Post # 1
My boyfriend likes to tackle things one at a time. Me, I can be in the middle of reading several books at once and multi-task up a storm. I figured that the kitchen renovation (week 10 of actual construction and many months prior of planning/delaying/waiting (after cabinets were torn down)) would need to be finished first before he’d think of other things such as engagements. So I’ve been actively managing it to move it along and prevent even more screw ups. Well, it seems I am right – last night, we were walking back to our apartment, sharing an ice cream, talking about the kitchen wrapping up today (*sigh* more problems, it didn’t), and he comments, “So I guess we need to go look at rings now.” Yes, yes we do! It has swum up to the top of the list finally, now if only his job can stop sending him places and stressing him, long enough for us to do so! Being homey cooking together the past week instead of eating takeout has helped, he’s seems to have it on his mind with various comments including asking twice if we’re an old married couple now. (Nope, gotta get married first!)
So how about it, ladies – for the uni-taskers, what are your SOs focused on instead of engagement? School? New job? Moving?
…and please let the kitchen finish tomorrow!
Post # 3
Good luck on the kitchen, how exciting that he brought it up! yay!! A new kitchen AND a ring!? Now that’s awesomeness.
He’s waiting on a… JOB! (Well, he has one, but def not what he wants)We’ve been waiting since his interview on Feb 2nd to see if he got into the union. Last year, the letter came around the middle or end of April. I am on pins and needles and hope that we get a YES this year 🙂
Post # 4
I think for my guy it is mostly school.
Post # 5
It’s the uterus. Apparently the possession of this mystical organ makes one uniquely qualified to multi-task as well as handle unpleasant chores like cleaning the bathroom, scooping litter or changing poopy baby diapers!
Post # 6
My guy is the same way! I think he is waiting for tax season to be over. He is working 12+ hours everyday, including weekends – there is NO WAY he would be able to pull off getting a ring/proposing/etc during this busy time. I know him too well. lol My fingers are crossed that after work settles down, he will focus on purchasing a ring and planning the proposal. We do have the same goal in mind to be engaged and planning a wedding by the end of the year. I’m grateful that we can have open conversations about getting married with the same timeline in mind. Now, I will be freaking out if its 01/2012 with no ring. LOL
And YAY on talks of looking at rings! That’s exciting!!!! 🙂
Post # 7
I agree! My mystical uterus gives me all SORTS of magical powers! lol
Like being able to find things that are right in front of my face or being able to remember where thigs are.
Post # 8
@kay01: This post really resonates with me and it helps me understand a lot about my own situation. When the bf and I originally discussed engagement, we agreed that our parents should meet each other. Well, now he is super focused on them meeting (which is happening at the beginning of May). In fact, every time the topic of “the future” comes up in conversation he always says “first our parents will meet.” I keep thinking to myself, “this shouldn’t be a checklist. We know they are going to get along. It will go swimingly. Why can’t we look at rings in the meantime?” Now I see that maybe it is more of a “one thing at a time/ checklist” approach. In other words, maybe his is thinking “First, the parents meet. Then, we ring shop. Then, I plan the proposal.” Anyway, I think you’re right….men just are not capable of multi-tasking!
Post # 9
All of the above. Haha. Job situation for both of us is unstable. I’m trying to find another job (so is he). I’m also working on opening up a business. I’m finishing school this summer (2nd degree). My son is also graduating (Kindergarten…haha) next month. Nothing that really affects our money situation besides the jobs. I really really want to move also. Our lease is actually up this month. But I don’t want to with the job situations and with our non-engaged situation. I figured I wouldn’t move again unless I was single, engaged, or married. So I will have to sit tight for now I guess as much as I dont’ want to. Uggghhh I need more space.
Post # 11
My SO is absolutely like this, and I am, to a point, when it comes to Big Life Things. He really, REALLY can’t think to make any other life plans until he graduates, and then either gets a raise at his current job, or gets a new higher-paying job. THEN he’ll be able to move on to getting engaged. He emailed his boss to see what his salary and benefits will be like after he graduates (which is when his title will officially go from intern to full-time employee), and he’ll find out early next week…if he gets the raise and benefits he’s hoping for, then we only have to wait until his graduation in May to start seriously thinking about engagement!
I’m a little bit different in that graduation and getting a well-paying job are, of course, priorities for me, but I can do those while also thinking about/being engaged. The only thing that is a stipulation for me to get engaged is that I have to know I’ll have a job after graduation. If I get to my graduation (in June) and still don’t have a job lined up, and we’re also not engaged by then, then I think we’d put the engagement business on hold until I got a job.
Post # 12
I’m pretty sure engagement isn’t on his radar. He’s trying to change jobs, maybe even career fields and still needs to finish filing his taxes. 🙂 I kinda had him on house search duty with me but I’m working on dropping it since it’s turning out to be a bust so he’s no longer on that tasker. Until he finds a new job I don’t think he’ll have time to really consider getting engaged. I think most guys are not multi-taskers, even though they try to be.
Hope the rest of your renovation goes well! (Crosses fingers) 🙂
Post # 13
That is so funny!!! My SO and I are the same way. He has to concentrate on one thing, I multi-task.
I’m glad the ring shopping is now at the top of the list for you guys!!! Yay!!!!
As it stands now, my ring could come in anytime between now or the next 2 weeks. For all I know, SO might already have the ring that we have ordered (but I don’t think so).
We are very busy these days with fostering (dogs). The dog we have now is a lot of work, and we have decided that once we find a place for him, we are taking a break from fostering!!
PS – At least you get a nice new renovated kitchen!!! 🙂
Post # 14
Thanks for all the good wishes – the kitchen is *finally* finished!! His mom even insisted on coming over today to help me bring up the table we’ve stuffed away in storage and cart some things down so we can start settling in (she knows he’ll procrastinate longer on doing these things than I like and wants to help out). This has taken forever. Of course, paying the final installment on it might delay that ring purchase, but it was promising yet again tonight. From joking when we walked in to dinner that I only made reservations at the place because it was near a jewerly shop (I said I did a poor job of timing it, in that case, considering they were closing) and he again said we ought to go look at them to at dinner asking me where I would want to get married. (I’ve lived a lot of places, so there’s not an obvious answer to that question.) He seems to be referencing it very frequently all of the sudden, in addition to frequently telling me how happy I make him, how happy he is that I moved in, how much he loves me, etc.