(Closed) On birth partner(s): who will be in the room with you?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Who is/was your birth partner, did you have more than one, and were you happy with your decision?
    Baby's father : (123 votes)
    55 %
    Friend : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Family member(s) : (28 votes)
    13 %
    Sibling : (8 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Nobody : (2 votes)
    1 %
    One birth partner : (29 votes)
    13 %
    More than one birth partner : (11 votes)
    5 %
    I was happy with who was in the room with me : (16 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 32
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

    Andy stresses in hospitals (I was in emergency for a few hours once and he started having a panic attack from being in a hospital. He was fine comforting me at home!) so I’m taking my Mum in for support as well. If she even tries to look down the business end though she’s out of there! 

    Post # 33
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 1988

    Besides the medical professionals, it was just my husband.

    I always said… if you weren’t at the conception, you won’t be at the birth 😀  and if I have to see you over a dinner table, you won’t be in the delivery room  😀

    That said, my family was outside the room when our first child was born. His parents were in Hawaii (DS arrived 6 weeks early).

    It was extremely important to us to have those first few minutes alone with our child… even more so to Darling Husband. He was adopted and our son was the first blood relative he ever knew(getting teary-eyed just thinking about that). Those are moments I will always cherish and I am so thankful that we had that special time with each of our children.

    I don’t judge anyone’s choices and if one of my children wanted me in the room when their child was being delivered, I would be there… as long as their partner agreed.

    Post # 34
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018 - SLS Las Vegas

    I don’t care who is in the room. The can sell tickets if they want and hand out playbills! Though I have no modesty so I don’t care about being looked at.

    But seriously it is an incredibly joyous time and anyone that wants to be in there can!

    Post # 35
    3115 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    SO tends to be very squeamish so while I worry about his ability to properly support me through labor, he is the only person I would want there for the delivery part. I wouldn’t mind my mom in the room up to that point, but she has said my whole life that doesn’t need to see me deliver a child. I definitely want my parents there to meet him- tho I really can’t picture wanting anyone else to hold him for a little while. His parents are scared to drive in the city (Can you feel how hard my eyes are rolling???) so they probably won’t come until he drives them in at some point. 

    How do you guys feel about sharing baby right away? I feel like after 10 mos anticipation I will have a hard time letting him out of my arms even for his daddy. 

    Post # 36
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you didn’t put the baby in me, you don’t get to watch it come out of me – sorry. The only person I want with me is my husband (and whatever medical professions need to be there to ensure a safe birth of my baby).

    IMO it’s a private ‘event’ where a husband and wife (or boyfriend and girlfriend etc.) go from being a couple to being a family. I find it so, so special and I don’t want to experience that with anyone other then my husband.

    Post # 37
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Just my husband was with me. He wanted a second person to help support us, but I said absolutely no way. Once we started the delivery he said there’s no way he would have wanted someone else there.. It’s just such a special personal experience. Next time I’ll either not tell anyone we’re delivering, or turn the phones off instantly after the message goes out. The sound of the phones vibrating almost pushed me over the edge, plus his mom kept trying to call. It was super distracting and I almost threw the phones across the room.

    Post # 38
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had thought I would want my mom with me during labor as well as Darling Husband but in the moment, I just wanted Darling Husband. My parents were at the hospital and came in briefly but they could tell it was best to leave us alone. I’m happy with how it worked out.

    Post # 39
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Last time it ended up just Darling Husband & I with 3 nurses in the OR hallway,

    This time we’re planning:

    1. Darling Husband
    2. My mom
    3. MW
    4. MW assistant
    5. Photographer
    6. Dear Daughter (I’m pretty sure she’ll want to nurse atleast once through labor & I’ll have her also right after delivery)
    7. DS (if he wants)

    Post # 40
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    It will be my husband and my mommy! My mom is an RN and we are delivering in her hospital system and sad as it is, I get better treatment when she is around, plus I just want her there for support. My Darling Husband is so on board he asked if I need a c-section can we send my mom in with me, I told him no he has to be there! LOL

    Post # 41
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Not even TTC yet, but it has been interesting to read the responses!

    I think I’d only want my Fiance there. The thought of my mother makes me cringe. I think she would potentially do more harm than good. I also feel awkward about my Future Mother-In-Law being in the room during the actual birth. Ideally I’d love my aunt to be there; she is a nurse and has always had a good sense of when to step back. She isn’t pushy. I’d love to have her there to advocate for me if something went wrong, and I know she wouldn’t smother me. Alas, if we stay in England then my family will be in the US and won’t be there for the birth anyway.

    Post # 42
    3028 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @DaneLady:  Similar plan for me but at home (and thanks for sharing the awesome pic); Husband, midwife, doula, a training doula and a photographer (but only at the end/pushing and focusing on the baby.)  I worry about my low pain tolerance and my husband just wanting me to feel better and dragging me to the hospital so I need some female support and encouragement.  My mother wasn’t even mentioned and although Mother-In-Law would probably love to be there- it’s just weird to me.


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