On our one month wedding anniversary, my feelings are VERY hurt

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

Aw, that sucks. However, I would just ignore it. Don’t confront her, it sounds like she would make MAJOR drama over it. Just let her be heinous and stand aside. I’m sure if the rest of the family already is familiar with her shenanigans, and didn’t comment to you about being drunk on your wedding day (which, to be honest, you have every right to be!), then she’s just starting trouble. Be the bigger person, I’m sure you were a beautiful bride, and obviously you enjoyed yourself! You can always sneak bleach in her shampoo 😉

Post # 4
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

ignore it hun, you going to her will only cause more drama.

Post # 5
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry she did that– that’s really mean! But I agree with the other girls not to confront her. You aren’t close anyway, so it’s not like you have to worry about repairing a friendship. Just chalk it up to learning her true colors and let her be.

But if you do decide to say something to her about it, I wouldn’t do it anytime this weekend. Even though I’m sure you would be tactful and lady-like, her reaction may not be, and even if you don’t do it at the wedding/ reception, you don’t want to potentially put a damper on someone else’s wedding day/ weekend.  

And maybe actions like that are why her and your husband’s brother are not engaged yet?

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would probably ignore it. It’s possible she was acting out because of jealousy. If she and her guy have been together the longest but she isn’t engaged she may have been feeling a little jealous that you guys got married. It doesn’t sound as though bringing it up will do anything but create more drama. You don’t see her very often, so keep it nice and civil.

Post # 7
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with everyone else.  Ignore it.  You won’t see her often, and you’ll probably forget about it after a while.

Why did your husband tell you about her routine, anyway?

 

Post # 9
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes i would say ignore it. If you say anything it could backfire and seem like you are the one causing drama. But i would not make any more efforts to include her in anything. It sounds like she was putting you down to make herself look better or funny or whatever- doesn’t matter from what i read it sounds like she isn’t worthy any of your time. 

Post # 10
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Of course, hon, makes total sense.  Your husband is a sweetie for defending you!

I totally get why your feelings are hurt — who makes fun of a bride on her wedding day?  Especially in front of a big group of people? Not nice at all.  I imagine that if your husband recognized how mean she was being, others in the group did, too. 

I know it hurts but I think that confronting her would truly cause more drama and she would probably do or say more hurtful things and you will be even more upset.  She just doesn’t sound worth it to me!

Try and roll your eyes and just ignore it.  And please don’t let her ruin your wonderful memories of your wedding!!  She doesn’t get to do that to you! 

 

Post # 11
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Try to shake it off. My family is really mean with jokes in general and I have brothers making unwarranted cracks all the time, which is really rude, but nothing I say is going to stop them from being a$$holes about it.

If I were you, I would probably be a little cold and unfriendly to the gf at the wedding, but not say anything directly. If she wonders why you are cold and distant, she should probably know why, but you won’t directly be giving her fodder to make fun of you further.

Curses to family sometimes!

Post # 12
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

To me it sounds like she might have been a little jealous. Especially if there have been two weddings in the family recently and she’s been with her boyfriend longest. I don’t think I would say anything about it…You don’t want to cause any conflict or anything. 

Post # 13
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ignore her. It is so obvious that she is just jealous of you. Did you say she and the brother had been together 6 years and are not married? Yep- sounds like the green-eyed monster to me. For lashing out at you for something that is obviously her personal issue, she should be an object of your pity, not scorn.

Post # 14
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I also say ignore it.  It hurts to know that they were rude behind your back but confronting them would be totally awkward.  And given you don’t spend that much time together to begin with, it would be easier to just be the bigger person.  Not that what she did wasn’t wrong…I mean it was your wedding day!!  You weren’t a Bridezilla, you were just enjoying yourself–no one should take that away from you!

Post # 15
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t say anything, but I also wouldn’t go out of my way to be nice to her either.  Maybe you are just getting to see her true colors & you aren’t liking what you are seeing.  So long as you can be civil with her for weddings & holidays, things will be fine.

I’m sorry you are going thru this.

Post # 16
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

first off, so sorry you have to deal with this and HER.

My advice is pretty similiar to the others.  Ignore it (or have your Darling Husband confront her FOR you 😉 though that, too would probably spark more drama). HOWEVER…. since you know she did this once, keep an eye out for such behavior and the NEXT TIME she tries something, tear into her sorry…rear….  seriously, if your BIL isn’t going to say anything to her (the one she’s dating) or any of the family, when she pulls this crap again, STAND UP to her and let her know you aren’t going to stand for such childish behavior.  and when you stand up to her, have your hubby there beside you, so it will be a joint family thing.

If one person does it, then you’ll more than likely have a following because most people aren’t going to have the guts to say something at such a gathering.  (generally speaking… me, I’d have NO PROBLEM doing it, but I’m also confrontational. I blame my red hair, lol)

 

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