(Closed) On being a plus size bridesmaid

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
1 posts

I came here, and am commenting on my wife’s account. She found this thread, because she was recently asked to be in a wedding, and the bridesmaids picked the dress without consulting her.

And I get the whole “You should suck it up, because it’s the bride’s day.” thing. But trust me, sucking it up is going to be the problem.

All you delicate A&B cup little girls that picked that dress because it looked cute? When the girl with the DDs hops into the dress, regardless of size, you are going to disappear. It doesn’t matter if they’re on a size 6 or a size 16.<br /><br />And while your girlfriends might say how great you looked, the male attention you were longing to receive is going to disappear. And your boyfriend or whoever is with you might lie to you and say that they were paying attention to you, and that you looked great. But the distraction of two large bubbles (no matter how well they’re taped up, strapped up, or sucked in) is in play.

And that applies even if a guy is attempting to be a gentleman, and is not intent on ogling the girl. They will not be focused on the bride. They will not be focused on the bridesmaids. 

Let me tell you a story about a wedding I attended three or four years ago. There was a similar situation. The bride was bound and determined to have the same dress for eight different bridesmaids. She picked out the dress for her size 2-8 friends, with relatively average sized boobs.

And then, there was her size 12 friend, who was packing way more than that. Everything was strapped up really well. And it stayed that way, for about thirty minutes. But once she got on stage, she was on display. 

It wasn’t her fault. She’d done her best. She had boobs. And lest you say “Well, she could have worn a jacket, or a shrug.” That wouldn’t have solved the problem. Because she had to sit down. And when you sit down, things shift. And they become more exposed.

All the groomsmen were trying to be gentlemen. Some of us were married. But let me tell you, it was a distraction, and uncomfortable as hell. She wasn’t behaving provocatively. 

Her husband was so threatened by the attention she was receiving, that he ended up cutting in on one of the groomsmen during the bridal party’s dance (which was mandatory, as it is at most weddings). 

This, in turn, almost started a fistfight, because the guy dancing with her was trying his best to be a gentleman about the whole thing, and keep his eyes in his head. 

And I could see both sides. But I understand how the husband feels, because the same thing is being perpetrated on my wife now. 

Though I love my wife, I remember how much of a distraction the poor girl was at the other wedding. I remember her pulling up the dress to no avail. And I remember how uncomfortable we all were, as guys.

For those of you who keep telling the girl to “suck it up”, be careful what you advise. You might think she won’t outshine you, or she just “looks fat”.<br /><br />And you’d be wrong. If you’re a single, average-chested bridesmaid, you will disappear compared to this girl. Not in the way you hoped, either. Her boobs will upstage you.<br /><br />If you’re planning to meet a man at this wedding, good luck to you. 

I suggest, instead, that you allow the girl to cover up her assets in a way that makes her feel comfortable and natural.<br /><br />If for no other person than yourself. Otherwise, it ain’t about who wore it best, but who exposed the most. And you’re going to lose that game.

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