(Closed) on the fence

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t have a whole lot to say to this post except that bringing another life into this world is worth far more than staying thin and getting sleep. I don’t have children yet but would give just about anything in this world to have one.

Post # 4
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You don’t have to decide now. You still have time. A child is a gift and a blessing, so if you know you are too scared and you feel like you will be giving up things you like then don’t go through with it right now. Be a good step mom to those boys for now 🙂

Post # 5
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am getting married in August. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and actually have a 2 year old daughter. I can honestly say, there is nothing more rewarding than being a mommy. I also will have a stepson. We currently get him everyother weekend. He is 5 years older than my daughter. He is very good with her. Although, I love him dearly and treat him as my own. Being pregnant, birth, the 1st time you hold your baby is like nothing else. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am 27 now, and wonder all the time whether to have another child after the wedding. Your body will change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work out and get it back into shape. I weighed less after having my daughter than I did before I got pregnant. Your lifestlye will change, but I still participate in things I have been doing for years. It’s all about balance. And if you have a good support system, then it will be ok.

But you have time to think about it. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds to me like the cons outweigh the pros for you. Some women just don’t have the urge to have babies, and that’s perfectly fine. Ultimately, it’s a decision that only you and your Darling Husband can make.

Post # 8
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

For me, every time I hear a screaming child at a mall, on a plane, in a store, etc, I can’t help but think how glad I am that I don’t have children.  A parent is going to have a different perspective on this.  I think it just comes down to whether or not you want to have kids.  I personally never want children, so of course I’m going to think the cons outweight the pros.  Someone who wants children, is going to say the opposite. 

Post # 9
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@hecallsmelove:  Honestly I wouldn’t wait to long I say this due to my BIL/SIL have a 17 yr old (hers by differ relationship) and then they have together now a 3 yr old and 8 month old. I feel bad for the 17 yr old, he is more like a father figure to the younger siblings than an actual brother.  I know also especially with next year moving away for school he feels like they have left him out to dry and the others are there own little family without him in the picture. 

Post # 11
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@hecallsmelove:  You sound like me.. focusing on the negatives of having a kid! I have no step kids, but I can relate to what you’re saying.

As far as staying thin goes, you can workout during your pregnancy (it’s encouraged), and you really don’t have to put much on during the pregnancy. Women have been having kids for aaaages before the eat for two rule came in (and I understand it’s now passe).. really you just need to eat healthy and the baby takes what it needs (as long as you have a generally healthy diet and take good pre-natal vitamins). My mom put on no weight but the baby weight with either me or my sister. I think doctors suggest eating an extra 300 calories per day, which isn’t that much. No reason to put fat on your arms or anything!

Do you have any kind of a desire to have a baby of your own? I also like the idea of adoption, but my SO wants biological kids. Adoption has its own set of issues and is quite expensive. I don’t have this strong urge to pass my DNA on lol. But I do kinda like the idea of having our own kid, seeing what he/she would look like, etc. It still scares me, though!

I would give it some more time and see when you’re a bit more settled. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying the two kids you are helping raise now. If you do feel that void and really really want a biological kid, then I think you should go for it. I mean there are issues of course, like age difference and the step kids possibly wondering if you love the biological kid more, but there’s pros and cons to everything. They’ll have a little brother or sister to protect. You’ll enjoy those baby years that you’ve never experienced, etc. My SO’s sister recently had another baby.. he’s 2 now and his brothers are 15 and 12 and they love their little brother.

Post # 12
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hecallsmelove:  It doesn’t seem like you really feel like having a child. I say wait and see. The urge may hit you. If it doesn’t then its no problem. Sounds like you have a full life already and your DH’s support.  

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