist or A-line to hide my stomach and create the illusion that I have hips. While thankfully this dress is black and has ruching, I don’t think it will be forgiving enough.
I have voiced my concerns to my friend that I will not look the same as her sisters in said bridesmaids dress: http://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/styles/7123
I have e-mailed AA to ask if they have my size (or close to it) available to try on in store, because there is no way I can buy it without showing her (and myself) what I look like in it. She is convinced that I will look fine in it, but I know that she has no idea what it’s like to weigh close to 200 pounds. While Alfred Angelo (and DB’s) dresses go up to a size 30, it doesn’t mean every dress style should, ya know?
She’s had a lot of family drama and pressure surrounding her wedding and I would hate to contribute to that in ANY way. Maybe after she sees me in it, she will change her mind and agree that it is not appropriate for me. She knows that it’s something that’s bothering me (as I’ve brought it up multiple times), but has not done anything to ease my fears over it (which I understand is not her job as a bride, but was hoping she would as a friend). I can’t imagine she’d even want me in her wedding looking like a disaster… but she has thought in her mind that I will look okay in it.
I have no idea with how to proceed with this situation, except trying the dress on for her and hoping that she realizes what I’ve been saying all along. If I refuse to buy/wear the dress, should I just tell her that I can’t be in the wedding? I know it may sound petty to some, but it’s something that has been heavy on my mind.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?